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Archie33
02-17-2016, 08:04 PM
i have a daughter that i had to admit to a drug/alcohol treatment center,the therapist is requesting a family session,she wants me to write a impact letter,now this really hurts me,and its gonna take alot of soulsearching,to find the right words,because i am also a recovering alcoholic,may i please have some feedback about how i can go about writing this impact letter to my daughter?i dont want to make things worse for us,so i must b very carefull,a few samples would help alot.

SushiMole
02-17-2016, 10:03 PM
I come from a family of addicts. I'm actually the only one who is not. I have watched my father, mother, grandparents, uncles and aunts, and even my two young brothers all go through the struggles of addiction. The only two that got better were my brothers. And the main reason is because I was honest about what I thought of them and what they were doing. Honest to the core. I pulled no punches, not a single one. I think the only reason I could be honest with them was because I was their older sister.

The other thing that really helped is I gave them tons of alternatives. I started getting them involved in things they love and care about. And I went out and did those things with them, even if I didn't enjoy the activity, I enjoyed seeing them getting better.

Be as honest as you can. Brutal even. But the important thing is, to always be there when they build themselves back up. Support every good decision she makes. Be as involved as you can in the good things she does. But always call her out on the crap, always voice when the decisions are bad. Then offer an alternative. Things like, "Wow, you know that friend of yours (blank) always wants to go out and party. I don't really think that's the kind of person you should be wasting your time on right now. Why don't we go on a hiking trip Friday afternoon instead?"

SushiMole
02-17-2016, 10:07 PM
I forgot to add. You have to be honest about you too. How you fit in to all of this, and the entire situation. You can't just be honest about her and her actions. You gotta put it all out there. Everything. Nobody can heal from a place of lies, or leaving things unsaid. But anyone can heal from the truth. Anyone can look the truth in the face and overcome it. That's where she needs to be, so she can fight it with everything she's got.

Mg2121
02-18-2016, 12:09 AM
I bet this is extremely difficult for you. I'm sure you're thinking how can I write a letter like this when I was just as bad or worse. Well, you can because you are in recovery. You understand what she's feeling better than anyone else. But, you are 1 step ahead, you're in recovery. Just be honest. Admit to your mistakes, apologize for them and tell her that you want better for her. Like you said this is your little girl and you love her more than anything else, so you don't want to ever lose her, right? So, be her father and let her know that. Once you begin writing it will all come to you. Look at this as a life or death letter and it is the 1 and only chance you just may have to impact her.

Archie33
02-18-2016, 06:28 AM
Thank u very much for all u said, and Ure right what better person to write an impact letter than her own father, her maker!!!

Mg2121
02-18-2016, 06:37 AM
Thank u very much for all u said, and Ure right what better person to write an impact letter than her own father, her maker!!!

Absolutely! Good luck to both of you. Its now your time to lead by example! :)

Archie33
02-18-2016, 03:01 PM
Absolutely! Good luck to both of you. Its now your time to lead by example! :)
I finished it shed lots of tears,but done,I admit it's really good,I hope it hits home.thank u helped getting it started.GBY

Mg2121
02-18-2016, 05:50 PM
I am proud of you. I can not imagine how difficult it was to do that but you did. I wish the both of you a happy & healthy life! This is a new beginning for you both, take advantage of it!