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I made a successful trip

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Old 08-27-2005, 10:23 PM   #1
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I made a successful trip

I don't want to jinx myself but I will tell ya anyway. I've lived with GAD and Panic since the 70's, a long time. I've made trips before with hubby but always under the influence of xanax. My biggest problem since 1998 is I can't get on the freeway even to see my ailing mom. If I take enough xanax I can barely get through. This last may we planned a trip to mn to my hometown(hadn't been there since 1970 just before I started having PA.) We left at 4am June 11 as it is the best and the most calm part of a day for me. Now you panic people know we have extreme anxiety long before the event like weeks and months anticipating the attacks right? I somehow felt very little anxiety leading up to departure day. By the third day I was having palps alot but they weren't scaring me, just annoying me. It was occuring at least once a half hour sometimes more sometimes go all day without. By the time we got to Mn I still didn't have any anxiety, not saying I wasn't a bit nervous now and then but nothing was bothering me enough to grab a xanax. This was a road trip by the way, we made this a 3 and half week road trip and hit 23 states, the midwest central and mid east and the entire southwest. By the middle of the second week getting on and off the freeway I wasn't even aware of anymore (use to have to hum or fidgit or read in order to allow hubby to drive on it) I was in total shock of it, now I was still having those palps constantly and I was treating it like my therapist says "it is as it is" just there! Not to mention I'm one who can't be more than 10 minutes from medical help and there was 100's of miles of nothing going through the dakotas, etc, I may have asked a time or two "how far to the next town?" I talked to myself saying it's "ok, everything is alright, you're seeing places you've wanted to see for years, graceland, beale street in memphis, OKC memorial, the house I grew up in" and so on. I kept telling myself throughout, "you're not getting any younger so deal with it" and on and on. I couldn't believe how unaffected I was by things that just a few weeks ago would send me into a panic. There were some moments of course, freeway traffic in strange surroundings made me a bit nervous but no panic. We made it home safe and I still have the palps. Went to dr and it is atrial fibrillation from my mitral valve. I knew the palps but I hadn't had much of a problem with them for a couple years til the third day of the trip and it only ticked me off, thinking "right, haven't had much of these for years and now here I am out in the middle of strangeland go figure"
Went to see my mom a couple weeks ago and didn't even notice any freeway tension and here in seattle traffic, well, let's say the worst traffic we encountered on our trip was back in seattle. So maybe I cured myself by having to get on and off the freeway so much(like several times a day for nearly 4 weeks)I don't know but one thing is for sure it doesn't bother me anymore to proceed to drive on the freeway. Now that is one down and a bucket load left to conquer!! PS: Now I want to get out there and see some more, New Orleans in on the April calendar. Keeping my fingers crossed, no relapses!!!!!

Last edited by NancyH; 08-27-2005 at 10:26 PM.

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Old 08-28-2005, 06:32 AM   #2
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Punkdizzle HB User
Re: I made a successful trip

wow talk about an inspiring post! that was somthing my wife and i were going to do this summer also but i just could not force myself to do it for the fear of being days away from my safe place (home) if i started to feel anxious or have a panic attack.. i know in reality that chances are i would have been fine because i would have been to excited and busy seeing all the places i wanted to see... but i couldnt overcome the pre-trip worry and anxiety..

i just hope next summer i am strong enough to press through it and go like you did..

Old 08-28-2005, 01:56 PM   #3
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hry33 HB Userhry33 HB User
Re: I made a successful trip

to nancy
I hope you do more trips but take along a supply of xanax just in case
Life is not a dress rehearsal

Old 08-28-2005, 06:35 PM   #4
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NancyH HB User
Re: I made a successful trip

Yes, I will, they are my security blanket you could say, I may not take them but they are there if I need to.

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