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  • Anxiety/Fear Of Dying. Please Help.

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    Old 03-26-2009, 07:23 AM   #1
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    jennalynn52 HB User
    Anxiety/Fear Of Dying. Please Help.

    Hi i am 20 years old, and i have really bad anxiety, for the past couple of weeks, ive been scared to death about dying, it wont go away, it just keeps coming back in my mind, and its keeping me from living my life. Im so scared of dying...Can anyone out there <PLEASE>give me some advice on what to do, i already have a counsler, and i already got my buspar raised to 30mgs, i just dont know how to deal with DEATH, i know we are all gonna die someday, i just cant deal with the facts of being in the ground and not knowing whats going on out there, or if the world is gonna blow up, and stuff like that, im really really scared some one <PLEASE> help me...i dont know what to do

    Last edited by ms_mod; 03-26-2009 at 10:53 AM. Reason: As per the posting rules, always use whole, real words in your posts. Ms_Mod

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    Old 03-27-2009, 09:16 AM   #2
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    tulum HB Usertulum HB User
    Re: Anxiety/Fear Of Dying. Please Help.

    I can completely relate to you since I am going through the same thing although I am 35.

    However, I went through this same thing 4 years ago also and conquered it then and felt amazing after it went away.

    It only returned 6 months ago because my husband's progressive abuse recently which led to him punching me in the face with such force taking away my sense of safety, security etc and now I am left with nothing since I am separated from him. Otherwise I would have been having a tremendous life if this did not happen 6 months ago.

    I am struggling to reclaim my life back although it is tough since I am in the middle of a custody battle and stressful legal procedures etc.

    Anyway, I believe I can provide you with some comfort based on my past experience 4 years ago.

    I know this is an INCREDIBLY difficult time for you. It will be tough initially to start healing and taking actions toward getting better but it will be worth it.

    However, once you overcome this fear then you will feel so free and fearless and confident and you will be enjoying your life to the fullest without fear. You may even be thankful you went through this.

    Of course, medication and therapy will benefit by calming you down somewhat and letting out your emotions but unfortunately these are just aids to help you slightly- the rest is up to you.

    A few comforting things to think about:

    You are still very young and have your whole life ahead of you.

    A majority of people live to an old age.

    A relatively small percentage of people die from freak accidents like car crashes, plane crashes, natural disasters, drowning etc.

    Health problems normally do not appear before the age of 50 if at all.

    Most women develop heart problems around the age of 50 if at all.

    Look around. There are many people you see that are the obvious definition of POOR HEALTH (some their whole lives)- habits, circumstances, body weight, junk eaters etc BUT they ARE STILL ALIVE, right? And many of them are much OLDER than you! And yet they are stil surviving.

    Unless you fit those categories (and even that would seem not to matter), whose to say that you will also not live a long time? Why would they be more likely to and not you?

    Eating well, exercising, staying active, staying positive, surrounding yourself with quality people, engaging in meaningful activities helps prolong life.

    Family health history is usually a good indicator of life span.

    90% of what we worry about seldom happens if at all.

    Things are not as bad or horrible as we IMAGINE them to be.

    Our fears are merely our thoughts and feelings about something imagined not reality.

    We have no way of knowing how we will react in any given situation until it occurs.

    We are given strength to handle situations no matter how awful in the moment they happen. People who go through horrible events do not have time to think about what is happening right then. They are in survival mode and are focused and react to what needs to be done to survive in the moment.

    Yes, afterwards because of their THOUGHTS and FEELINGS they create fear looking back on the event and develop PTSD etc. but when they are experiencing the event, it is not as bad.

    When the body is weak the mind is strong. When the mind is weak, the body is strong. They do not fail us at the same time.

    Now, do you want to live the rest of your life every single day worrying about things that may never happen? Yes SOMETHING will happen but what if you die at the age of 100 in your sleep peacefully? Isn't that a possibility?

    Is it really worth worrying about ALL your life especially at the age of 20??
    The majority of people around you are not feeling the way you do or worrying so why should YOU, right? I mean even THEY will have to face their death sometime, right so why does it not bother them?

    You have to face death ONCE. ONE day. Why spend all your moments worrying about that ONE moment? You only have ONE life. That's it. You will never be you again so LIVE! Acceptance is very important, VERY TOUGH but important.

    Do things you enjoy. Pretend that every day is your last day- do you want to waste it away worrying about the inevitable which we can do nothing about or would you rather enjoy it. Say, ok, tomorrow may be my last day, what do I want to do today?

    There is something in your life about you or your life that you are not satisfied with. Take steps to change it.

    So true what they say, feel the fear and do it anyway. (That's what I did and it sucked but it definitely worked).

    Distract yourself and keep busy. Don't let your mind be idle. Do not research things on the computer. Do not dwell on your problem. Do not seek others advice, lean on others as little as possible. Do not focus on trying to get rid of your fear because these things actually feed your fear and make it worse.

    Accept that the fear is there but do not give it importance.

    Take an "ok, I know I will die eventually but let me just enjoy this moment. I will deal with it when it happens." Or, "ok, I might die now but so what I am going to enjoy this moment right now no matter what."

    (Nothing will happen anyway since it is all part of your anxiety. The only thing that will happen is that you will gain self-confidence, become self-sufficient, change your life for the better, become fearless etc.

    Death is inevitable, it will happen so the only choice we have is to fully live each moment.

    Eventually you will retrain your mind to be more calm and see things in a better perspective and enjoy life fully by doing the things mentioned above. It will not be easy at all but it is worth it and it works. You will then feel incredibly good, it's indescribable how amazingly free, confident, fearless, and daring you become. You will even look back on this time and think it was silly the way you felt.

    I can understand how you might be feeling so I just tried to relate what I have learned through the years. Sorry so long but I hope it helped at all, even a little bit.

    Take care of yourself and all the best.

    Last edited by tulum; 03-27-2009 at 09:18 AM.

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    Old 03-27-2009, 11:49 AM   #3
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    Aletam HB User
    Re: Anxiety/Fear Of Dying. Please Help.

    i can relate to what you are saying because i am currently going throught the same thing....that other post kind of freaked me out but maybe it hsould hardest thing is letting go of the worries because inmy mind i think things happen to people because they are not paying close enough attention to is weir d i know but i cannot get over that......i have overcome the anxiety just by talking to people and sometimes we do need to talk to people but sometimes like tulum said we need to try to rely on ourselves....we are weak right now and we need to learn how to be is hard and it will be a hard fight but you can manage and there are plenty of poeple rooting for you to do good!

    Old 03-27-2009, 11:24 PM   #4
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    Lourage HB User
    Re: Anxiety/Fear Of Dying. Please Help.

    Well, we are all going to die, I'm always worrying about what will kill me, what disease, sickness, you name it. I waste all my time with my anxiety worrying about what will do me in. but the more i think about it, will i care when i'm actually dead? like what killed me? NO so why do we worry about it 24/7 while we are alive? i know its scary to think about, but worrying about it will only speed up the process from stress.

    Old 03-28-2009, 06:46 AM   #5
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    jennalynn52 HB User
    Re: Anxiety/Fear Of Dying. Please Help.

    Thanks to everyone who responded to my post. i really really appreciate this, tutum your right, everything you said to me, is exactly true, i just need to learn to be strong, accept the fact that it is going to happen, and live my life to the fullest, i only have one life to live, i might as well live it to the fullest, i have so much confidence in myself, i know in my heart i will beat this!

    This all happened over..."heart flutters" if i didnt have heart flutters i dont think i would be in this position, but sometimes i sit and i this would have never happened i would never have looked at life in any better way, i wake up every morning happy that i am still here, i know im very young, and i know i have a long road ahead of me, i just wish we all had super powers. I wish i could stop time, at that very moment where everything makes sence and every one is happy as can be, and as far as vampires...they never

    But thanks again i truely do appreciate this, and i wish all the best to you people....if any one else has any more advise <PLEASE> let me know. every person's advise really does help me.

    Last edited by ms_mod; 03-28-2009 at 08:00 AM. Reason: Once again, as per the posting rules always use whole, real words in your posts. Ms_Mod

    Old 03-29-2009, 06:54 AM   #6
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    jennalynn52 HB User
    Re: Anxiety/Fear Of Dying. Please Help.

    Does anyone else have anymore information they can give me about this?

    Old 03-29-2009, 09:13 PM   #7
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    Lourage HB User
    Re: Anxiety/Fear Of Dying. Please Help.

    Stop thinking about it! I know easier said then done. But you need to stop thinking about it before it takes over your life.

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