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  • *Sigh...I wish I wasnt so scared of myself

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    Old 08-30-2007, 01:04 PM   #1
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    *Sigh...I wish I wasnt so scared of myself

    Hi there, I am a 19 year old student and I have an anxiety disorder. I have had this for over a year now but it comes and goes. The first time I had a panic attack was when I was asleep, I awoke violently shaking and could not regain control until maybe a few weeks later. I constantly get palpitations, fluttering sensations and I keep checking my pulse. I fear death even though I know everyone will die eventually. I keep thinking my heart will stop beating and these thoughts of me dying are causing me to have sleepless nights. I awoke this morning gasping for breath, thinking I was having a heart attack but I calmed down half an hour later (although my chest does still hurt) Logic seems to go out the window, and I feel that I will destroy myself eventually if I dont break away from myself, from my fears. Im such a coward.
    Another thing that I imagine is me chocking when I eat, I just imagine these scenarios and cant help but become tense whenever I approach food. I cant even enjoy eating anymore because Im so worried about chocking. I know I have a problem, its just I hate talking to people who will pity me or sit there quietly waiting for me to tell them everything. Im not good with expressing my emotions, and I hate asking for help....but I need it. I have to deal with this because it is consuming my spirit.
    Can anyone advise me on what to do? I think I know but I need to hear what others have to say.

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    Old 08-30-2007, 04:38 PM   #2
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    Re: *Sigh...I wish I wasnt so scared of myself

    Sometimes you have to suck up your pride and ask for help. If you have some sort of chemical imbalance and it's controlling your life, you should do something about it. I'm in a very similar situation. I'm a 21 year old student and I had to withdrawal from school until January because of these issues. I was very reluctant to take any medication but I think about my anxiety all day every day. I was prescribed pexeva but have yet to start taking it. Just fyi, I have very similar symptoms. I have chest pains and heart flutters and fear that one day it'll just stop. Keep in mind that you're not alone. Try not to stress over getting help, just decide for yourself if you'd rather continue living with this anxiety or would you rather seek help and possibly get over this and get on with your life.

    Old 08-31-2007, 09:55 PM   #3
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    Re: *Sigh...I wish I wasnt so scared of myself

    You sound to be obsessing over death, it kind of sounds like obsesive compulsive disorder. I would go talk to a psychiatrist. Pychiatrist are medical doctors that will be able to give you medications to relieve your symptoms. Dont worry about having to tell your whole life story to the doc. Just tell him what you told us and that might be enough for him to get a diagnoses. I developed social anxiety when I was seveteen and I just barely got treatment at the age of 23. And you know what it works! I no longer have anxiety. I dont know why I waited so long. Dont be ashamed or hesitant for whatever reason to see a psych doctor because you could benefit greatly.

    Old 09-01-2007, 03:12 AM   #4
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    Re: *Sigh...I wish I wasnt so scared of myself

    I have had what you are discribing and a lot worse. believe me.
    You say you need us to tell you what you already know. Well here it is:
    You need help.
    Medication and therapy combined. You need to want to get better, You need to commit and you need to stick with your decision.
    That's all. You will get better but you have to have patience .
    Exercise and other physical activities help as do new hobbies and interests.
    I am a survivor of very crippling panic attacks which I have had for the last four years. I am now 46 and I am enjoying a new lease of life.
    It can be done, you can get better. Do not be scared just take the plunge. Do not waste time and energy thinking. Just do it.
    God bless you

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