View Full Version : Has my boyfriend relapsed?

02-09-2017, 12:09 PM
Hi all,
I'm 22 years old, and a non user which makes times like this difficult for me to deal with. My boyfriend is a recovering addict( pain killers & herion) I knew he was when we first started dating but it wasn't until months down the road that I found out the extent. He claims to have been clean since we met, and months prior to but I'm getting a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach by some things he's been doing.
Lately he spends several hours out of the day in the bathroom ( usually in 40 minute intervals) which when he does he always locks the door.
He is up all hours of the night, even when I am sleeping and lately has been very not affectionate and in edge- which isn't usual behavior for him.
I saw two small holes in his arms, right away a red flag when up and I thought they were from shooting up. When confronting him he got mad, and shot the conversations down very quickly.
He is on subsolv, but ran out early becuase he says he " gave it to his friend to try instead of suboxone" which again doesn't make sense to me.
He has needles in the house becuase he uses them for hgc shots but I'm starting to feel he may be using again.
I want to have faith in him and believe him but I'm really losing sleep over this becuase I am so worried.

This is all relatively new to me, asking for some advice.

02-09-2017, 01:53 PM
Normally when an addict is trying to hide using needles, they shoot between their toes or somewhere that you wouldn't notice..not all, but this is my experience- also with an ex boyfriend.

Behavior is a good clue that something is wrong. If you are sensing that something isnt right, it probably isnt....wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt is obviously your first instinct and not wrong- but please make sure you are being honest with yourself about what you are seeing.

Who else knows him that you can ask for a fair assessment? What about money? Is he spending more than usual or is money tighter than usual? This bathroom thing you bring up- you cant let him shut this down...ask him and ask him until he either tells you WHY he needs to be in the bathroom for 45 mins at a time or leaves the door open. Remember, a person who has something to hide usually gets defensive and tries to either drop the subject or throw it back at you....this is not going to be easy for you, but please trust yourself and your gut on this.

Unfortunately, you cannot help him unless he is committed to helping himself. You are too young to have to deal with this. Please protect yourself in every way possible.

02-10-2017, 05:58 AM
Thank you for responding-
His dad keeps tabs on his debt card, to be sure he isn't spending money..
and the bathroom thing, he says it's becuase his subs make it hard for him to go.
I don't know if it's just me but I feel like his excuses are not enough of an answer.
I need to be sure he's not using again, I just don't know how to know.

02-10-2017, 06:20 AM
your gut is telling you something.....it's usually best to listen to it.
In my opinion your gut is right.....I believe he's hiding something, and that something is that he is using again. Maybe you should think about looking after yourself and that would include getting out of this relationship. He's lying to you and he's abusing drugs. You can only get hurt from this scenario.

04-09-2017, 07:05 PM
Behavior is the key to knowing if he is relapsing or not plus your gut is telling you something and i would follow my gut feeling! Your gut instinct will not steer you wrong!

Dragonfly Wings
04-10-2017, 01:42 PM
Hey there,

What is his actual physical behaviour like? How does he look? Opiates (speaking as a recovering addict) will usually make you more euphoric/tired rather than energised/awake and up all night. Does he often look like he's falling asleep or half asleep when he usually doesn't look this way? Heroin will do that to you whereas pain meds are usually a bit more subtle. Subs will also clog you up and they usually recommend some things during detox/rehab to take while on subs to avoid this. Some natural things can help with that such as a handful of prunes a day or there are aids at the pharmacy that help keep you regular when on such medications.

I wish you well and hope you guys can work things out!