View Full Version : havent been here in a while...

01-15-2004, 05:57 AM
Hi everyone
I havent taken any hydro's or xanax in quite a while...No hydros since nov and no xanax since early dec!!! !!I was prescribed ambien to help me sleep i have only abused them 2 times{taking 2 when i am only suppose to take one}The doc only gave me enough for 20 nights and i will soon be waiting for my date to refill{sleepless nights here i come}.I have entertained the thoughts of buying xanax to get me through...I dont like the way i feel the next day after taking them...so i am telling myself dont do it!!!! I really really hope i dont..I completely and honestly evaluated myself the last time i took those crazy things and didnt like what i saw and felt within myself afterwards !!! Right before christmas i got busted with a funny smell on my fingers after feeding hubby some cake{got complacent and forgot to wash my hands this time}..Well to make a long story short....He said stop using or get out!!!!!!!!! Here i am putting everything on the line...AGAIN!!!!!! Only this time HE KNOWWS..So i am gambling with higher stakes now!!!! I told him i have been smoking for 9 years and he never knew..what am i hurting?? I have never been in trouble with it and i still do what i am suppose to do!!!! Thats justification.... i know!!!! It didnt work with him this time...He is very serious and i get caught again..WELL you can put the rest together!!! I will surely lose my job if i go to detox and to be honest i dont want to go!!!!!!!! I have been seeing a chemical dependancy therapist and a phys doc for about a month and yes i told them!!! They want me to stop smokin so they can see if the antidepressants are gonna work...I just cant seem to put that demon to rest.Smoking is my big crutch!!!! I know the day is comin soon though.I have alot to lose here and i was on the verge of divorce BEFORE he busted me this time anyway!!!! I am wondering about the new HIPPA LAW..Does anyone know if we go to court eventually can my records be brought in for evidence?I was completely honest with the docs about EVERYTHING!!! YIKES!!!! I have to go to work so i will check back in later...when the kids and hubby go to bed...
Thanks for listenin to me ramble this morning...

01-15-2004, 07:10 AM
In a child custody case, NOTHING is private. Everything can be brought in to court including your medical records, emails, EVERYTHING! I'm sorry but are you talking about pot? Are you saying you are having a hard time stopping pot? I'm a little stupid sometimes and couldn't exactly tell from your posts. I went through a HORRIBLE custody battle for over a year and thank God, we settled. It was horrible and he was an attorney too. That was right before I became really bad addicted! My thoughts are with you and I'm glad you came back. Also, congrats on the pills. AWESOME!