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Please Help I think I am dying

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Old 09-28-2006, 11:31 AM   #1
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: london
Posts: 97
mellyuk HB User
Please Help I think I am dying

Hi All

I am fromt he UK and have suffered with anxiety for years, I never go out to see anyone, work all day at home, feel like I am dying all the time and the list goes on.

In March this year i went to the Doctors with a chest infection and the GP I was seen by suggested I had HIV. Well I ran out of the office and stressed for 3 weeks before getting the test which thankgod was negative.

However since then I have had this feeling that I am dying, a few weeks ago I had a little blood on the loo paper after a bowel motion, so I went to see my normal GP and she said piles and gave me something for it. Then about 3 days after this I strained on the loo and loads of blood come out. So I called my GP and she has referred me to the hospital for a camera up my bum. I am going tomorrow and I am so worried, convinced they will find cancer.

To add fuel to the fire my periods since March have been starting early by two weeks sometimes, have become very heavy and I have sometime being having a little brown discharge before and after my period. So I thought I'd better see a doctor and when I went I had to see the GP how said I had AIDS/HIV.

She did an internal and said my womb felt weird and she was being careful and is sending me for a pelvic ultra sound. In the meantime all the swabs she took, along with a pap have come back normal and she has wrote to me asking me to go and see her on the 12th october. I am cracking up and my life is coming to a stand still, I'm sure this doctor is trying to fidn something up with me, as I havn't even had the appointment through yet for the ultrasound.

Today I brought a heart rate monitor, god knows why, I knew it was a bad idea. Anyway my average heart rate whilst sitting typing on the computer or building a website is around 90 - 97bpm and if I do anything it goes up to 114. I am now convinced I will not make it to the hospital tomorrow for my bowel investigation.

Does anybody think my heart rate is elevated due to my worry or do you all think I have a heart problem.

I was so fit and active in march, now I am scared to workout and walk my dog alone, incase I drop dpwn dead. Which I know is silly, because if I drop down dead nobody can help me anyway.

Please take this post seriously as I am so scared, i can't do anything, I think I have womb cancer, bowel cancer and a heart problem, I just want all my tests to come back good and then try some tablets as I am sick of this circle I am stuck in.

I am 30 year old female and take diazipam for my panick attacks and anxiety. I am trying to change with susan jeffers, louise hay and emotional freedon therapy but nothing is helping and I am trying so hard.

Thanks melly xx

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Old 09-28-2006, 11:55 AM   #2
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: PA
Posts: 163
smurfy33 HB User
Re: Please Help I think I am dying

melly - I'm so sorry you are going through this right now. I have to say that your heart rate is not that high. My resting heart rate is in the 90s and it goes up with any activity I do. That is not abnormal, especially with all the stress and anxiety you are under right now. Honestly, I would not worry about your heart at all. It sounds like your doctor is really trying to figure out what is going on. The waiting is the worst part. Just hang in there until you get your test results back.

Old 09-28-2006, 12:57 PM   #3
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 712
Leela_C HB User
Re: Please Help I think I am dying

Hi Melly. Your heart rate is probably elevated due to the worries you are having right now.

Why in the world did your doctor think you had HIV because you were having a little bit of brown discharge before and after your period? I'm not a doctor or anything, but it sounds like spotting to me.

It is good that you're going tomorrow to get what I imagine is a colonoscopy. The blood you are referring to could be anything as simple as hemorrhoid or it could be more serious. At your age, though, you probably don't have too much to worry about. I'm sure everything will be fine.

Walking your dog would probably be good for you. If you are really that scared, get someone to go with you.

If, after your test tomorrow, you are still worried about your heart, have your doctor give you a monitor for 24 hours. It will help ease your mind that nothing is wrong.

You're not dying. Take a couple of deep breaths. If nothing else, you'll be at the hospital tomorrow for your test and I'm sure they will check you out.

I hope you feel better!

Old 09-28-2006, 04:53 PM   #4
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 266
timetoreclaim HB User
Re: Please Help I think I am dying

Oh sweetie GET RID of that heart monitor. Put it up and don't get it back out again. I've had anxiety off and on for 10 years now and one of the biggest worst things we can do to ourself is body scanning. Actually monitoring any tiny change in our body can bring on more anxiety. I've had heart palpitations, sensations where it feels like it skips or does a back flip in my chest, since the panic and anxiety started and I'm still here and after a while you realize that you will be too and it will provoke less fear for you. Later you can sort of blow it off so it doesn't get a grip on your fear. Oh and my heart rate is very often over 90, I sure wouldn't worry too much about that.

Now about the period changes, heavy bleeding and all that. I'm a 36 y/o woman and have head a whole bunch of changes with that stuff lately too. They are getting closer together, they are heavier, and I get spotting especially after they end, bad cramping and lot's of moodiness as well as increased anxiety. I had a full work up done for that and I have fibroids ( found on ultrasound) that are causeing most of the problems. It's nothing serious and I can deal or fix it, so what's going on with you may not be anything horrible just some changes to your body.

Get the tests done so you know what you are dealing with but try not to worry until then. Understandably you are nervous now with all these tests coming up, who wouldn't be.

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