View Full Version : Help

03-17-2017, 07:26 PM
My dad died a month ago today he went in for an operation, the operation went well I spoke to him on a Thursday night told him I would see him tomorrow, we had phone call dad had been rushed into intensive care he had developed sepsis he was put under sedation I sat with him for 22 days he fought for his life he didn't want to die. He was worried going in I told him not to worry he would be fine I was wrong. I can't sleep I am so lost I don't know what to do with myself.

03-17-2017, 11:14 PM
I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my dad almost 2 years ago (next month). It was a horrible death and one which shouldn't have happened either. He was also post surgery when it happened. They told us surgery went fine, but complications arose 2 days later....

Nevertheless, the only thing I can offer you is that time makes it better. The first 2 months anything and everything set me off. I lost sleep, I cried, and I was miserable to everyone around me...eventually enough time goes by that it doesnt hurt every minute of the day and it starts to get better. The holidays, father's day and his birthday still hurt- and now the upcoming anniversary of his death has me very sad- but I can look at his pictures nad talk to his wife (my stepmother) and remember the good times.

One thing you can look into is a support group or counseling for grief. It really does help you to have a place to vent around people who "get it" and this allows you to start feeling better when you are alone. You cannot be expected to be "yourself" right now as you suffered a major loss. Being around people trained in grief counseling will also give you some mechanisms for coping.

Dont be too hard on yourself...I promise it will get easier eventually.

Dragonfly Wings
03-18-2017, 12:10 PM
Big, big hugs to you on the loss of your Dad. Please be kind to yourself, it is only very early days and so very raw. Allow yourself time to grieve the way you need to grieve, everyone grieves differently there is no right or wrong way and certainly no time limit.

Much love to you and yours!