It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Anxiety Message Board

Anxiety or something else?

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 03-09-2008, 09:45 AM   #1
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 433
cram315 HB User
Anxiety or something else?

Anxiety? Something else?
I have a 14 year old neice who has an unbearable personality.
Neice is being treated w/zoloft for anxiety. Therapist said no signs of bipolar.

Does a person with anxiety and seperation issues become combative, screams, yells and has temper tamptrums until it goes out of her system?

It gets worse and worse with time. Holidays are a nightmare.

She is mean, cuts you up and then says "only kidding". She has few friends. I think this is why but her mother thinks this behavior is only at home. An example of her behavior is, she is on the phone and will walk into the livingroom while I am visiting. I am engrossed in a conversation with her mother or sister. She is laughing and talking on the phone but when she gets off, she goes off. Screaming how rude her sister and mother was talking while she was on the phone. Her chest goes out, she gets real close up and yells.

My niece is small for her age, hasn't hit puberty yet, it isn't PMS.

She has seperation issues and gives my sister trouble going to school. (Thats a whole different story). When my niece is home, my sister is not allowed to go anywhere without her. (NOT allowed, literally). If we go to the store and she sees something she wants and you say no, she screams and carrys on almost to hysteria <BECAUSE> no one loves her. If my sister buys something for my other niece it is chaos.

I love my sister to death, literally. We have mentall illness in our family but this one is out of control. My sister can't even go walk in the summer <WITHOUT> her. She walks infront of us inbetween us to the point of tripping over her and she doesn't allow you to talk. If you say wait we were talking she starts screaming, carrying on, crying, "fine, don't talk to me", "you hate me", "I hate you", everyone turns around, its embarrasing.

Yesterday my two sisters and I met at the mall, first time in over 5 years. We talked all afternoon. It was great. But my niece was mad my sister was out, called her, quizzed her and probably berated her. My sister said next time we come, I have to bring her along, she has anxiety and seperation issues.

I don't want to go to a mall with my niece. Not only will she make sceneS but when she decides she wants to go home, you HAVE to go HOME.

What do I say to my sister to let her know it isn't ok to bring her because of her behavior.

Is this really anxiety?

Last edited by ms_mod; 03-09-2008 at 10:50 AM.

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 03-09-2008, 03:47 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 1,883
cmpgirl HB User
Re: Anxiety or something else?

Hi Cram: Please don't be offended, I'm only going to say this, because I've seen this type of behavior before. (in my own niece, actually)

In my niece's case, my sister-in-law coddled and bought into her behavior constantly. This child was (and to some extent, still is) a nightmare. I love her very much and also love my S-I-L, but nobody could stand to be around this little girl.

When a child behaves badly, to get what they want, and are given their way over and over again, they will always continue to do it. It's kind of like the old saying "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". She's obviously learned that all she has to do is rant, rave and cry and everyone will just give her what she wants. I guess in old fashioned terms, one would say, she's just very spoiled.

You said she has separation issues. My niece did too, because from the time she was a toddler, her parents would sneak out of the house all the time to avoid having to see her fuss a little. All children do that when they are little, but the worst thing you can do is sneak out. That really scares the child and makes them feel betrayed.

I see so many parents, today, worrying about "upsetting" their child. They say they can't bear to see the child in distress. If children aren't given the chance to learn how to cope with day to day realities, such as a parent going off to work or to the store, how do the parents ever expect that child to deal with the real world?

Anyway, enough of my own little rant. There is help. My niece and her parents are now in counseling. They see a family therapist, who specializes in these sort of issues. They are all slowly learning. The child is learning that she needs to accept that the world doesn't revolve around her, and the parents are learning that the world will not end if their daughter doesn't get her way.

I hope this helped a little and I hope you can feel comfortable discussing this with your sister. Feel free to show her what I wrote, if it helps. Good luck to you all and I hope things get better for everyone concerned. cmpgirl

Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Does anxiety ever completely go away? angst guy Anxiety 4 05-06-2010 09:38 AM
Anxiety and Chest Pain scorpmrat Anxiety 3 04-17-2010 12:42 AM
Questions about Anxiety and Me Zephyrus Anxiety 3 05-27-2009 10:45 AM
Anxiety for life? allsorts Anxiety 9 09-10-2008 07:02 PM
I think my anxiety is making me physically ill krisdance83 Anxiety 2 12-31-2006 03:26 PM
Starting local anxiety/panic support groups. mr_panicky Anxiety 3 04-20-2006 12:08 PM
severe anxiety. my story. and what can it do to you? Punkdizzle Anxiety 7 07-27-2005 12:35 PM
Desperately trying to defeat anxiety... Please help Man Apart Depression 12 12-30-2004 11:17 PM
My Medical Answer to my Panic/Anxiety! Phlox Panic Disorders 20 08-09-2004 11:23 PM
Anxiety, Panic & Disequilibrium **PART ONE & PART TWO** Wowwweee Inner Ear Disorders 2 04-15-2004 06:18 AM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:16 AM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!