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  • When did you hit rock bottom?

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    Old 07-01-2005, 12:00 PM   #1
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    starznmyeyes HB User
    When did you hit rock bottom?

    I hit my rock bottom about a week ago. I had been "coping" fairly well before then, I still had my "what if" racing thoughts but I just dealt with it. Last Thursday, something freaked me out so bad that the next day for the first time I desperately wanted to check myself into the hospital, I could literally feel a sense of depression come over me. And that was it, depression runs on my mom's side and I thought no way was I going down that path.

    I've had a few counseling sessions here and there and I was on meds for about 3 months a few years ago, but this time I'm serious, I refuse to live this way. I'm going into serious therapy starting on Tuesday and I've already started my Zoloft.

    When did you hit rock bottom and know that it was time to get serious help?

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    Old 07-01-2005, 12:13 PM   #2
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    Re: When did you hit rock bottom?

    I'm 43 and have been on antidepressants off and on since I was about 25. Depression also runs in my family. I think it is wonderful that you are getting help. Too many people just try to cope and life must be really hard for them. I know I need to stay on my meds, but when I start feeling better I think I don't need them and then realize a few months later that I shouldn't have gotten off of them. My poor doctor! Good luck to you!

    Old 07-01-2005, 12:15 PM   #3
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    Re: When did you hit rock bottom?

    Glad you are so dead set to get help and get over this. That is usually half the battle. I hope the zoloft and therapy helps.
    Depression/anxiety runs on my Mothers side too.
    For me the "rock" bottom was having a major panic attack infront of my kids and not being able to control it. I made an appointment the next day.

    Old 07-01-2005, 01:20 PM   #4
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    Re: When did you hit rock bottom?

    rock bottom really lasted about a year for me and sometimes I think I'm still at rock bottom. My rock bottom hit when I went on a trip to Palm Springs with my parents and grandparents a few years ago. I have always been anxious and a nervous traveler, but never to the extent that it affected my every day life. So anyway, I was having a wonderful trip until one night we went out to dinner. We were having a great time, drinking, eating good food, etc. At the end of the meal i realized I had eaten way too much and wasn't feeling well. I went to the bathroom and had my first panic attack. I could not leave the bathroom. I knew my family was waiting for me outside - they wanted to walk around and do window shopping, and the drive back to where we were staying was a good 15-20 miles away or so, so getting back to a safe place was impossible. This made my panic all the worse. I was in the bathroom for about 10 minutes not knowing what to do when my mom came in and checked on me. At this time in my life I didn't realize what was happening, I just thought I was weird, so I did not want to tell my mom. So I had to leave the bathroom. Everyone was chatting and strolling along, looking in stores, etc but all I could think about was how I had to get back to the car and we had to get back home. my mom was trying to talk to me but I couldn't speak. I was walking as fast as I could to the car without trying to make it seem like I was running away.

    Finally everyone got to the car and the drive back was an eternity. I was squished in the backseat between my parents and desperately needed a window - I was fighting vomiting the whole time and tearing my hair out, even gouging my arms with my fingernails, anyhting to try and take my mind off the panic that was going on in my body. After that incident, i had a terrible migraine for the rest of the trip and was exhausted. I was a nervous wreck and didn't end up leaving the place we were staying for the next 3 days. When I got home I went to the dr and started meds, therapy, etc. Just tlaking about that time puts my stomach in knots. Over the course of the next year I lost 10 pounds and pretty much became agoraphobic. I am much better now, but I don't think I will ever be the same person i was before that night.

    Old 07-01-2005, 06:45 PM   #5
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    Re: When did you hit rock bottom?

    When I was 12 and suffering from severe OCD, even though I didn't know what I had at the time. I can remember the day I consider rock bottom: I went to the bathroom, and I literally couldn't sit for five seconds with an empty mind. My head was constantly swimming with "bad thoughts" and obsessions, that I had absolutely no control over my mind whatsoever. It was really frightening, and I thought I was possessed. Now, I sometimes just take a few seconds to enjoy a "silent mind", free of thoughts, something I didn't have a while back. I don't know what I'd do if my OCD got that bad again. It's living hell, trust me. The only thing that kept me going was my faith in God, which OCD also tried to take away (then and now) with vicious blasphemous obessions.

    Old 07-03-2005, 07:24 AM   #6
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    Re: When did you hit rock bottom?

    The time when I first hit rock bottom was different to the time when I knew I had to get help.

    I knew I had to get help when I was sitting in front of the computer having a panic attack and was soo scared. I had been to the doctors on and off for years... and it was then I begged my mum to take me back because I knew something was wrong and something had to be done about it.

    I hit rock bottom, however, about a year and half ago. I was losing weight so rapidly, on medication which made me very depressed, in pain all day every day, going through a lot of hassle in school over panic and trying to come to terms with the shame I felt over that, lost my boyfriend over it etc cause he was saying to people I was a complete lunatic and a psycho when he inevitabley found out...

    Even though a lot of the same stuff goes on I'm used to it and I deal better now. Back then the anxiety was just getting worse and I had no clue how to deal with it, and that's probably my rock bottom!

    Congrats to you for not letting anxiety rule your life! It's a very good attitude to have. I hope all goes well for you
    I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell.

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