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bdh18 10-04-2012 09:37 PM

Please somebody help:(
Prior to reading this, know that I stopped taking Cipralex 2 weeks ago after spending a month weaning off of a 10 mg dose, to 5, to 2.5 to 0. Never had GAD until March of this year- a result of attending first year university, a dear friend suddenly passing away and just dyyyying to leave the small town I was in and come home.

It feels like I'm losing control of my mind all the time and I'm not feeling right/thinking right. it feels like I'm losing control of it and can't perceive my reality properly. it's like i'm forcing myself to look at wherever i am in that moment completely differently than how i should. by that i mean, I'm trying to feel how i SHOULD feel but it is completely wrong. This all happens because of the dreadful feeling that my mind is not alright, i am out of my own control, i cannot think properly. It feels like I have a pressure on the top of my head and for some reason I associate that with the cause of the bizarre mind feeling. Whenever I try to focus or think normally it feels like I spiral out of control. It literally feels like there is no way out. I can't stop thinking. I've tried meditating and it becomes a nightmare. I've tried deep breathing but then I focus on how it makes me feel. This isn't fair, or right, or remotely close to who I am supposed to be. I feel like I've lost. I feel like it's game over. I just want to be able to think normally without feeling this way.

I also get crazy deja vu sometimes, it's like a nightmare. It feels like I've dreamt or thought of this exact thing before, and for some reason I always feel like it means I'm about to die haha. This one is easier to manage because I know how ridiculous it is. The constant mind fuzz is like… unbearable. I have NO idea how to make it stop.

I don't know what to do... I'm just so sick of not feeling like a part of reality anymore.

I don't know why I'm posting this. Even just somebody telling me I'm alright and this isn't crazy, even though it feels absolutely more like hell than any other thing I've ever experienced. I just need to know that I'm not unique in my symptoms... I feel like it's my fault because i can't just feel normal.

newone 10-06-2012 12:51 AM

Re: Please somebody help:(
Hi, I'm happy to hear that you are trying to stay off medications. A couple of questions though, 1- has this ever happened to you before? or, have you experienced anything like this before due to a high level of stress? Do not worry, you are not going crazy; but just need to know because it sounds similar to something i went through a couple of years ago.

bdh18 10-06-2012 12:29 PM

Re: Please somebody help:(
Hello c anderson:)
Thank you very much for your reply. I've had ONE period of anxiety before, but it did not make me feel unreal and this confused. It was more of the 'looping thoughts' 'cant get out of this' kind of thing. It was surely due to stress at the time.

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