View Full Version : A little question

02-02-2016, 04:45 PM
Hi guys. Okay so very recently as of Sunday night I've been feeling pretty crap. In short I find myself asking "do i still love my girlfriend of 8 months" now what I can say is the last 8 months of my life have been amazing and I have nothing but good to say about this girl. It's just been so sudden and random these thoughts have came on and I don't know how to stop them because I don't want to lose her. What I want to ask is that do you think that because I've had a few bad breakups previously where I've had no idea it's coming on and it's came just after I've been feeling like all the time we see each other that it's quite rushed..that my brain is pre-emptively trying to help me not get so hurt? Because I have felt that recently when we see each other it has been really rushed like to go be somewhere aka a party or dinner or something. On top of that I'm really worried about money related stuff. Basically I need reassurance that I haven't just randomly fell out of lobe with the most wonderful girl I've ever met. Cheers

02-03-2016, 12:26 PM
Hi Pd-

You know one thing that OCD is really good at is robbing us of our happiness. If thatís not bad enough, we wind up self sabotaging ourselves (even if were really truly happy like you are) because weíre so afraid of what ďmightĒ happen, even if there are no signs or antecedents and Iím sure your previous breakups that you ďnever saw comingĒ really donít help your mind to be at ease.

You stated that you needed reassurance that you havenít fallen out of love with the girl your dating, but one thing that is not recommended when treating OCD is to reassure someone of their obsessions. Even if I was to tell you that you really do love your girlfriend, I would venture to guess that an hour or several hours from now you would have the same obessional thought. Itís not about loving your girlfriend or trying to convince yourself that you donít; those thoughts are going to randomly pop into your head no matter how much reassurance you receive.

Next time one of those thoughts pops into your head, why not try doing some self talk:

-Thatís not me, itís just my OCD.
-Iím not going to try to stop this thought because doing so will make it worse, so Iíll just let it happen and recognize it as my OCD.
-Iím sure that some of the past relationships Iíve had arenít helping me to stay focused on my girlfriend so I recognize that and I will come to accept that sometimes those things happen in relationships.

If you havenít already started speaking with a therapist, you may want to look into starting some CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). :D

02-03-2016, 02:28 PM
Thankyou so much. This has basically given me a better insight. I was so worried because I had no idea why I was having these thoughts it was so sudden that it's been tearing me up inside for the last few days so thank you a million for helping me identify a possible issue