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  • Social Anxiety - Anyone feel so "Out of Place"

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    Old 01-08-2009, 03:32 AM   #1
    Registered User
    Join Date: Jan 2009
    Location: Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
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    karinasteenari HB User
    Social Anxiety - Anyone feel so "Out of Place"

    Hi all,

    I have been reading these boards for a while now and have finally decided to post. I'm 22 years old and have had social anxiety and a bit of OCD since grade school. I also have the odd anxiety attack in some situations, and when under periods of stress I go through phases where i have them everyday.

    So my question is - does anybody feel "Out of Place"? Whether it be at work on the train etc. Argh - i just feel like I hardly ever fit in. I also have these over whelming thoughts that poeple hate me or are talking behind my back. This is definetly the most deliberating sympton of SA. Any tips for this anyone?

    Now just to vent a bit -

    Shaking hands - I hate this! Especially when dictation typing with my boss (who cannot type and has his Personal Assistants type for him) Or when meeting new people and they have no idea what you are going through.

    Losing my train of thought/forgetting how to do things when under pressure - when doing something on the computer for my boss - and then he gets frustrated with me and comments to me that "I need to learn how to do this" Ah, well Mr boss man if your hands were shaking like a snowcone and your heart was beating at 120 beats per minute I am sure you would have trouble too.

    Being really quiet and reserved around certain people - especially of they have a loud personality. Its weird though, some poeple I feel and act like my "normal self" (funny, witty lots to say etc) and then certain people just make me retract into my shell.

    Being really scared of confrontation - I over analyze what I have done at work get scared of going to work the next day for fear of being "told off" (I think this is more OCD) And sometimes if I think I have made an error, I cannot sleep due to the fearful anticipation of the next work day.

    So, if you're reading this you have read my post. I would love any comments or tips etc. And I would really love poeple to tell me how Social Anxiety affects there daily life so I don't feel so alone.

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    Old 01-08-2009, 05:24 AM   #2
    Cat Az
    Join Date: Apr 2008
    Location: Pekin,Illinois
    Posts: 70
    Cat Az HB User
    Re: Social Anxiety - Anyone feel so "Out of Place"

    I know that more people suffer with this illness than you know. Sometimes medication is helpful. There must be some doctors who have treated this successfully. Please don't give up. Paula Dean suffered from this, for many years she didn't leave her house. I wish you luck.

    Old 01-08-2009, 12:58 PM   #3
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    Location: australia
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    Trixibel HB User
    Re: Social Anxiety - Anyone feel so "Out of Place"

    I can relate to this. Especially the bit about being really quiet around certain people.

    It's important for you to get some help so that you can recognise the patterns of behaviour you use to cope with it and change them so that they don't affect how you form new relationships etc. I find I make new friends very cautiously now. I have no problems meeting new people or getting to know them (as long as they're not confrontingly loud) but there's a certain barrier that I put up that I rarely let people through now. But I have lots of self esteem issues as well. But I think really it's just having high anxiety levels that contributes to all this - something to do with a part of the brain that is more reactive to stress.

    I know people who are so socially anxious that they don't want to talk to people in shops. I'm not like that. I can ask anyone anything. I just always have the feeling that people don't like me very much and my friends don't think I'm funny or interesting or want to spend time with me. So I think mine's more a self esteem issue than anything else. For example - we moved into our new house 16 months ago and new people moved in next door earlier last year. Every time I see the woman I say we must have a coffee but I never arrange it because I think - what if she doesn't like me? It's self defeating and frustrating and I'm my own worst enemy.

    Old 01-10-2009, 09:50 AM   #4
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    TigerLily HB User
    Re: Social Anxiety - Anyone feel so "Out of Place"

    You are not alone. I have SA in certain situations as well. I especially relate to you with feeling incompetent at your job. I started the same day as another girl and I feel like everyone likes her better, they go to her for questions, help, etc....which I think is attributed to her being more social in general. But it makes me feel like people think Im stupid so they go straight to her before me. And when people do ask me to do something, or have a question...I get so nervous about doing and saying the right thing that many times my mind goes blank. I know I am smart and can do my job but when the SA kicks in, its like you forget what to do. I fear that my supervisor is always talking about how I dont do a good job, etc...but hes never said anything to me. Once I was worried, got called into his office...thinking I was going to be in trouble for something...and he was giving me a bonus! I sometimes think I just create it in my head that people dont like me. I definitely think that I overanalyze conversations, things I do or say, etc...and worry about them again and again...

    I also an very shy around people I dont know..and it doesnt help when people constantly ask "why dont you talk?" or "you are so shy!" just makes me more self conscious...

    Anyways just know that you are not alone in this!

    Old 01-10-2009, 01:25 PM   #5
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    ceg741 HB User
    Re: Social Anxiety - Anyone feel so "Out of Place"

    I too get socially anxious and it can really make certain situations hard as it is so embarassing as well as scary.I at this time cannot go shopping alone,i get to the checkout and my hands shake,i feel like everyone is looking at me in a negative way and i just want to leave.I have even uses alcohol before training courses at work because i feel so nervous.Sometimes i cannot write infront of people as my hands are shaking so much,i dont like eating infront of strangers or lots of people because i will shake so much or choke.I dread big social events and play it up in my mind before hand and wonder what people will think of me.I feel so stupid.
    I remember going to a client for work,her daughter and son in law were visiting,i literally shook from head to foot and im sure they saw,i was so upset afterwards and felt so stupid.
    I feel you have to take baby steps with this condition.I dont feel i can give much advice as i am suffering with this badly,i feel i need some advice myself.
    One thing i will say is confront your fears.
    Bless you and good luck.

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