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How to help others to understand? Desperate.

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Old 08-29-2005, 08:52 AM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 706
missy101 HB User
How to help others to understand? Desperate.

Any advice?

Let me tell you why I am asking..

This weekend has been the worst in years. Constant anxiety. Panic attacks. Out of control fear that something is physically/dangerously wrong with me. Body aches..flu like. Head aches. I have taken .50 - .75 mg of ativan a day for 5 days. I usually take .25 a day IF that. This relapse has me so depressed.

What is even worse is my husbands reactions. He is angry because I have not wanted sex for the last 3 days - keep in mind we did have sex 3 days in a row prior..its not like its been weeks. I told him I just feel awful and Im not in the mood. He says it hurts his feelings and I should care about his feelings too. I even wrote him a note the other night telling him I love him and that I know my issues are hard on him and that I am doing anything I can to overcome them. It didnt seem to matter. He is being very combative, defensive, and cold. I am so surprised and hurt by his actions. He really believes that he is being completely right and I am not being understanding. We have a counsler appt Thursday and that cannot possible come soon enough. I just dont know what to do. I am trying so hard to remain calm. This is making it very difficult. I wish I jsut didnt care. I am so anxious, sad, frustrated, angry, and hurt.

How can I help him to understand what I am going thru? What can I do???

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Old 08-29-2005, 08:59 AM   #2
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 489
zosolizard HB User
Re: How to help others to understand? Desperate.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Honestly, I don't know if anyone can understand, other than the people who are going through this exact same thing (such as us here on the board).

Writing the letter to him is something I would have done with my BF; I think the counseling idea is great. Having a 3rd (neutral) party to explain things to him might really help.

He is probably very confused by your ailment (heck, we are confused by it, and we are the ones who suffer from it). I would imagine that someone who has never suffered our condition cannot come close to ever understanding it.

I really wish you the best of luck. Just reassure him that you love him, and that it has NOTHING to do with him or your feelings. I hope he is able to understand. It's so hard to have the added stress of a spouse/partner not understanding. Believe me, I deal with that too.

I hope you feel better & things work out okay.

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