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Am I failure for having to take anxiety medication? (Im 22)

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Old 07-20-2012, 08:17 PM   #1
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Valencia, California, USA
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Norma1212 HB User
Unhappy Am I failure for having to take anxiety medication? (Im 22)

Im a 22 yr old female with an extremely dysfunctional family. 2.5 years ago I would never have imagine i would have to take anxiety medication. I was away from my family in college and loving life to the fullest. Unfortunately I moved back home about 2 years ago, and since then my mental stability has been pushed to the limit. Let me explain: I have a uninvolved/neglectful mother who has bipolar disorder and anxiety disorder. But swears everyone is crazy but her.Then I have an 27 old brother who is schizophrenic; everything out of his mouth is strange or abnormal. At the beginning of this year he thought the Devil was making him write things. *sigh* He isn't violent, he does take his meds, but i guess with that condition they can only do so much. Then there is my dad, great guy but he is slowly starting to shut down on me. He retreats to his room because he doesn't like dealing with the "crazy house". When i go to his job he is extremely well liked and pretty popular. But i know being around my brother and mom has to bring him to some level of mild depression, so he goes to his room. Then there is me. I've always prided (I know that sounds bad, )myself on not having any type of condition like my brother and mom and going more of my dads route. But i am literally burnt out...... My house is super depressing, i have no friends but i am a extremely social person. So my social support that might have gotten me through the rough spots with my family was non existent. Around May, I started to have panic attacks, just filled with worry, anxiety. Since then it has gotten worse. Its gotten to the point that i don't like to go out because im afraid of having one in public. Which issss so not me!! I love going places and doing things I know this is long but i just have to ask...

is what im going through a legit reason to have anxiety and need to be on medication... Ive tried everything, natural remedies, teas, yoga, and nothing works. Im tired of this controlling my life. I know a lot of people are against medication and i definitely am too. But what is the quality of my life? Its a friday night, and I am doing absolutely nothing.. What do you all think? Please share advice, personal stories, anything!!!

Also having this makes me have empathy and sympathy

Last edited by Norma1212; 07-20-2012 at 08:24 PM.

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Old 07-21-2012, 05:29 PM   #2
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Re: Am I failure for having to take anxiety medication? (Im 22)

Norma, I am really sorry for all you are going through. Have you ever sat down with your dad aand explain to him how you feel that he is shutting down on you and you need him? I think you should.
I grew up as an anxious child due to abuse and it continued into adulthood. I had a Nervous breakdown at 30 and developed Panic disorder. I was on a small dose of meds and I kept cutting it down as I felt embarrassed taking it. The anxiety and panic did not go away.

I lived miserably for 5 years until I saw a specialist in anxiety and panic disorder. He explained to me that I should not feel any stigma as it would be the same if I had diabetes and had to take meds for it. I started on a dose that could keep away the symptoms. My quality of life greatly improved. So no, you won't be a failure if you take something. You will only get worst if you don't. Try to see a psychologist who can also provide you with therapy and whatever you take work with your doctor so that after your anxiety has settled he can help you to wean off it

Hope you feel better soon.

Old 07-21-2012, 07:18 PM   #3
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Re: Am I failure for having to take anxiety medication? (Im 22)

If you were getting allergy-like illness from your environment, wouldn't you take medication? It is the same. You would probably also leave and live somewhere more healthy. Is there any chance of you moving far away and just dealing with them at a distance? The previous poster was right about talking to your father, catch him outside the house at his lunch break for example. You may have to leave for your own health. Sera

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