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I don't know how much more I can Take

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Old 09-10-2007, 11:14 PM   #1
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Boston
Posts: 9
jacem1222 HB User
I don't know how much more I can Take

Another day 2am can't sleep The past few months I can't seem to shake the feeling that something is wrong with me.I'm 39yrs old and have had a lot of things happen in my life,sometimes I think my brain is just full and can't take anymore.I'm no stranger to panic attacks,mostly at night,the meds used to help a little.But I can never shake the feeling that something is physically or mentally wrong with me,it consumes most of my days and nights.The only time I really sleep is when I drop from pure exhaustion.I'm petrified of dying,my shrink calls it fear of impending doom,I found something on the internet called Somniphobia,that makes a lot of sense.None of the meds really help,Ive had physicals,blood work,chest x-rays,everything short of a brain scan,I am so miserable most of the time,between this and I also have back problems for which I also take a lot of pain meds.It's every twinge,heart flutter,pain or weird feeling,I'm on a first name basis with most the ER staff,Ive tried to convince myself it's nothing,but that dosen't work.I have saint medals hanging over my bed a Bible under my mattress .Does anyone have things like this or any suggestions on what helps.I'm only 39yrs old and can't allow this to go on.Thanks for listening.

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Old 09-11-2007, 11:50 AM   #2
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Pittsburgh, PA, USA
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springgodess HB User
Re: I don't know how much more I can Take


Well, it sounds like you're not in an ideal shape. Are you on any kind of anti depressant? Because if your condition has been going for a while, I think you would greatly benefit from one. Most anti depressants nowadays are dual action, which means they are good for relieving symptoms of both depression and anxiety. How about a sleep medication? Very effective, I'd be surprised if your doctor has not recommended one. Also, what do you do for work, and how have you managed to work with your ongoing condition?

Old 09-11-2007, 11:56 AM   #3
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: MS
Posts: 2
DZ-015 HB User
Re: I don't know how much more I can Take

What are you diagnosed?

I have OCD, and one of my obsessions is about my health. I have these constant feelings that there's just something wrong with me. After a while these feelings build up into full-blown pseudo-delusions. I once was convinced i had AIDS, and it was causing my kidneys to fail for some reason. Another time i was obsessed that i had brain cancer. Needless-to-say doctors kind of look at you funny when you tell them you just know you have a tumor in your head. In between incidents like this, i have an all-pervading sense that there just has to be something wrong with me.
I don't think this is all OCD-related, but it is deffinately somewhat, because meds keep it to where i'm not controlled by it all the time. It's still a problem, but nowhere near as bad.
I don't really know what else to say. I know how you feel, and it truly is awful. Hang in there.

Old 09-11-2007, 11:57 AM   #4
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mosesport HB User
Re: I don't know how much more I can Take

I'm no doctor, but it really sounds like a panic disorder. I have somewhat of the same things going on in my life. I have that fear of impending doom almost constantly. It consumes my existence. It makes it extremely hard to function in any conventional sense. I find myself always in fear of something bad happening. I took Xanax for some time, but I'm over that phase. Now I'm just dealing with it and taking Valerian Root on the side. It's hard, and it certainly isn't a happy existence, but I'm still alive. Some would say that's a good thing. I'm sorry I can't offer better advice. Best bet is to talk to a real doctor, not a general practitioner. Someone that can really assess the situation and figure out what would be best for you. Best of luck to you sir. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Old 09-11-2007, 12:35 PM   #5
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sunshine12 HB Usersunshine12 HB Usersunshine12 HB Usersunshine12 HB User
Re: I don't know how much more I can Take

Jacem, My heart goes out to you all people with anxiety, panic etc. I suffered for three years with this. I too knew everyone on a first name name basis in the er. It was embarrasing almost but I have to tell you this.
The docs that were understanding and didn't roll their eyes at my history then look at me like I was mental really made a difference. One Doc had panic attacks even, and I was amazed he could work. He said to me hey, when I feel an attack coming on I do what I gotta do till I can get some backup and usually by the time that is I am fine. Don't ever be ashamed of this and don't feel like your crazy, it's real, it is happening and you have to learn to cope with it.
I was to the point of not leaving my home, I carried zanax around like it was nitro. I cried, I prayed, I said I was nuts, I said I wasn't and meantime the anxiety kept on punging forward on me.
Someone said to me also, you know, you can drop dead sitting outside of the hospital to you know. Hmmmm I hadn't thought of that. Here I was feeling at ease knowing someone would grab me if I fell over ouside the door. I knew then that I must have some control over it because I always was better once I was in the er or outside having a smoke even.
What your mind thinks about....EXPANDS. That is what that er Doc said so I started to think of good things and yoga breathe as he said deep and slowly. I carried a choclate bar around and nice smelling oil bottles to bring out and smell in my time of need. It all took my mind off the moment of fear. Music tapes also I kept in my car and home. I kept on
eventually eating the choclate bars and later would replace it. Smells and music seemed to distract my panic or anxiety a little at a time.
Try to think positive no matter how hard it is for you. Think of healthy things and how much better your going to get being positive. It all takes time and belief and some patient good docs who have been there. Hang in there Sunshine

Old 09-13-2007, 01:07 AM   #6
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Boston
Posts: 9
jacem1222 HB User
Re: I don't know how much more I can Take

As far as work my DR says I can't work anymore due to my back condition(deg.disc disorder)I am on Zoloft,Ativan,and Valium for sleep,but thet don't seem to be working.Ive ended up at the ER a few times and once I'm in a room I feel better,so I know it must be in my head,I just can never talk myself out of it and the lack of sleep is really starting to take a toll.

Old 09-13-2007, 10:56 PM   #7
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Washington
Posts: 3
bassman263 HB User
Re: I don't know how much more I can Take

Sorry to hear you are having troubles. I have been dealing with a panic disorder for a while now, I took myself off the Zoloft I had been prescribed because of the negative side effects, and have been suffering from the withdrawals from it for 5 months now, even though I weaned myself off. I know what you mean about feeling something is wrong, and being scared of dying. My scare of death though is probably different from yours, I am scared to die because I dont' want to go to Hell, and I think that is where I am going at this point in my life, because I can't get it together spiritually. So that is why I fear death, and I think way too much about it, instead of living my life the way I should, the fear stops me from doing alot of stuff. So, try to find out what exactly is scaring you, if might help a little, if you can work through it. Wish I had more helpful things to say, but hang in there! Do the best you can every day, try to get any type of exercise you can, its good for your brain, and when ever you have a negative thought, take it captive, and then turn it into something better. It takes time, I know, because I am still trying to work on it, but I have noticed some good changes by doing it, so give it a shot. Above all, find something that makes you smile every day, whether it be the sun rising or a leaf floating gently down from a tree, just something to bring about a positive thought. Have a good one, hope you get some sleep. Oh yeah, one thing you can try for relaxation and sleep is GABA, its a natural amino acid in our brains, and too little of it causes anxiety, you can find it at a health food store. Its works well. I have researched it alot, and its safe. Bass

Last edited by ms_mod; 09-14-2007 at 07:22 AM. Reason: Replaced text message, chat room word with the proper word. Please follow the posting rules. Ms_Mod

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