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VERACITY
01-02-2004, 10:10 AM
Hi Everyone,

I have been taking vicodin for about eight month's now. My doc would prescribe me 90 per month for my back pain (not sure exactly what it is, I just know it hurts everyday).

Well I'm tired of dealing with this crap. I find myself overusing it, and I think I was using it for the mood enhancing effects, than what it was prescribed for.

I ran out early, and cannot pick up my next refill until the 11th. I decided I am just going to stop using it. I have been wanting to do this for sometime now, but it was just too tempting to continue. Although I honestly don't think I felt that much better when I had any.

I find myself tired as hell at most times, other than that I feel pretty ok.

Today is my third day cold turkey.

any input is appreciated.

thanks,
john

edit: I was also on oxycontin 10mg's for about 2 months.

VERACITY
01-02-2004, 10:19 AM
btw

what should I do with those 90 waiting for me?

I don't know if I should even pick them up. I'm afraid that once I get them I will want some, instead of flushing them. Because if I don't pick them up, I know they will be waiting for me.

help.

thanks,
john

edit: ********* I can't think straight, lol. I forgot to note I just started taking lexapro for depression. I don't know If I am legitamately depressed or if it the cause of the hydro. Either way I am taking it. Nothing seems enjoyable lately. But it's getting better.

rockingham
01-02-2004, 10:44 AM
welcome.

im glad your here john. recognizing a problem and quitting prescription painkillers is a large step toward recovery. do you feel this situation WAS an addiction? day 3 for you, thats great! if withdrawal is difficult people here have good tips for easing the level of discomfort. i am a little surprised it has been relatively easy for you physically. can you describe how your withdrawal is going. it is extremely uncomfortable in many cases. also can you tell us how many pills you were taking each day and what prescription vicodin were they, i mean the size of the pill in milligrams. vicodin comes in 5mg also 7.5mg and 10mg. all with varying amounts of aceteminophen in them.

PS you made your decision john. now you must be a determined and tough minded individual and follow thru with your decision to stop using. NA meetings are well recommended for support. also this board will support you every step of the way bud. YOU CAN DO THIS!!! do not pick up the prescription john! putting the pills down will be one of the hardest things you ever do. believe in yourself!!!

VERACITY
01-02-2004, 10:52 AM
welcome.

im glad your here john. recognizing a problem and quitting prescription painkillers is a large step toward recovery. do you feel this situation WAS an addiction? day 3 for you, thats great! if withdrawal is difficult people here have good tips for easing the level of discomfort. i am a little surprised it has been relatively easy for you physically. can you describe how your withdrawal is going. it is extremely uncomfortable in many cases. also can you tell us how many pills you were taking each day and what prescription vicodin were they, i mean the size of the pill in milligrams. vicodin comes in 5mg also 7.5mg and 10mg. all with varying amounts of aceteminophen in them.
thanks

yeah it really hasn't been too bad.

The vic's were 5/500's. and the oxy's were 10's.

I started off taking 2 a day, then 3, then 4, then 5, then maxed out at 6. This was all over a period of 8 months or so.

for a two month period I stopped taking the vic's and switched to the oxy's. But then got bored with those and found myself craving vic's, and talked my doc into it.

I feel pretty good I guess. Just tired and unenergetic. I sleep great, I can concentrate fairly well, not anxious, etc..

just tired. but that will change with time, I'm sure.

to cope, I filled my lexapro the day I decided to stop (even though it won't kick in for a while, I just tell myself how much better I will feel once it does), and started taking my mega men vitamins again. Hoping the B's will help out with the lethargicness.

if there are any other question you want to ask, please don't hesitate. I'm just sitting here at work bored as hell, lol.

This is helping a bunch having some people to share with.

thanks,
john

edit: I also have buspar for anxiety, that I have been taking for a couple of month's. I don't know if that will offset any anxiety I may get from w/d's? I don't like taking it though, because it makes me feel like crap (ie: dizzy, etc..).

rockingham
01-02-2004, 11:02 AM
yes. depression is a common side effect of opiate addictions. i have been very depressed. even before i started using. but as my addiction worsened my depression grew into a powerful thing that dominated my life completely. i am better now. taking wellbutrin and effexor xr. i also take a mood stabilizer. :). i didnt see an answer to whether or not you felt this was an addiction for you? there are some very caring and supportive people who post to this board. good luck in the days ahead brother.

VERACITY
01-02-2004, 11:14 AM
yes. depression is a common side effect of opiate addictions. i have been very depressed. even before i started using. but as my addiction worsened my depression grew into a powerful thing that dominated my life completely. i am better now. taking wellbutrin and effexor xr. i also take a mood stabilizer. :). i didnt see an answer to whether or not you felt this was an addiction for you? there are some very caring and supportive people who post to this board. good luck in the days ahead brother.
I think I was on the brink of addiction, if not already slightly addicted.

I really can't answer the question, to be quite honest, because quite frankly I am not sure myself. I know I wouldn't leave anywhere without it, and felt relieved when I had a new fill, and started getting anxious when it would get low.

I would count how many I had and divy them up for the days, to see how many days I had left until I didn't have any.

so yeah, lol. I guess I was addicted.

chefob1
01-02-2004, 12:44 PM
good thing your thinkin...i used to take about 50 10mg hydros a day..or about 350mg of oxys...id take 20 - 20mg's a pop...been usin opiates for years for back problems...now im on 60mg of methadone daily for addiction/chronic back pain....try to get off of them before they ruin your life...i lost my wife/kids/300,000 home,harley,ect.....its a bad disease....chef

stayhomemom
01-02-2004, 12:50 PM
John...your story is similar to mine. I was in denial about any type of addiction until I found I couldn't leave the house w/out any pills or I would do as you did... devy up and get anxious when I was running low on pills. I'm on day 4 of my taper. Today I will only take 3 7.5/750's. Not really sure what I was up to but around 10/500's 6-10 a day and drinking, atuss, tussionex, etc. I'm re-thinking my taper plan and am hoping to go cold turkey. I have my envelopes broken down to a total of 18 days and on day 18 I will only have half of a 7.5 to take but the w/d's are driving me nuts and I'm starting to think cold turkey might be the way to go. Good Luck! I have to admit that now that I've lowered my dosage I feel better already. I can't wait to be drug free!

Keep thinking positive thoughts. The depression is a real kicker. I'm not taking anything for depression (another denial of mine). I'm just so sick and tired of choking down pills! I hope all works out for you. My thoughts are with you.

VERACITY
01-02-2004, 01:20 PM
thanks guys.

feeling pretty good actually. Just took an aleve for pain. Other than that nothing in me.

it will work, I know it will.

It's my new years resolution.

If i can drag myself outside every night to run 3 miles, I can do this no prob. :)

VERACITY
01-02-2004, 08:39 PM
suggestions? support?

feelbad
01-03-2004, 04:31 AM
I was reading your posts,and by the way, congrats on making it this far. I just needed to ask though,what exactly is wrong with your back? Has your doc had any type of tests done to pinpoint your problem?And the biggie here,have you discussed your possible addiction with him/her?I bring the pinpointing of your back problem up as if this is not addressed now,like most back problems, it will eventually progress to the point where you WILL need to take some heavy painkillers just to get through your day.I know that if you discuss this with your doc, you run the risk of "cutting off" your supply,but I am rather concerned about the fact that a Dr would supply you with those heavy types of pain meds without really knowing just what the problem is.Is this the type of Dr that you want in charge of your healthcare?I am really pulling for you,but I think you have some rather big issues here that you need to address in order to be successful in living everyday without painkillers.The biggest here, finding a new doc who really wants to help you to get to the root of your back problem so it can be dealt with now while it is not to a point where you will actually NEED the painkillers for pain just to maintain some quality of life.Am I making any sense here? You need to ask yourself on the day that your next fill comes up,"do I really NEED these for pain"?If the answer is no,don't pick them up.(I know that it will not be an easy choice for you,but it is what you HAVE to do)If the answer is yes,it is time to sit down and have a heart to heart with your doc about your situation,or better yet, find another doc who really wants to find out just what the reason is for your back pain.I am really hoping that everyday gets a little bit better for you,and that you get ever closer to that light at the end of the tunnel.You are very lucky that you recognized that you might have a problem and are taking steps to try and go without the meds,as with addiction you slowly start to lose any control over whether or not you are taking these for pain or just for the high.By the time most of us thought we might have had a problem with them ,we had lost alot of things/people in our lives and were scrambling to get our lives back together.An addiction to pain meds is a very sneaky addiction in that you are taking them because your Dr Rxed them.And even though you might wonder from time to time "am I becoming addicted here"?You can easily justify the reason that you are taking them as "I am taking them for my pain".This is also a very "silent" addiction,as like with alcohol, the signs are pretty much out there for anyone to see,and you can also smell it on someones breath.With meds,you can take one at work and 'no one will ever know".I hope that this helps you in some way.I wish you luck VERACITY.Please keep us posted here.We all understand where you are at and are hoping and praying for you. feelbad

VERACITY
01-03-2004, 01:32 PM
ok..

well here's what happened..

I was rear-ended twice. Once in 99 and once in 00. I got a minor case of scoliosis out of it, but no real big deal.

I was at work and was moving my desk, because I didn't like where it was at. I ended up rotating my pelvis 12mm to the left. I seeked chiropractic treatment for about 10 months, until we got to the point where it wasn't going to get any better. Basically I just have permanent muscle trauma in my back. I had a MRI done, and it came up pretty much negative, except for some calcium spurring in my lower vertebraes. That's basically it. It just feels like pressure all the time on my lower back, and its REALLY irritating.

The good thing is, I got PD out of it through COMP so I can go to the chiro whenever I want. Which I think I'm going to do here early next week, and have him recommend a massage therapist for my back. I think this will help greatly, as I haven't seen him in about 6 months.

john

rlcowboy
01-03-2004, 06:11 PM
Sounds real familiar, excrpt I've had 3 back surgerys with my pain in the last nine months, but if I were you I would not hesitate to get help from your doctor, at this point he can tapper you off and watch you closely and give you something for your back pain besides narcotics. Belive me, I know a little about back pain and I can tell ya, you need to find out whats going on with your back. What does the doctor say?Does he think by you taking pain meds every month the problem is going away, it will just help mask the problem, and with a back problem, take my advice and get a second opinion!!Dont mess around with your spine!! It could be something that can lead to bigger problems down the road, ya know? After you talk to your doc please tell me what he says, maybe I can help a little,just dont keep depending on pain pills, trust me, its no way to live!!!!! Rlcowboy :cool:

doggreensector
01-03-2004, 10:32 PM
Veracity.

You are lucky that you are not experiencing much in the way of physical withdrawals. I was taking vikes for about a year. Sometimes taking as little as one 5-500 a day and up to as many as 4 7-750 a day. I know that does not sound like much but my system is very sensitive and it did not take much for me to get that euphoric feeling and maintain it all day. Another reason I kept the amount low that I was taking was because I am a hypochondriac and was worried if I took much more I would die of a heart attack or respitory failute. I am on day 12 without any vikes and I still feel a tad shakey. Headaches, tiredness, a little anxiety, and the slight feeling that my skin is still crawling. I know that this will go away. I would tell you not to pick up that prescription. I went through the same thing in the past "should I or shouldn't I. Unforturnately the "should I" won out most of the time. However sounds like you are doing good right now and hang in there.

VERACITY
01-04-2004, 12:14 AM
thanks guys.

end of day 4 and I feel pretty good. NO headaches, not all that tired, no "skin crawling" whatever that is, lol, probably some anxiety but I take Buspar for that anyways.

I feel a lot better than I did before, and quite frankly I don't even fantasize about what it would be like if I had some right now. I just think to myself how much more productive I will be without them, how much more I will accomplish, and what could have been.

I'm actually looking forward to tommorow, hoping it will be a fun day. I found that hanging out with friends and getting out of the house has helped a lot. If I stayed home all day, I think I would go insane, lol. I was home until 5 p.m. today and thought I was going to snap.

I have a feeling there is probably one sitting under my seat in my truck right now, from falling out of the bottle. I haven't even went looking for it, hopefully that is a good thing. I think tomorrow I will clean it out and toss it in the shitter.

Thanks for the support, it really helps,
John

VERACITY
01-04-2004, 12:19 AM
Sounds real familiar, excrpt I've had 3 back surgerys with my pain in the last nine months, but if I were you I would not hesitate to get help from your doctor, at this point he can tapper you off and watch you closely and give you something for your back pain besides narcotics. Belive me, I know a little about back pain and I can tell ya, you need to find out whats going on with your back. What does the doctor say?Does he think by you taking pain meds every month the problem is going away, it will just help mask the problem, and with a back problem, take my advice and get a second opinion!!Dont mess around with your spine!! It could be something that can lead to bigger problems down the road, ya know? After you talk to your doc please tell me what he says, maybe I can help a little,just dont keep depending on pain pills, trust me, its no way to live!!!!! Rlcowboy :cool:
My doctor is a turd, he doesn't do jack for me other than write rx's out. That's why I went to him to begin with :rolleyes: unfortunately. He's a nice enough guy, he just wants him patients in and out, and that's how he does it. I mean he won't give me ANYTHING, but getting 90 fills of vic per month was not a challenge by any means.

I have tried pretty much everything under the sun. Soma, skelaxin, BIG ibuprofens, bextra, celebrex, some other crap that made me want to puke, etc..

I really don't want any pills, I hate taking them. I just want to man up and deal with it. I think I will just go to the chiro like I said, since it IS free, and get massages weekly :cool: WHO WOULDN"T WANT THAT? lol.

Thanks for the concern,
John

feelbad
01-04-2004, 05:07 AM
VERACITY,sounds like you are headed in the right direction here.I think that for what you described as "muscle trauma" a chiro sounds like your best bet.The thereputic massages are probably the right Rx for what is ailing you.They also have various types of treatments for those knotted up muscles that can be extremely effective.I would give anything right now to be able to go back to PT,where I was able to recieve a half hour of non stop massage(really put me in my happy place).My insurance co stopped my PT as they said I was not making substantial progress.I was making some, but not what 'they" felt was significant enough for them to continue paying.So I have these really huge knots that have built up over my upper shoulders as a result of trauma from surgery,and the nerves being all messed up.If you can get a free massage from your chiro, go for it.I know a massage twice a week was the only thing that offered me any relief at all.Unfortunetly that relief only lasted a day or two,and we would be back where we started. I still think that you need to start seeing a new Doc here as this other guy really dosen't sound like he has ANY of his patients best interest at heart here. Take care and keep us posted. Marcia

sadsister
01-04-2004, 06:49 AM
Hi-
Welcome to the board!Sounds like you are doing well.If got a few days in..and you are moving/eating etc..you are doing great.
I have depression issues/like many addicts too.and take meds..including a benzo.
When you come off the opiates a very heavy depression can kick in..so don't fear..we are here..and you will want to discuss this w/ your dr. if it becomes really intense.
Let us know..This is a great helpful place to go!

Heather

VERACITY
01-06-2004, 11:50 AM
7th day.

doing great, thanks guys.

my back is annoying though. I wish I could take something for it that would relieve me of the pain that isn't an opiate or addictive.

suggestions?

thanks,
john