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Anxiousgrl35 08-01-2012 03:10 PM

Here we go again!
I made it about two months, and it's back. HUGE letdown after I was offered a job and the guy hasent called, and wont even return any of my calls..thinking this is whats going on with me to start this up. About a week now I guess...started with throat tightness, and it drives me nuts, this happened in may too, and it lasted a long time. Ear popping, or some kind of weird noise. ...and then I went downhill!! Today I've been having just waves of panic all day..not so bad and then just terrible! I find myself spacing out and thinking morbid thoughts. So it was my throat, and then i got moveing, did some chores, took a bath, and my mind calmed down (distraction) and thats good BUT I then got the foggy head feeling..... just so foggy and lightheaded, and a heavy body feeling. My eyes seem slow, and hard to focus. anyone get that? Terrible...
(Only on Xanax when needed, and yes I need now, but havent taken.....yet)
went to the gas station, and thought I'd collapse at counter, and then RAN the heck out of there....calmed down the second i was on my porch.
I feel sick.....throat, and just run down, but i know im not because as soon as i take a xanax tonight...most of this will go away. It's CRAZY how my throat really hurts, and then will just stop...

NatePanda 08-02-2012 10:36 AM

Re: Here we go again!

what could you say are your anxiety symptoms? List them? x

Anxiousgrl35 08-02-2012 11:28 AM

Re: Here we go again!
Hey Natepanda..

They differ daily, and i have some kind of symptom going 90% of the time. Here goes... :)...

-Nervous over nothing...everyday.
-Sore throat/tightness/dry (This is a newer one for me) Goes away when im up and moving and doing alot.
- Lightheaded
- Short of breath
- fast heartbeat, not too bad, im so used to it. 80-130 quite a bit.
- hot flashes...feel a pause like feeling, sometimes with a skipped heartbeat, and then a rush of heat through whole body. (Dr says the skipped beats that happen sometimes are because im 35, and it's hormones)
-shaking and trembling, my legs. Mostly in public places, or places where i used to have panic attacks like the bathroom.
-When im having a severe bout of anxiety, my mind wont stop with bad thoughts like stroke, blood clots, cancer, heart very health concerned most of the time which is what brings on these attacks. I feel every sensation in my body!
- extreme weakness, and thinking im going to pass out
- a heavy body feeling when im walking or standing...heavy chest.
-some ear popping, this is new and i havent had much. When i get used to the symptoms, something new always appears.

OK.... I've had all the tests. I've had P.D/G.A.D. since 35 now. I was on Lexapro for a few years... gained so so much weight.. it did help, BUT i had no life for those years, i remember nothing at all actually. Went off of that, no problems, and stayed on Xanax when needed until 3/11 WHEN i got a job i loved and met a man who somehow helped change me....weaned off the Xanax and was off for a year. I'm back on it...things have been very tough..death in family, loss of work again, so on and blah blah, and am struggling again. So, i have had all the tests and i am healthy....
Except I am a smoker. VERY BAD! Trying to quit, but very difficult when im an anxious wreck, and i DO know smoking makes things worse... so alot of my symptoms i do think are smoke related....the coughs, hard to breath, colds and broncitis more often than if i didnt smoke. I've been to the er so many times and everything is fine. The only thing i havent had is a stress test.

The worst is the lightheaded, foggy brained, strange dizzy eyes, and shaking. I've babbled on :)
(Blood sugar normal, blood pressure normal, oxygen normal) and as i said before.... mostly everything goes away when I take a xanax.
One more thing.... it gets VERY bad about a week and a half before period...(wont get on pill since i smoke)

NatePanda 08-02-2012 01:12 PM

Re: Here we go again!
Hiya, I'm 23, I've suffered with anxiety since I was around 18, stress seems to set mine off. I feel perhaps you're stressed right now, you mentioned a death in the family? How long ago was this and were you close to the person, death really affects us and for some people (like anxiety suffers) it can knock you completely out of it.

The throat thing is like my symptom, my throat constricts and creates a flemmy lump which I gag on, my peak point in a panic attack is to heave. Doing something takes my mind off it, if I'm very busy at work then I rarely think of it, if it's dead, I'm panicy.

I recognise a lot of what you've said from when i was really bad. How are you dealing with it right now?

Anxiousgrl35 08-03-2012 06:45 PM

Re: Here we go again!
I'm honestly not dealing well right trying but now im sick again. Infected throat...AGAIN. Every few months. I KNOW its just a throat still terrified. the dr gave me some weird antibiotic ive never heard of and the first line is a WARNING. I saw that and said "nope!!" I just cant get myself to take it, im soooo scared right now. Another embarrasing ER visit...fever and infection. Sigh...its just never ending.

justiceandtruth 08-04-2012 08:46 AM

Re: Here we go again!
I just wanted to thank you for sharing your story, even though you're going through a really hard time right now. I can't begin to tell you how helpful it's been to read other peoples' experiences, including yours. It takes a lot of strength to share.

I've been out of work on medical leave for about a week, and during that time, my panic and anxiety symptoms have home back with a vengeance, after a 10-year hiatus. I know how scary and upsetting it is.

How are you feeling today?

Anxiousgrl35 08-06-2012 09:23 AM

Re: Here we go again!
Being out of work is just so hard, and when im busy and alot is going on i tend to do pretty well. But after a big event, or events, or a disapointment, or getting sick is when i start having major troubles.
My panic/anxiety has caused issues with my fault, because the last time my throat was infected, instead of taking what they gave me (Z-pack/azitromycin) I chickened out and took some older anoxicillian i had , and i didnt finish the course of treatment. I really did not know that not taking the full course might bring back my infection, BUT NOW I know what ive done. When i was in the ER they asked if i took the last course, i said yes, so this time i was perscribed a very strong medicine that is normally given to people who have resistance to other antibiotics. They kept asking me if i have MRSA....i didnt know what that was...anyway. I was very wrong to lie, not take stuff properly, and so on.. I am now taking the full course of azitromycin as i was told to do last time i went in. I cant stand being on it, but i need to be, and i wont mess around anymore. It's really a problem when anxiety controls your life to a point like this...i didnt have to keep getting sick the way i have been. Now im hurting, and the mental pain of taking a pill is the worse of it..the side effects on the first day were nothing compared to what my mind is saying to me. oh well, just took my second dose. Basically all i want to do is sleep lately.....blah!

NatePanda 08-06-2012 09:41 AM

Re: Here we go again!
A tip to make antibiotics better for you (e.g so they don't cause damage) is to take probiotics, I took antibiotics for 3 weeks in a row to clear a horrible cough that put my in hospital on boxing day a year and a half ago. The worse thing that happened to me for taking that much was I got thrush, I wasn't advised to take probiotics but have been told since it would of helped prevent it.

I'm up and down most of the time, I get to points where I just don't want to be ill anymore and feel stuck/trapped. My boyfriend says I must not think like that but he's never had to experience the feeling of being physically unwell for months on end topped with anxiety. I'm not a positive person but I'm strong, e.g I don't give in easily.

Could you afford some therapy? I'm waiting to be referred atm, I've had it before and it helped me get well for 6 or more months, almost a year actually and stress and a job with people I don't like has set me back to when I first started suffering with it (4-5 years ago).

Anxiousgrl35 08-07-2012 10:42 AM

Re: Here we go again!
hey :) No, i couldnt afford therapy right now, and i know it would really help me. Yeah, i heard the probiotics help, but im now off of the Arithomycin. Just got back from the bp is low and i have a sore in my mouth, and i just was not tolerating it at ALL yesterday....such a nightmare. I was surprised when she said STOP taking it, she just said it so easy...i was like umm... and whats going to happen when my infection comes back worse? She said my throat looked alot better, and maybe its viral. OK. I dont know what to think, but i do know yesterday was HELL..pounding heart, dizziness,slight rash on neck and chest...the panic when i saw the sore on my tounge...etc. It's so hard when you dont know if you are having an anxiety attack or its the meds you are on. Luckily i had slight stomach issues but that was it, no bathroom problems. Anyway...
My lab work came back and she said my D and B vits are way below the minimum amount, so ill be starting some supplements. I'm also starting Prozac...never tried that before. ...and i will be taking my xanax while i get going. I've been denying myself xanax quite bit but im really going to start taking it when i need too... because 1/2-1 at night isnt cutting it. I'm doing well today... probably because im excited to be getting on long term meds and because i'm off that ARITHOMYCIN nightmare! :) It may be fine for normal strong people, but not for health sensitive people with pd/gad.

and i know what you are sick of being sick, sick of the ups and downs... im so frustrated with it all.

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