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I feel like I'm trapped - please help!

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Old 09-16-2006, 12:48 PM   #1
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Charlotte, NC, USA
Posts: 5
ticki4 HB User
Unhappy I feel like I'm trapped - please help!

I have had problems with anxiety since I was a teenager but was never on medication for it. In my early twenties I developed epilepsy and have been on phenobarbital since then. I am now 47. I guess the phenobarbital causes lots of interactions with medications. Eight years ago, after the birth of my son, I developed terrible anxiety and depression. I was put on klonopin to help me sleep and prozac for the depression. Since that time I have tried numerous other drugs due to the side effects I have with the ones I am on. I have not been successful with getting off the ones I am on or putting up with the side effects of the new ones.

Currently I am taking 120 mg. of phenobarbital, 1 mg of klonopin, 15 mg. of prozac and 10 mg. of ambien. My mother is dying and lately I have been under a tremendous amount of stress. This has made everything worse. I went to my doctor and they prescribed trazodone to help me sleep instead of the ambien. I took one dose and was knocked out until 4:00 the next day.

My doctor wants to put me on a medication for bipolar disease to help stabilize my moods. However, the thoughts of going on another medication just throw me into a whirlwind. Not to mention that this drug sounds dangerous. They have also mentioned changing me to ativan instead of klonopin. The doctors have said that I can just stop the klonopin and start taking the ativan. I am scared to death to try it. I've heard such horrible things about klonopin withdrawal.

So I'm stuck. I feel like I can't stand to stay on all the medications due to the side effects, however I can't stand to come off of them due to the withdrawals. I have so much going on with work and my mother that I can't afford the luxory of staying home and just getting through it. I just want to throw all the drugs down the drain except for the phenobarbital and be normal again.

I am scared to death. Is this what my life is going to be like? Am I going to be addicted to all the medications for ever. I could really use some help on how to get through this or out of this.


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Old 09-16-2006, 06:19 PM   #2
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: private
Posts: 348
dannic1 HB User
Re: I feel like I'm trapped - please help!

Hi. Read your post and let me say, that my heart goes out to you. I have had anxiety, that I believe is caused by OCD - obsessive-compulsive disorder. Just didn't know until recently what it was. Anyway, my point being, have you ever considered having an alternative treatment called biofeedback done? It is a way to help correct brain disregulation, but WITHOUT medication. I have already had 14 treatments done and my anxiety is much better. It can treat a lot of disorders - anxiety, depression, etc. My current therapist (switched therapists) is going to continue with the biofeedback, in hopes of also helping the OCD. It's certainly worth a shot - what do you have to lose? My thoughts and prayers are with you during this tough time in your life. I'm here to support you in any way possible. danni

Old 09-17-2006, 12:12 PM   #3
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Charlotte, NC, USA
Posts: 5
ticki4 HB User
Re: I feel like I'm trapped - please help!

Thank you so much for your reply. I was actually seeing a cognitive therapist (is that the same thing?) but had stopped about 6 months ago because I thought I could do it on my own. Of course, that was before all these extra stresses came into my life. One thing is for sure - I won't be taking any more of the trazodone. I'm sure it is wonderful for some people but I really reacted badly to it.

I have another appointment with my psychiatrist and the cognitive therapist next week. I leave for a business trip (of 2 weeks) in 2 weeks so I hoping to get some of this anxiety down by then. I did go to church today and it seemed to help - just getting out of the house. I think during the weekends when I don't have as much structure I tend to fall apart.

Please stay in touch. I'm truly struggling and I guess we all feel like we are alone in the way we feel unless we know someone else that is going through some of the same things. I'm going to talk to my psychiatrist about the biofeedback.


Old 09-17-2006, 01:33 PM   #4
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 23
quiksilver34 HB User
Re: I feel like I'm trapped - please help!

i just want to say first that i really dont know much about anxiety but my heart goes out to you. i bet you are just going through a really hard time. i suggest you talk to your doctor about not wanting to be living off of the medicines.

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