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-   -   anxiety ruining a perfect relationship... (https://www.healthboards.com/boards/anxiety/897721-anxiety-ruining-perfect-relationship.html)

sod166 05-06-2012 11:25 AM

Re: anxiety ruining a perfect relationship...
 
I'm really sorry to hear that you are struggling with this... have you had anxiety before this relationship or has it just started? And did you try anything else other than Lexapro? Have you talked to him in the last couple of weeks? I live with my boyfriend, we have been dating for 2 1/2 years and we live together so I struggle with it in front of him, he has been very supportive and knows how I feel. Have you tried talking to your guy, Anxiousgrl35? Does he know that you struggle with anxiety?

I know I struggle with "wanting to just end the relatonship" but than I ask myself would I feel better afterwards? Is this really what I want? I know I won't so I try to push through the upset, angry, frustrated phase and try to think of the good things in your relationship. Someone once told me that people with anxiety want the quick fix, whether its really whats best for us or not? I'm not sure if this will help or not but I would say to go and talk to someone about how you have been feeling, they might be able to help you figure out why its started. I hope this helps and good luck!

bigdunc81 05-07-2012 04:20 AM

Re: anxiety ruining a perfect relationship...
 
Yeah,apparently thats half the problem,that anxious people just want the quick fix and arent willing to remain patient enough to ride the storm and realise that its just bad thoughts and we are paying too much attention to them.i can see how this is so but ive been suffering for 2 and a half years now and i think ive been relatively patient.i just cant help wondering if ive improved at all and that brings a whole influx of the wave of worry again.its a vicious circle.......

Michellesflyy 05-21-2012 02:57 PM

Re: anxiety ruining a perfect relationship...
 
I thought I was alone on this one. Lately I have been having bad panic attacks which make me not want to be near my boyfriend or with him. I was taken off Zoloft, which now I am put back on cause I had thoughts of wanting to hurt him and myself. I love him so much and sometimes I still think maybe we should break up it would be better but I don't want to. I feel like my mind is taking over.. I don't know what to do.

PGphmtt75 05-22-2012 09:17 AM

Re: anxiety ruining a perfect relationship...
 
I can totally relate to you. I went through the same thing with my wife for a while and it snowballed pretty bad in 2009. i finally went to see someone and was put on Lexapro, but that seemed to make it worse, I had the worst insomnia with that and quickly stopped. I switched to Zoloft and that worked well, much much better, no side effects like that. I had the same exact worries and it was awful! I can't going around and around in circles in my head, I couldn't find anything wrong with her but I was still feeling that way so I thought something must be wrong and it kept snowballing and snowballing. I seemed to break through the clouds by the Spring/Summer of 2010 and was feeling great. It felt so great just to be able to hug her and relax and feel calm and wonderful finally and totally feel the love i knew was always there. those are the times i have to remind myself of whenever anxiety and worry start to creep in again and they do from time to time but i try to fight it off better now. although right now i'm going through a bout that's seeming to linger a little more and turning into some OCD stuff that i've never really had before. but i think OCD and anxiety are related so hopefully it'll eventually go away and i can get back to normal again. I eventually got off Zoloft and have been pretty good for a while now except for this latest episode. If it continues I may consider going back on it. It's very frustrating but we are not alone so i guess that's good at least!

gasproblem 05-22-2012 03:17 PM

Re: anxiety ruining a perfect relationship...
 
Hi Michelle - I am so sorry to hear about your anxiety. I used to suffer from that all the time too and hence my username lead to IBS and other embarrassing symptoms! However, I have found so many things to combat that. Is it only when you are near your boyfriend or do you feel that other things affect it too - such as your job, money, etc? Diet plays a huge role in this as well.

Michellesflyy 05-23-2012 11:10 AM

Re: anxiety ruining a perfect relationship...
 
Yea when I get anxiety I don't like to be around anyone. I've quit multiple jobs due to anxiety attacks and it's really bad. I can't hold a job or anything.

sod166 05-29-2012 11:25 AM

Re: anxiety ruining a perfect relationship...
 
Hey Bigdunc81, I just wanted to check to see how you are doing and how things are going with you? I hope things are getting better and that you are starting to feel like you are able to sort things out.

RobMBA 05-29-2012 12:12 PM

Re: anxiety ruining a perfect relationship...
 
I hope that each of you is able to find the inner peace you seak and are able to save your relationships. I for one have been on and off Lexapro three times over the past five years, and I am still not sure whether or not it actually helped. My wife and I will have been married 17 years early next month, yet we still have terrible arguments because for some reason just the sound of her voice at times sends my anxiety through the roof.

What sucks is that she is and has always been my biggest fan and has sacrificed a lot for our family. I always feel bad after we hav argued, because all she wants is what is best for me, yet I seem to hate her kindness and love.

I have dealt with it by telling myself over and over that it is not her fault, but mine for feeling so insecure that I cannot accept her love and support. There are days when all I want to do is run away, but luckily I have not.

I wish I had "the" answer, but all I can offer is the advice to just keep working on getting past it.


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