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  • difference between Anxiety and Depression?



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    Old 03-13-2009, 06:12 AM   #1
    linweid
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    difference between Anxiety and Depression?

    Is there a difference between Anxiety and Depression? My Dr. tells me repeatedly that I have anxiety, and has me on an antidepressant which she increased several times. She tried other antidepressants but they affected my sex life and I kept going back to the original one. I got suicidal one time several years ago and hope to never ever have that feeling again.

    My main problem is my adult son was was an alcoholic (and God knows what else) since he was 16. I stopped seeing him 2 years ago because I just can't handle it anymore. he is exactly the same as my dad who really screwed up the four of us kids growing up. I get upset when someone says I should go to for help. Been there, done that millions of times in the past 30 years. I never want to attempt to cope with HIS alcohol problem again by joining some dumb group, I have better things to do.

    Linda

     
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    Old 03-13-2009, 06:45 AM   #2
    Aletam
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    Re: difference between Anxiety and Depression?

    you know this is a lot to handle, i to had to deal with my father being an alcoholic my whole life and it is NOT easy! i am only 19 years old but you know i look back at my childhood and i have no memories of my dad sober. it is hard too because now my da has congestive heart failure, diabetes, and recently found out that only 24% of his kidneys are working. so in other words my dad killed himself from drinking, there is nothing that the doctors will be able to do he is too unhealthy for the things that could be done. i could not imagine if my son grew up to be the same way, so although i do not know how <YOU>feel i can only imagie.

    that being said maybe you do have issues with your son and it is hard for you to know that you hae not seen him and maybe you feel guilty. butim sure you know there is nothing that you can do...he has to do decide these things on his own. my dad took someone telling him he would not be able to live another year without quitting drinking, he will have to do it on his own. i do not blame you for not seeinghim because i am sure you have already told him how you feel and everything like that. although you are not seeing him and you feel like that is te problem i know you are stil upset about it and that is probably the biggest thing that stresses you out. and it is true you will probably continue to have this anxiety. you are probably both depressed and have anxiey, they usually go hand in hand. i too had depression issues along with my anxiety issues. and i do believe that the issues dealing with my dad helped me to become the way i am. i am so sorry to hear about what you are going through but the best way for you to be able to deal with things are by talking to someone it sounds like your friends arent very supportive. do you have a therapist? that will probably help you greatly! not only that but just talking about it, you cant keep it inside of you forever you have tell someone how you relly feel, i have started to do that and it helps immensely ihope it can help you as much as it helps me!

    Last edited by ms_mod; 03-13-2009 at 08:09 AM. Reason: Removed unnecessary quote. Ms_Mod

     
    Old 03-13-2009, 07:37 AM   #3
    linweid
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    Re: difference between Anxiety and Depression?

    You are very kind and caring for 19 years old. My grandaughter is 18 now and she is like that too. I miss her so much now that my husband and I never go to their house. She's busy checking out colleges anyway. I'm sorry to hear about your dad, what he must be going through. it must be a mixed bag of feelings for you. I was spared that when my dad fell over dead at age 47 of a sudden massive heart attack. David was only 12 at that time and already was into every substance he could get his hands on. I know my husband and I are doing what's right for us by staying away, not that we had a choice, our son never wants to see us again. That's because of an episode last xmas when his long lost son from a first marriage met with me. But before that, we had been thrown out of our son's house whenever he started drinking. and his adult brother and family were thrown out too. I don't want it resolved, I never got along with my son. I know that sounds dumb but the last few years I have been telling my husband if I have to see my dad through my son for one more day, I want to die. I'm better off this way, except for the health issues i have from it.

     
    Old 03-13-2009, 08:34 AM   #4
    Aletam
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    Re: difference between Anxiety and Depression?

    i am glad that you know that you are better off with out that relationship, sometimes you cannot save relationships you must just move on no matter who they are with parents, children, spouses....it is very hard when it is your child though i think more parents need to be able to know when enough is enough, if he does not want to help himself there is nothing you can do and the only thing trying to help him would do is just make things hard for you so i am glas that you have come to that conclusion. i do think you should get some sort of counseling tough i mean there is only so much that just talking about it can do. you obviously are depressed by what is going on because he is your son and you love him and not only that but you say you have grandchildren so you can relate to what they may be going through and that makes it hurt too. it is so hard when someone you love is dong this to themselves and there is nothing that you can do to help them anymore. even for your grandchildren. do you have health anxiety or just anxiety. i mean i kno for me it is coming out as health anxiety and i have kind of thought that it is because my dad doesnt really do much to keep his health in order and i do everything i can to make sure nothing is going wrong with mine because it is something i can control. it is amazing what we can be forced to suffer through because of our childhood. i know what made mine eve worse was when i needed my parents the most, i was 11 and just getting ready to go into puberty, my dad was drunk all the time and i caught my mom having an affair on him. i felt like i had nobody to go to at that pont. my dad was devastated and wanted nothing more than to be home but had he just quit drinking he and my mom would still be together, they are still in love with each other. i was so mad at mom for doing that to me that i just HATED her from then until i had my own child. i kept everything inside i never wanted to tell anyone what was going on with me because i already had something against me to fit in with people at school, my family didnt have as much money as everyone else so i just wanted to fit in. nobody ever knew what happened except for my closest friend who has stood by me through everything. as i grew older i can see the relationship was not healthy for my mom and not defending her but had she not done what she had done she probably wold have been unhealthy her whole life. se still has depression issues to this day and i believe that probably caused that. it is just so hard to see someone you love not be able to help themselves. it is just so hard and it is even harder when there is nobody that can relate....this site has helped so much t see that i am not alone! please just find somebody that can help you, maybe then you can help your grandchildren. just because you do not have a relationship with your sone does not mean that you can not have a relationship with your grandchildren, in fact they probably need you! that is who helped me get through what i needed to even though they dont even know that! they were always there and always constant there was no change. you have something to offer your grandshildren as well, you know what they are going through so there is somthing there that can help both of you out!

     
    Old 03-13-2009, 04:16 PM   #5
    catheryn
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    Re: difference between Anxiety and Depression?

    I've often wondered myself if there was any difference between anxiety and depression. When I was initially put on ADs I was under the assumption I had depression: come to find out 6 years later (after actually going to see a decent psychologist/psychiatrist team) that my problem is in fact anxiety. I think the two can get confused often because it's easy to fall into depression when you have anxiety and it's easy to become anxious if you are depressed.

    From your post, I can see that your treatment (therapy) has been based on your son's problem. Well, it's nice to focus on how our environment is affecting us, but in the end, the focus of your therapy should be you! I have problems with a psychologically abusive father, and while my therapy sessions have touched on that, the main focus is me and how it's affecting me. I think it's obvious his problem is having an effect on you, and if you do ever choose to get help again, the help should be focused on you and not your son's problems! My last psychologist told me that you can't change or be responsible for those around you, so you have to work on yourself and work on ways you can change your behaviour/coping skills to deal with the things you cannot change.

    You may have both depression and anxiety from the sounds of it (anxiety from your experience with your father which your son's alcoholism has brought back up to the surface for you) and depression over these situations. Often times, they go hand in hand.

     
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