mental institutions...

Graciecat

I know it's not my place to say this, but I just couldn't let this post go by without replying to it.
Your parents threatening to throw you in an institution is a horrible thing to do to someone.
Even if they don't mean it, IMO that's the worst thing anybody could say to someone with panic disorder.
Because we've all been there, thinking were crazy or were going to lose our minds.
We might be a lot of things, but crazy or insane isn't one of them.

slyJohn

well its not my dad; its my mom. And she has anxiety disorder too and she also says a lot of things she doesn't mean sometimes. the thing is, i refuse to take meds cause they make my heart racing worse, except xanax. im basically not the person they once saw me as... athletic, happy, funny, etc. im trying to fight it all myself. i do have a wonderful girlfriend to help me out. my dad said he doesnt know what to do and just asked me what could he do to help me. i didn't know what to say. i dont really like talking to my parents about my anxiety attacks cause they dont seem to understand for some reason.

Graciecat

I'm so happy that your Girlfriend is there for you, that can be such a big help all in itself.
It's also good that your Dad is putting forth an effort to at least try and understand.
When someone doesn't have this disorder it can be very hard for them to understand, like with your Dad, it seems he wants to help you, but he just doesn't know how.
When really the only thing he CAN do to help you, is just be there for you and let you talk about if that's what you want to do.

My Mom also suffered from panic disorder, she had it from the time she was very young and back then they really don't have a name for it, they just told my Grandmother that she was "high strung"..now that's an understatment!!!
There were times I could talk to my Mother about it and then other times it seemed like she was almost embaressed about it.
I never really knew why until one day I just asked her, she said she didn't like to talk to me about it because she felt like it was her fault that I'm the way I am.
Once I told her it was nobodys "Fault" that I have this and just because I was like her that didn't mean she had to feel bad about it things got so much better between us and we talked about it all the time.
Of course I don't know your Mom, but do you think maybe that's why she says the things she does, maybe she feels at "Fault" too...even though she shouldn't.

hry33

to slyjohn, anxiety is often inherited

in general mental institutions do more harm than good, most other patients are out of their minds and they often make you take the wrong type of meds, the psychs there often seem to be as sick as the patients also

there are effective anxiety meds that dont make your heart race, books on overcoming anxiety have much useful info

__________________
Life is not a dress rehearsal

ffsmith

My doctor wanted to put me in a hospital
And my parents too.

I thought it was a horrible thing too. Just like you said Graciecat
But now I lost my job and feel so bad that I was thinking of doing it now.

I am so stupid I try and do everything that people say to me just to be a good person.

slyJohn

thanks for the help guys. i went to six flags today cause my girlfriend asked me to go since she was there already. i absolutely could not stand it. we left about 30min after i got there. i explained to her... hun i am sorry but i honestly cant take this; i promise to get better but for now, this is just too much. and being in texas weather doesnt help at all. she understands and helps me out very much; i love her. i could barely walk through the park. i had to keep sitting down. on the way back to my car, my heart was racing for the longest time. i barely made it to my car. i took several breaks in between. i thought i would pass out. i really feel hopeless and still think something is wrong with me. i am 6ft tall and weigh only 120lbs. i can never gain weight. i just feel like something is eating me up. though i admit i dont eat as much as i used to from the anxiety, i just really feel like something is causing it even though ive had a number of tests done.

Graciecat

I understand your problem with the hot weather all to well.
Even after all this time...almost 20 years...the hot humid weather can still make me freak out.
In fact I had a similar experiance myself a few years ago.
I live in Pennsylvania and we were at an Amusment Park called Kennywood.
It was in the middle of August and it was almost 100 degrees that day.
I honestly thought I was going to die or at the very least pass out.
At first I was fine, but then the longer I was there, the hotter I got and the more it seemed to me that everything was just closing in, like I just wanted to scream at all those people to get the h*ll out of my way.
I was just like you, I had to sit down about a million times before we got to the car, but once I got there and we turned on the AC I was fine.
I have gone back since, but now when we go it's either at the very end of May or first part of June when they first open for the season.
As long as I don't get to hot it's okay.

I can also understand how you can feel that there's really something else wrong with you, even though you've had tests.
I used to be like that too, but then one day my Husband said to me "If there was really something wrong with your heart, or you really had a brain tumor and it was left untreated for this long, you'd be dead by now."
The more I thought about that, the more sense it made.
I'd had every test in the book and everything was normal, plus I realized my Husband was right and if there was really something terribly wrong with me I wouldn't still be here.

I'm so glad that your Girlfriend is so understanding, my Husband is the same way and that makes such a big difference to have someone around you that is supportive.

[This message has been edited by Graciecat (edited 08-16-2003).]

jerseygirl

I'm so sorry for what you are going through, but a good ssri (like Zoloft, Paxil, Effexor, etc.) REALLY does help. Try a different one if the one you took didn't agree with you..trust me.. chances are you will find one that works for you.

Mental institutions aren't all that bad, my mom has been in several of them. She's been in because she'e manic depressive and schitzophrenic. They get you under control with meds, then release you.

I don't think a mental institution would even admot you for just anxiety. Anxiety can be debilitaing, but doesn't require that.

Good luck to you!

Cathy

Lizzie101

Dear SlyJohn,
You do NOT need to go into a mental institution! Please, BELIEVE ME!!! It sounds like your mom has a problem herself! Look, everyone has anxiety at times--it's normal,and natural. I think some people just get it to a greater degree. I really think in your case it's probably being made worse by what your mom says to you. You may think it does't affect you, but any time you're fed negative messages like that they WILL affect you, even if you don't think so. You just store it away into your subconcious,and think it doesn't matter. But,I really think it's the subconcious mind that causes these problems in the first place. After all, your conscious mind will tell you, "I'm fine,there's nothing wrong here",but , still, there's a part of your brain that tells you something else.
I am not an expert. But, you sound like a normal young guy, going through a tough time. And,it seems like it's only being made worse by your mom. If you can, ignore her---and try to consider that maybe she herself is scared, and recognizes some of herself in what you're going through...?
I have an 11 year old son, and I TRY to fill his mind with POSITIVE self-images. I'm not perfect,I make mistakes, too. But, when I do, I ALWAYS appologize!!!It's important to know that your parents are NOT perfect, sometimes they do and say stupid things---but, I love my son more than life itself, and I really think he's WONDERFUL!!!
As for the SSRIs, I've had great results from Paxil myself, but mostly because it's helped to stop the cycle of negative thinking you can sometimes find yourself in. In fact, you don't feel any different, you just feel like you used to feel.
But,I admire you for trying to work it out without any help. I did, too, for a LONG time. Hopefully, you will be able to do it...Some people can.
Take care, and PLEASE know this---you do NOT need to be in an institution! That's ridiculous!

Liz

slyJohn

i wish i could shake everyones hand here. you're right lizzie; i have been a normal person most of my life. maybe the transition from high school to college plus working was way too much for me. my major is one of the hardest out there. i had a tumor in my adrenal gland when i was 8 years old and just fear of it coming back even though i just been tested for it again and all is fine. i wonder if having one adrenal gland has anything to do with my bad anxiety attacks though i doubt it since i have been fine till one year ago. my mom did have anxiety when she was younger but just not as bad as mine; she is a big worrier herself. gracie, i can relate to what your husband says about if you had a bad heart or tumor, you would have been dead by now. i am also trying to let the days go by and hopefully over time i will realize that hey, ive been having these attacks this long. it really must be all in my head. well im gonna try and go to the mall today; i dont seem to have a problem with malls as much as amusement parks. thank you all very much for your help; your words mean a lot to me.

[This message has been edited by slyJohn (edited 08-17-2003).]

Equis

For the record, you CAN be admitted for severe anxiety, but I agree with everyone else (such a conformist I know) that you don't need it. My mom says crazy stuff too, but just remember that mood and anxiety disorders are considered 50% environmental in cause, and 50% genetic, so in all likelihood, your parents have some idea of what's up. My dad has social anxiety and says some crazy things to my sister and I. It isn't uncommon for parents to project some of their irrational beliefs on their kids. E.G. my dad will panic about everyone looking at me (when usually people with social anxiety worry that everyone's looking at them). Anyways, you have a double wammy of genetics and environment, if your mom has anxiety too, because being raised by a parent with the disorder increases your likelihood of getting it yourself, as do the genes she gave you. Yes, you have the "you made me this way" tool on your side, but it's probably not her fault. Just try to ignore it, eh? Good luck.

Kate

ps... I don't think anyone answered your question about what it's actually like in the mental institution yet. Basically they're just hospitals, but for people with psychiatric problems instead of physical ones (this includes everything from schizophrenia to self-mutilation to drug rehab). You generally have a room and room mate, eat in the caffeteria, get meds and go to group and indiviual therapy sessions. Obviously everything varies from place to place, but it's nothing to worry about. If your mom ever actually DID place you in one, it might actually be a bit of a reliefe for you. They're great places to relax and focus on getting better instead of the worries of everyday life.

whitedove555

i just had to reply even though i came in late here. i hospitalized myself in may....i was having constant anxiety and daily panics so bad that i was calling 911 daily...almost. i did a little better after 9 days on the crisis unit but then they said i was to go home. i was petrified. 2 days later i went back in and the dr let me stay 2 days and said he was discharging me. in his opinion, people w/ panic, anxiety and agoraphobia should not go inpatient as they become dependent on the safe feelings of being there and fall apart once released. i tend to agree. i think a couple days to regroup if at all is ok but overall it is easy to feel safe and function in there, the fears are waiting right outside that door when you leave. i wish you had more understanding..i wish i did too ! you will beat this my friend.

------------------
kim

__________________
kim

slyJohn

whitedove i know exactly what you mean. i feel comfortable being around or right by a hospital, and it doesn't help that my mom works at the big hospital here. right now i think i am at the peak of my panic attacks, im not sure. the problem is, i dont accept that i just have panic disorder. i feel there is an underlying cause to it though i've had many tests come back normal, but havent had the tests i wanted. i want an ultrasound of my left leg that is always in constant pain. i fear i have a blood clot there. when i told my doctor about my pain he sent me to a back specialist to see if it was a compressed nerve or herniation. i wish he would just give me what i wanted. after several months of all these tests, im finally getting the ones i want. but yeah, you think you are bad. there have been times where my panic got so bad, i would just sit in the emergency room parking lot in my car and if i really thought i was about to pass out, i will rush in there and tell them. i am a christian with great faith and see myself pulling through this, but times are just hard right now.

always

a late response as well- i'm sorry to hear about your troubles and what not... i know what it's like- my dad doesn't know what to do, but will do what he can to help- my mom just wants to send me off-i never really had attacks until the last few years and at that- just one eve ryonce ina while- but i've been in a depressed state and underlying stress has built up and if i start thinking or worrying it snow balls, or if someone freaks out at me [example, people at work or my little brother attacks me (whether physical or emotional)] an attack starts- until recently i could control them, I"ve done well with out medications and refused to take them but i'm now on paxil cr, since i almost wrecked my car (had a bad attack , but had to drive a short ways before i could pull off)
i will say that' it's good that you hav ea girlfriend to help you- i know that my boyfriend has been there and back again for me- i agree entirely with graciecat... "that makes such a big difference to have someone around you that is supportive." If you try, i know you can get through this, just always remember there are people who'll support and help you--anycase, take care and good luck-

__________________
"just imagine what bach would have done with a synthesizer
"the thing with music: never be afraid to fail, always try, never give up..." Mr. Tourre