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Husband's Job Loss causing me severe anxiety

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Old 09-09-2010, 06:52 PM   #1
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Question Husband's Job Loss causing me severe anxiety

My husband lost his job approximately a year ago after 30 years with the same company. 6 months ago he began a contract position, but it is due to end in March of 2011. He has applied for any jobs he has seen for which he'd be qualified, but most of the time he hears nothing back. He has been on a few interviews - but still nothing. I work fulltime but my salary is not enough to support us. I have longstanding anxiety problems, don't always take medication, only when something is going on in my life that raises the anxiety. I'm not on anything now, but maybe I should be. I'm sure from my husband's perspective, my anxiety looks like nagging, negativity, grouchiness, etc. It's all because of my intense need for stability - I've lost that and I am frantic to get it back. I constantly ask him questions about his job search and I think it drives him nuts. I feel like I have to know every little aspect of what he's doing to find a job. Even when I promise myself I won't ask him anything today, I still wind up asking him anyway. Our marriage is definitely suffering. He could use a calm, positive, supportive person right now. I feel like I am more worried about how this situation is affecting me than how it is affecting him. Can anyone relate to this? What should I do?

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Old 09-09-2010, 09:54 PM   #2
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Re: Husband's Job Loss causing me severe anxiety

Have a sit down talk with him. You need to tell him what's going on with you and he needs to know everything. That's where he comes in as a husband and does his part. He should figure out a way to comfort you a little bit and through that comfort you should be able to motivate yourself enough to be supportive of him in his rough time.

Last edited by ms_mod; 09-10-2010 at 05:50 AM. Reason: Removed unnecessary quote. Ms_Mod

Old 09-10-2010, 08:00 AM   #3
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SadComputerGuy HB UserSadComputerGuy HB UserSadComputerGuy HB UserSadComputerGuy HB UserSadComputerGuy HB User
Re: Husband's Job Loss causing me severe anxiety

First of all I am sorry to hear that your husband lost his job, that is very hard and like you I need stability. I was laid off 2 weeks after our 3rd child was born. It was like a hit in the face at the time and also completely surreal. I still remember being on the phone and hearing them say "You know the economy is bad and we have had to make some tough choices". Unfortunately way too many people can relate to what you both are going through, with unemployment topping 10% in some places (or 20% in parts of Europe).

Did your husband go down to the unemployment office? That was the first thing I did after being fired. It isn't a charity that is exactly what it is designed for, and our tax dollars (plus the employer) fund this. It isn't much but it helps to get some money coming in. Then the next thing is to start networking. It really is true that the best way to get a job is through friends/contacts. Ask your husband to get on LinkedIn. Sign up for job message boards. I managed to find a new job in 1 week using these methods. Granted i got REALLY lucky but it is possible. Somebody somewhere is hiring, and all it takes is a person currently at that company that you guys know to put in a good word and your husband's resume gets to the top of the pile.

I would guess that your husband feels horrible and is very worried about the future, but probably doesn't want you to know or worry. That is how I was with my wife, internally i was a wreck. I had panic/anxiety attacks that took my breath away. Good luck to you both and I know good things are coming!

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Old 09-10-2010, 10:35 AM   #4
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Re: Husband's Job Loss causing me severe anxiety

Are you willing to locate? I live in Omaha, NE. Unemployment is low. I had to quit my job for this TKR surgery on 9/13. Be thankful he can land on his feet. That contract job is a blessing. He can update his contacts. It's awfull early to get worried. You know what his skill set is. So, is there anything preventing you from doing research for him. I know my wife is sweating my getting back to work. You and he are not alone. My extended family is going throught the samething. Good luck and don't dispair, get in there and help.

Old 09-10-2010, 11:04 AM   #5
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Re: Husband's Job Loss causing me severe anxiety

Hi. I don't have any advise, although I am on medication and am seeing a therapist (have been since before my husband's job ended), but his job ended two weeks ago. He has gone to the unemployment office and is in the process of applying for unemployment. He also has contacted a staffing agency to see about possible jobs and checks for possible regular job openings daily. It is a difficult position for anyone, especially those of us with anxiety who like our stability. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. Hang in there, it's tough, but we will get through it. I would definitely advise him to go to the unemployment office and see if he is elligible for benefits.

Old 09-17-2010, 02:19 AM   #6
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Re: Husband's Job Loss causing me severe anxiety

sorry to hear that.
May i ask a question, you, do you work?
If you work, if you didn't borrow money, things will be fine very soon i think.

I m from west Europe, in the cities we have this part time job agencies.
i think they are American companies Manpower, addeco and so on.
very efficient. you work two weeks their, three week in another company, and after a few missions you find a company that you like. And they hire you one day.

I was 18 years old, i found a work within one week with this agencies.
The adults in my neighboorhood were keeping saying their is no work any more. I found one within one week.

Last edited by leopard777; 09-17-2010 at 02:22 AM.

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