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just feeling plain icky

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Old 11-11-2006, 09:30 AM   #1
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 7
kittykatie HB User
just feeling plain icky

i get so horribly down on myself, so afraid of failure in everything, i want to stop dead in my tracks and take to bed. ugh.

8 months ago i moved back to the east coast,dc, where i grew-up, after living in the southwest for 8 years. i was floundering BIG time. on paper, things are much better: i'm near my family- they love me, I fell in love & am living with a man for the first time - he loves me beautifully, & I'm working regularly for the first time in years. But, everything is so scary to me. I keep feeling like I'm doing something wrong. I have a lot of the things I've always wanted, but still feel weird- like I'm waiting for my life to start, and it won't.

I thought after this long here I'd be better. Much better. But my anxiety is through the roof. I cry and worry all of the time. I'm so scared & I know it's just fearing fear, but it's sooooo hard to stop. Why haven't I acclimated yet?

I don't feel like going to therapy; I've had years of it. I know what's wrong. Now how do I make it stop? I'm just sitting here, teary. My boyfriend went to his parents for the weekend; I couldn't go- too anxious, & weirded out by everything. Help.

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Old 11-11-2006, 09:56 AM   #2
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 786
ocdengineer HB User
Re: just feeling plain icky

You just made a whole load of really large life moves. Take it easy on yourself, your stress level, whether you know it or not, it through the roof. I have the same problem. I recently went on vacation with my family, (Wife and baby girl), to NC to visit my brother and my parents. I had more anxiety on what was supposed to be my vacation than I had had in a long time. You made a really large jump, so it may take some time to get used to the new surroundings. Plus if you lived in the SW, you didn't have to deal with Winter, and that does have a huge effect being from NY originally.

There are meds that can help with the anxiety, but it has to be a decision that you commit to. I take Xanax every day for anxiety and it has helped me immeasurably. I have very little anxiety symptoms at all these days.

I wish you luck. If you find yourself nervous about doing something, that means you need to do it!

Last edited by ms_mod; 11-11-2006 at 11:18 AM. Reason: Please note your *** out word has been removed. As stated before if you know a word is questionable enough that you need to edit it, then just DO NOT use it. Ms_Mod

Old 11-11-2006, 11:14 AM   #3
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: nottingham
Posts: 112
langy HB User
Re: just feeling plain icky

hi i know exactly how you feel. i should of gone to a concert tonight but my head told me i couldnt do it and i sold my ticket at the last minute and now im crying as i cant believe it got the better of me again.ive got well in the past but since my dad died 9 weeks ago its got so much worse im anxious all the time and had to be off work the last 2 weeks with stress. its so frustrating.

Old 11-11-2006, 11:23 AM   #4
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 7
kittykatie HB User
Re: just feeling plain icky

oh gosh, i can't tell you how sorry i am about your dad. that's rotten. i just took .5 mg of klonapin & have been watching a friends dvd just trying to calm down. i worry about everything! & i do the same as you i.e. selling your ticket at the last minute- there will be shows i want to see, art exhibits, walks i want to take, writing i should do- & i just get so overwhelmed. i worry about worrying! i just cannot relax today!

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