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i don't know how to explain..

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Old 09-18-2006, 08:35 PM   #1
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mishkaaa HB User
i don't know how to explain..

i haven't posted on here in awhile, well, because i didn't have to! i used to have terrible anxiety but i recently started recovering.

last year around this time, i was thinking weird terrrible thoughts. like just thoughts of doom like something is going to happen. something random and bad, like out of a weird scary movie. i used to be in a very dark place, and today i had a feeling like that. i don't want to slip back into that 'dark' place. i have come so far since last year, and i will do anythign in my power to keep myself from that.

does anyone have any idea what i'm talking about at all .. :[
i have anxiety, i USED to be depressed (i believe .. who knows if i still am. if i am, i have improved greatly) as well as ocd -- which is why these thoughts of doom keep repeating in my head. ifa nyone understands please let me know .. :[ i feel nauceous because i fear that i will be just as i was last year ..

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Old 09-19-2006, 04:55 AM   #2
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cecropia HB User
Re: i don't know how to explain..

You haven't said if you are on any medication right now. I have anxiety that improves with meds and I can go without for a few years and then it comes back. Mine always comes back in the spring, but I always have some trouble in the fall even when I'm feeling really, really good. The changing of the seasons can affect anxiety and you might be suffering from SAD (seasonal affective disorder), I think I said that right. I always struggle through the fall months. I live in Michigan and the fall and winters here are very dark and dreary and you have to start shutting all the windows around this time of the year and it's terrible if you already suffer from depression and GAD. I walk outside all winter in the morning and in the evening even in the dark. I just dress well for it and if there is snow I wear boots. I have to get outside, I can't stand being cooped up.

Old 09-19-2006, 05:06 AM   #3
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Re: i don't know how to explain..

i never have been on any meds, and i'm still not. i believe i have some sort of SAD, but the strange thing is, these feelings started yesterday, on a day where it was 80 degrees! maybe just the anticipation of the fall season is making me like this. i just need to keep telling myself that i am not going to get like i did last year, and that i will be fine.

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