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    Old 07-21-2006, 01:53 PM   #1
    nikigrl8883
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    Angry still no answer! funfilled day at the clinic!

    well today i went an hour an half drive to burlington mass to go to layhee clinic i saw the nueroligist and he did the basic neuro exam and i passed buttttttttttttttt he noticed my fast heart rate as well and said that wasnt normal i then explained how i get that everyday! even when laying there and its worse from laying down to standing up...so now i am suppose to have tilt table testing and a head ultrasound to see how my blood is flowing to my brain....he said my mri was fine he thinks i could have POTS i asked him about the blood flow to the brain and i was like do you think there could be a blockage and he said if that was the case i wouldve expected you to have a stroke by now! which didnt cheer me up becasue i am deathly afraid of that....he was liek it takes a few minutes to have one and youve been having these symptoms for months so probably not but hes still doing the head ultrasound so i dont think hes too sure himself! and he said i need to have my heart tested which i am having a cardiogram august 2nd the only thing i know so far is that i dont have a brain tumor so im not to extactic ...im worried ill have a dam stroke anytime and i dont even know when my appointment is for those tests im suppose to get somthingin the mail! im so darn discouraged....he was like you have such a vast array of symptoms and all of them dont go together so he thinks i could have two seprate things TRUST ME I WISH THIS WERE ONLY ANXIETY///this is some scary crap god knows how many months i have to wait for that appointment

     
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    Old 07-21-2006, 02:14 PM   #2
    Ariom
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    Re: still no answer! funfilled day at the clinic!

    Hi there, he is right about the stroke, my father had them so I totally agree with the doctor, they just happen, you don't feel anything a couple of days before they happen. So stay and be positive about that. I use to worry alot and I understand what you are going through. but these thoughts racing through your head about getting a stroke or something else is not healthy for your mind nor your body. Everything you explain feeling is exactly what anxiety is. I suffered for quite some times thinking that everything little thing I felt, I was going to die. but I am here, and healthy, the only one thing I have is ANXIETY. thank god I came to those terms, and taking my medication helps, also having a positive attitude. Along with my family I have come to terms that I am NOT dying, and I am not having a heart attack when my heart beats fast, it is simply not a heart attack. ONLY ANIETY. So I know it is different for all of us, but for me......I found keeping myself occupied and be positive and knowing all the sympsyoms of panic/anxiety, I not going to let it control my life, I AM CONTROLLING IT. I have being things I would have never done before. I hated to drive during rush hour traffic, now.........turn on the radio sing some tunes and before I know it I am home, cooking dinner and nothing................I go to sleep thanking god another day has passed. All this might sound odd to some, but it works for me. I got tired of going to doctors, I didn't want to believe that all those physical feelings were solely anxiety. but it turned out that way. By the grace of god I consider my self lucky, and not mental. I couldn't stand being in a doctors office everyday. But I find and see this very common with individuals who suffer from anxiety, every little thing we feel, we are either dying or going to be dying any day! That way of life if you think about is time consuming. You are wasting every minute of your day worrying about something that is not going to happen. Really I am here if you need to talk, or vent. Everything is going to be okay, and you are okay. You truly are!

    Take care.
    Ariom

     
    Old 07-21-2006, 02:52 PM   #3
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    Re: still no answer! funfilled day at the clinic!

    ariom, thanks for the advice but until the day i have my cardiogram and its normal and those other tests i wont be satisfied in the least my heart and bp and head are doing some pretty crazy things and i was an active happy girl before this i refuse to belive its all anxiety until i get proven wrong i can tell you this though i sure have anxiety from thinking i may be dying 24/7/ i looked up that autonomic POTS syndrome and it sucks! not a good outcome if thats my condition....if he doesnt find anything after those tests then i have to go to an endocrine doc and if he clears me thats it! but he did notice theres something wrong with my heart and bp so im not totally crazy yet lol belive me i dont want it to be a heart condition or a stroke in the making but its kinda hard not to think it might be after all this and what the docs tell me/ god where did my life go if i survive this im changing my whole life and appreciating every day i live and feel good people dont realise how lucky they are to have good health until they get like this!///sighhhhhhhh im so sick of these docs never get a clear cut solid answer well at least not yet///them and there darn testing and they always make you wait eeeons to get them done and get the results so you sit up worring every single day that it may be your last ....

     
    Old 07-21-2006, 03:23 PM   #4
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    Re: still no answer! funfilled day at the clinic!

    Hi nikigrl8883, I totally understand your feelings and reasoning. I can understand your point of view. It is true; you won't feel better and your mind won't be at ease until you get all your tests done. You know you mentioned the endocrin doc....funny thing about 4 yrs ago, I went and found I had a tumor (not life threatning) in my left thyroid gland, got that removed and have been on Synthroid, but after that then is when my life went to..well you know! Then the anxiety medication. But other than that I know it easy for some people to say 'it's okay, don't worry, or it's in your head! I hated that, because it wasn't. But I can assure of one thing, I am not a doctor, but you are not going to have a stroke. If the pains in your head are bad, then they need to run a CATscan, I had one, and there was nothing there. get all your tests taken care of, and know this....I am here for you as well as everyone else. We have to srick together to get through the bad times and the GOOD ones. I log on about 3 to 4 times a day, not because I am having an anxiety attack or I couldn't log on....I would be pacing the house, and swallowing my pill.. But I know deep in mind it will pass. So if you ever need to talk look for me. I am here, always will be.

    Take care sweetie!!!!

    Ariom

     
    Old 07-21-2006, 03:55 PM   #5
    nikigrl8883
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    Re: still no answer! funfilled day at the clinic!

    i already had a brain mri i know i dont have a tumor but i just found out my grandpa had a stroke when he was 44 a mini stroke so now im even more afraid i am having that brain ultrasound for the blood fow but who knows when thall be it may be months from now iam scared as all hell about that stroke thing i cant get it outta my head and he had heart trouble later on in life do u get anysymptoms before a stroke like what i described in other posts>?so it usually happens out of the blue with no symptoms dont lie///why do u get a stroke god im scared

     
    Old 07-21-2006, 04:15 PM   #6
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    Re: still no answer! funfilled day at the clinic!

    nikki, its good ur getting those tests done to calm your mind.. but i was just like u, thinking somethings is really wrong with my brain.. I thought i had pots some nervous system imbalance.. but guess what? when i stopped looking up symptoms and stopped caring about what if i have a stroke or what if i have POTS thats when i got better from thinking that..I remember every time i stood up my heart would race too.. i was so paranoid thinking i had POTS.. but one day i was like screw this.. and i just stood up even though my heart was racing i was like if i die, then i die.. i tried hard enough.. and a few days later.. when i stood up from laying down my heart didnt race anymore.. and i totally forgot it happened.. i still think something is wrong with my brain but i know mostly its just anxiety.. I never knew the mind was so powerful.. just say screw it and dont be so scared of your symptoms.. eventually it will go away.. what does ur parents think of this?? if they seem like they dont really care or they seem like they really arent worried about u then trust me.. its probably just anxiety.. its good ur seeing docs but for me, docs made me more worse and more paranoid because they always seemed like they didnt know what was going on .. like u said in ur post.. hope u feel better.. suffering sucks but life goes on.. bye

     
    Old 07-21-2006, 04:45 PM   #7
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    Re: still no answer! funfilled day at the clinic!

    they are nervous my parents very nervous and my dad belives its not anxiety and i wasnt the only one who noticed it was racing all the docs commented on it ya but i dont wanna die yet so i cant just say screw it i wanted to live at least till i was 50 you know what i always thought
    people that suffer go through hell with all the symptoms and no relief especially the ones who still dont know whats wrong like me

    butother people just walk outside get hit by a car and its over// not fair why do some young people have to go through hell daily and worry until they do finally die after toture and others get the easy way out/ im not ready to die and i think im going to even more becasue i have always felt like i dont belong here not in a depressed way i mean just like im not at home! like im an alien or something lol but not an alien.....i feel like ive already been here and didnt wanna come back....i have felt that way since i was a kid young....and ive had countless wierd things happen to me especially int he last 4 years YOU WOULDNT BELIEVE some of the things.....and ive always wondered how long id live becasue theres defenatly something wierd about me not in a geek way either in a spiritual way....people have alwayts commented on me like friends bfs about how extraodinary the things are that happen to me and them when there around me so its not in my head and ive had stuff like this happen since i was 5 yrs old...maybe im on my way out

     
    Old 07-21-2006, 04:50 PM   #8
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    Using The Proper Words

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    Old 07-21-2006, 11:35 PM   #9
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    Re: still no answer! funfilled day at the clinic!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by nikigrl8883
    i feel like ive already been here and didnt wanna come back....i have felt that way since i was a kid
    nikigrl, A couple of observations I wanted to make which hopefully will ease some of your anxiety which will, in turn, hopefully ease at least some of your other symptoms as others have suggested. You mentioned feeling a strong appreciation for good health now, as a result of your current situation. A part of my and many others beliefs are that things happen for a reason - reasons such as appreciating our health (and life) more, feeling more compassion for others, etc... It sounds like you're passing those tests. That's a very good sign to me. When someone doesn't seem to want to learn the lessons that are screaming at them to be learned, then their situation only seems to worsen (scream at them even louder). If they continue to not "get it", then who knows what their fate may eventually be. I see good things for you now.

    I also wanted to comment on the above quote from you. This is a much more common feeling among people than you may realize. My ex-wife and a few other people I've known personally, have the same feeling. From all my tons of research on the subject of near death experiences, we actually have been here many times (learning purposes such as those I mentioned) and almost always are reluctant to return because of how wonderful it is on the other side. We go there for a while but some lessons are best learned back here, thus the need to eventually return. When all the lessons finally get learned, then a permanent stay back with God is finally earned. This has been the message for thousands of years from people of all religions who've momentarily been on the other side. When they return from the near death experience they no longer fear death and it would of been just fine with them had they stayed there because of how great they were feeling - way, way beyond words!

    I say all this so that hopefully your anxiety will be lessened by not thinking that your feelings are weird - they're not by any means - and also your anxiety lessened by seeing yourself as heading in a positive and spiritual direction. You actually sound very spiritual, even though you may not fully realize it yet. By the way, you ARE still taking the magnesium for your heart and anxiety, just to be on the safe side, right? Take care, Steve

     
    Old 07-22-2006, 01:29 AM   #10
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    Re: still no answer! funfilled day at the clinic!

    Niki,

    I don't want this to come across in a wrong way, but I'm not sure there is any tactful way to ask this, but have you seen a psychiatrist? You seem to exhibit the signs of a hypochondriac, especially when the doctors have performed all kinds of tests and cannot find something wrong. The reason they cannot find something wrong is not because they are terrible doctors. I truly believe this is an issue involving the mind, and perhaps that is where you need to begin.

     
    Old 07-22-2006, 08:22 AM   #11
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    Re: still no answer! funfilled day at the clinic!

    As I have mentioned my father has had a total of 2 major strokes, and has complete movement of his entire body, only thing his left hand was a bit affected. But he is doing just fine. He didn't even feel it coming, happened while he was sleeping, one of them woke him up in his sleep, my mom called 911 and off to the hospital in time. Strokes are scary.....but there is really nothing you can do about it, let me re-phrase that...we can better and take care of bodies better, but if it is going to happen, it will! but advice my dad gave me, was not to worry about it, life is too short to keep diagnosing yourself. he is a very strong man, along with those strokes he has had a quad/heart attack, and 4 small ones to follow, he is now 69 yrs old and very strong. Travels the world with mom, they live in Florence, Italy, that is where I am from. nothing stops him. he always says, better to enjoy life while you can.

    Ariom ................P.S. Take care!

    Last edited by msmod; 07-22-2006 at 09:27 AM. Reason: Removed unnecessary quote. If it's clear who you're responding to there's no need to quote the post. Ms_Mod

     
    Old 07-22-2006, 02:31 PM   #12
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    Re: still no answer! funfilled day at the clinic!

    May I follow up on my comments? I certainly do not want to come across as being insensitive to others' feelings because I have been there. I have faced a life and death situation. I was diagnosed with cancer 12 years ago and had to undergo chemotherapy. For several years, every little ache, pain, or lump scared me, and I felt like I was going to die. I have been there, and I know how anxiety affects the body. I have read books and done research on how powerful our minds are. We can use them to help heal ourselves or destroy ourselves. Since I have felt the fear of dying, I would like to help others who feel this way for various reasons.

    If I offend someone, please come to me.

     
    Old 07-22-2006, 02:53 PM   #13
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    Re: still no answer! funfilled day at the clinic!

    well i am afraid and i am just upset becasue i know im not just suffering with anxity obviously you dont know me but im telling you its not just that i would love to be happy again and go out i love to go out i just cant becasue i feel like i am gonna faint all the time and i feel sick i am not the type of girl to hide in her room so this isnt me you see/i am physically ill and i know this i have anxiety because im not getting better and i feel like im dying its been 3 months of the same hell everyday..i obvioously do have anxiety from worring all the time but i know this isnt anxiety based my symptoms are more physical and some of them cant be explained by anxiety i wish they could be

     
    Old 07-22-2006, 05:35 PM   #14
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    Re: still no answer! funfilled day at the clinic!

    You are right, Niki. I do not know you. I have read through all of your posts. As best as I can understand, you have had blood work done that includes an evaluation of your glandular system, and all that was normal. You have had a brain MRI, which was normal. You have had your heart evaluated through various tests, and those were all normal. For all practical purposes, you have had every test performed that would render a diagnosis if your symptoms were an indication of a serious, life-threatening illness or disease. Yet nothing has shown up. This means your symptoms are being caused by something else.

    I looked up the symptoms of panic/anxiety attacks, and found a huge list. Everything you have described (as best as I can remember) falls into this category. This is the list:

    Electric current thru body Excessive perspiration
    Rush of energy thru body Sweating hands
    Tingling feeling thru body Giddiness / Light-headedness
    Hot prickly feeling thru body Frequent need to urinate
    Intense heat thru body Diarrhoea
    Wave of energy thru body Sleeping difficulties
    Ice cold moving thru body Night sweats
    'Ants crawling' sensation Unexplained rashes
    Dissociative symptoms Weakness in left arm
    Depersonalisation /Derealisation: Effects
    Feeling detached from body Lack of concentration
    As if looking through a mist Extreme exhaustion
    As if you are not real Loss of feelings and/or libido
    As if surroundings not real Short term memory loss
    Stationary objects appear to move Major Fears
    Sensitivity to light / sound Fear of dying
    Dizziness Fear of having a heart attack
    Fight and Flight Fear of going insane
    Heart Fear of losing control
    Racing / Pounding heart Fear of embarrassment
    Missed' heart beats Fear of making a fool of self
    Breathing symptoms Digestive problems
    Breathing difficulties Nausea and/or vomiting
    Hyperventilation Churning / burning stomach
    Tightening of the throat Indigestion
    Choking sensation Other Symptoms
    Muscle Tension Pins and needles
    Chest pain Hot and/or cold flashes
    Headaches Shaking
    Neck pain Trembling
    Lower back pain
    Aching jaw
    Muscle pain
    Sciatica

    I am not a doctor, but I am a bystander who can look at what you are saying objectively. While you are going through the various tests, please let me encourage you to seek professional, CONSISTENT help with someone who deals with matters of the mind, i.e., anxiety and panic attacks. All I am saying is that while you are thoroughly having yourself checked, don't forget to consider a psychological evaluation. This is all about getting well and doing what it takes to get there.

     
    Old 07-22-2006, 06:14 PM   #15
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    Re: still no answer! funfilled day at the clinic!

    once again thanks for your input but your wrong about what ive had done i havent had my heart tests yet or a few others they want me to have with my head and i havent seen an endocrine speacialist yet so i havent throughly had my glandular system checked out yet and this stuf occurs all day not just a panic attack those symptoms are for panic attacks mine are all day long and i montior my heart rate and blood pressure daily for proof i still have quite a few tests to have done before you say its anxiety which I KNOW ISNT THE ROOT im so sure id bet my life on it if its anxiety how do you expalin the drastic changes in heart rate just upon sitting up like over 30 beats and the drastic blood pressure changes when it drops or raises my heart rate is either abnormally fast or abnormally slow without any attacks even the doctors said that wasnt all anxiety i asked the
    ER doctor id he thought it was anxiety after monitoring me for hours on a heart monitor and he said no it appears to be more than anxiety becasue of how drastcially your heart changes just apon changing positions and he suggested i have an echocardiogram which i havent had yet and an mri which i did have every doctor ive seen has commented on my fast heart rate upon siitting to standing or even just sitting there so how do you explain that one

     
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