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greenox45
06-19-2018, 06:23 AM
Hello,

I'm posting here seeking help on what I should do. My younger brother has been spiraling out of control for several years now and our family just initially thought that he was just a stoner smoking weed all the time to relax and deal with the struggles in his life. He is a high school drop out and his dad (my step dad) committed suicide when he was 11 years old. He is currently 20 and he has resorted to xanax and alcohol to help deal with his pain. At first he was just experience the typical xanax effects (tired, relaxed and no real drive) however it has changed. In the past several weeks his use and abuse of xanax and alcohol have led to angry outbursts taking out all of his pain and anger on myself, my mother and my biological father. We as a family have tried to talk to him and ask him for help on how we can better this situation and he has just been looking for a fight. We try to get him to go to therapy but when we are about to leave he either takes more xanax, runs off with his friends or just refuses to go. My family and I are trying our best to help my brother but we just feel like we can find any other options. I am just asking what are the steps we need to take so that he can accept his addiction and go seek treatment where he can get clean and start to find himself in a way that does not require drugs that have altered his brain chemistry. He never had any seizures in his life and now he has had 2 in the past week.

MSNik
06-19-2018, 12:36 PM
Hi there. Unfortunately your brother doesn't want help at this point and you cannot help an addict until they either hit rock bottom and ask for it OR they wind up in a hospital where they can be in a controlled environment. You mentioned that he is having seizures- this may be a medical issue which takes him to a hospital...hopefully before he hurts himself seriously.

The only way to change an addicts behavior is to get counseling and be put on a drug or drugs which change the brain chemistry...it can be done and I have seen people in worse shape than what you describe come out okay..but it is a huge step that THEY have to WANT to make. No one can talk them into it.

I am not sure if your brother lives with you...is it possible that your parents can give him an ultimatum and ask him to leave the house? If he doesn't live there, can they ask him to stay away until he treats them with respect? You said he was 20 years old...how is he buying his drugs? if he has money for drugs, he has money for rent. Sometimes tough love is the only answer.

I am really sorry that you had to come here to talk about this. No one should have to deal with this, I dealt with it too. It is a horrible situation...just remember that you cannot make him do anything unless he is a threat to you or himself; then you can get the authorities involved.

I hope he wakes up and realizes how much you love him.