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so worried about my daughter in law

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Old 02-09-2010, 10:55 AM   #1
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Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Marl NH USA
Posts: 128
Kaseyjcf HB User
so worried about my daughter in law

Hi, I am very worried about my daughter in law. She is having alot of anxiety. She has a job in a school lunch room and is being bullied on a daily basis. My son and her really need the money (where he works had cutbacks in hours and wage freezes) and job is perfect for her because she only has to work when the kids are in school. The biggest problem I see is her supervisor is a family member. I think this is the problem. I think the family member is harder on her because she is family. My daughter in law told me last night she is making lots of little mistakes because she is so worried about making mistakes and being yelled at. By the way, the supervisor/family member yells at the other two people who work there too. She gets angry over the most minor things you can imagine. My daughter in law has gone to the head of the food service program twice in the last 2 years about this and for a little while things are pretty good. Then after a few weeks to a month, it goes right back to the same tirades. She told me that the family member even brings her children and husband into it, which to me is a big no-no. Keep your criticism on the work problems, and keep family and anything else out of it. My DIL has tried to get a transfer somewhere else in the school district but there are no job openings right now. The economy is this area is real bad, there are just no jobs. She is afraid she is going to fall apart one of these days and just walk out in tears. I wish I knew some advice or strategies I could tell her about to help her cope with all the anxiety and stress she is going through. This is causing alot of stress for the rest of us family members as well as none of us wants to take sides. I would be real grateful to any feedback anyone might have. I am losing alot of sleep over this myself. Kasey

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Old 02-09-2010, 12:07 PM   #2
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 509
friendsville HB User
Re: so worried about my daughter in law

Please let me tell you what I do in cases such as the one you mentioned.I treat every one who bothers me,as if they were five years old.I would never treat any
one, that age, in a disrespectful manner. I would smile and say back to them, something innocent ,that would not disturb them. Something like "thank you",or even a nice smile.Isn't that how you would treat a child,who spoke "out of turn"? One other way, is to never pay attention to other people's words,(if words are nasty).
People's words are nothing but people's thoughts,and cannot be controlled by you.
These words are not their feelings,which are something that you may have some influence over.Worry about their feelings later.Now, you are dealing with their words/
thoughts which are out of your control. The 5 year old caper is my thought; the rest is from a former negotiater in the middle-east. This stuff is good for any and all, who are bullied in any way.It sure worked on my lovely first born,after many long years
of combat. Good luck,Bill

Last edited by friendsville; 02-09-2010 at 12:11 PM.

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