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sammi
01-29-2004, 09:22 AM
Hi everyone! I guess I will start out by saying I am a stay at home mom of three, with a wonderful and very supportive husband. I first started taking Norco about 6 months after my third child was born which has now been about 2 and 1/2 years ago. I have a bulging torn disc. And JUST like everyone else, I took it strictly for the pain, AT FIRST, and then when I realized it was easier to be "super" mom when I was on it I unfortunately caved in and allowed it to take over my life. The funny thing is, I have always been about trying alternative medicine, and then of course once the Doctor prescribed the Norco and told me I should give it a try, it took care of the pain a lot quicker than what I was use to. After three c/sections I NEVER took anything but tylenol for the pain once I got home. Go Figure! Anyway, I was taking up to 10 a day until this past Sunday around 2pm and I just thought I don't want to keep living like this. So I quit cold turkey. Other than taking tylenol pm and occasional advil for my back pain, which isn't as bad as I thought it was. I have never had a problem with depression I have always been high on life but of course these last few days have not been the "highest" of my life. Although, after reading some of your post, I think I've had it pretty easy. First and second day I had the sweats, shakes, diarrhea, and just feeling like I had the flu. A little "depressed" but not much. Third day, yesterday, physically I felt a whole lot better but my mind keeps telling me to go pick up my refill. Which I'm pretty sure my husband called my Dr and Pharmacist to make sure there is nothing there for me to pick up. Today I'm somewhat shakey, but feeling pretty good. I think the hardest part is the boredom. I just hate the way my mind keeps telling me I need to get more pills. How long will I have to deal with that? Also, how long before I feel like I'm back to my old self? I am so worried about caving in! I also would like to add that I've made it a point to get out at least once during the day and once in the evening which I think has really helped. Lots of sunshine! Thanks for any advice.

rosietee
01-29-2004, 01:05 PM
My two girls are downstairs calling me, but wanted to hop on and say hi and there are alot of others in your position at all stages of recovery with alot of wisdom to share! I will say a prayer for you!

rosietee

sammi
01-29-2004, 03:38 PM
My two girls are downstairs calling me, but wanted to hop on and say hi and there are alot of others in your position at all stages of recovery with alot of wisdom to share! I will say a prayer for you!

rosietee


Rosietee, I wanted to say thank you for your prayers and any advice you can offer. I just hope that I can continue without it. Today was especially hard mentally. I want it sooooo bad. I hope I am strong enough to do this. I feel lucky for not having severe withdrawals, but it's so hard mentally.
I would also like to say that I hope everyone continues to post because you all are an inspiration to everyone here.

Thanks
Sammi

upatnite58
01-29-2004, 04:21 PM
hi sammi...just wanted to tell you that you CAN do it. you're right about the boredom, makes your mind wander back to old habits. keep busy and tell yourself everyday that you are clean. take some time to learn what the new (undrugged) you is really like. get to know yourself. and remember that you are not alone...

sammi
01-29-2004, 04:49 PM
hi sammi...just wanted to tell you that you CAN do it. you're right about the boredom, makes your mind wander back to old habits. keep busy and tell yourself everyday that you are clean. take some time to learn what the new (undrugged) you is really like. get to know yourself. and remember that you are not alone...

Upatnite58, thanks for the encouraging words. I guess I've always been the type of person that if there is a problem I normally don't waste time and do what I can to fix it and obviously like to see quick results. Which I know I brought this on to myself and I am beginning to understand from reading some of the post here that this will be a battle for quite a while. But do you know for how long? Weeks? Months? Years? When do you start feeling like your old self again? Another question I have is, I have an appetite like never before now that I'm off the Norco's. Has anyone else had this side effect of withdrawals? I literally can not get full.
Thanks

upatnite58
01-29-2004, 05:04 PM
hi sammi....well you should start feeling well physically in about 1 week. sleep may be harder to come by though, and that can take weeks or even months for your regular sleep patterns to return. but they will, and so will your appetite..LOL. but thats OK, part of the recovery process. as far as feeling like your old self, well she may not exist anymore. you will have to get aquainted to your new self. don't worry though, she's much wiser than your old self...

sammi
01-29-2004, 05:44 PM
upatnite58, thank you sooo much. It has been so kind of you to take time and give me a heads up of what I have to look forward to. I was reading another post where you gave a little bit of your background. Congratulations on staying clean! Do you ever think about taking them again? Is that thought something that just never goes away? Does it cross your mind everyday or only on bad days? I hope I'm not asking too many questions, just want to know what I have to look forward to. I'm just so ready to get back to a normal life again, but aren't we all working towards that?

upatnite58
01-29-2004, 06:21 PM
yes i guess we are....and no i never thought of taking them again until my back pain became excruciating about 2 years ago. went every other route i could and never considered them until the doc mentioned them to me a little while ago. so don't think that cravings will be with you at every turn, they won't. but occasionally they will creep in. be prepared for those times...go for a walk, do some shopping, read a book...anything to take your mind off it, it will pass...believe me.

sammi
01-29-2004, 07:27 PM
upatnite58, All you spoke of above is so encouraging. Thank you so much for answering so many questions. And again, congratulations on sobriety. I will definitley keep you posted on my journey.

Have a good night:)

lisaaahubb
01-30-2004, 04:03 AM
Hey Sammi---Welcome---
I am a stay at home mom of 4 :eek: ages 14, 13, 12, and 2....
Those dam pills took control of my life too...made me "Supermom", full of energy and life....til you take them away....
I am still struggling to stay clean....i recently went about 65 days and the depression and lack of energy kicked in then the CRAVINGS...
I have minimal support at home, and am never "allowed" to have sick days...so i am sure you understand my dilema...
I am currently taking percs....about 4 or 5 a day although the other day i took 7 :eek: so i see the disease slowly creeping up on me again.
I know you can do this, seeing you have a supportive husband!!! Getting the support you need to get thru this is more than half the battle!!! hang tough because every day from here forward you will be feeling just a little bit better each day. Make a plan NOW for when the cravings hit...either meetings, or whatever YOU think will work to keep you away from those little devils....
I wish you all the luck in the world and have a good feeling that you are gonna be one of those that "make" it thru this hellish struggle.
I am glad you posted and look forward to chatting with you again.
luv,
LISA

Banker
01-30-2004, 04:10 AM
Hi Sammi - I was just reading your post and wanted you to know we've all been there. You can and will get through this. Sounds like you are a VERY strong person and you can beat these pills... Have you thought about going to aa/na meetings or anything like that? You can go to them online too. With the kids, that may be what you have to do sometimes. Keep us posted as to how you are feeling, etc. God bless you and I'm praying for ya'!

samilam
01-30-2004, 05:01 AM
Sammi, Congrats on getting off those things by yourself, its hard. I too have 3 kids and a hefty Lortab addiction. I am a chronic relapser and have chosen Suboxone to help me. I know what you mean about the bordom, I stay at home with my kids as well and I think somehow the way the pills makes you feel, it numbs the fact that you are alone, in a house surrounded by kids. No real life. (for me anyways)

I'm no expert by any means and I have never been able to beat it so I don't feel I can give any advise, but I wanted to say congrats, good luck and welcome to the board.
Sam

sammi
01-30-2004, 06:26 AM
Hi Lisa, thanks for checking in. I feel so guilty for complaining about my ups and downs after reading post from others. I hope you too will find the inner strength to fight this battle. I know easier said than done, but get rid of those percs NOW. PLEASE don't let it take over you again. It sounds like you had done so well. How long were you on them when you quit for the 65 days? It is always a little upsetting when I read where someone doesn't have the support of their spouse. I just don't understand it!
Did you really not feel close to being back to "normal" after 65 days? I have a feeling those cravings are going to drive me insane. And even though I'm feeling somewhat back to normal physically, man oh man, mentally it is such a battle. I keep telling myself, well, I only had to go 5 days of feeling like crap, why not start taking again and take on the world. I just keep telling myself if I start taking again, it's going to kill me.
By the way, good idea on making plans in advance for when the cravings hit.

Thanks for chatting. I look forward to hearing from you again.
Sammi

sammi
01-30-2004, 06:34 AM
Banker1151, thanks for your post. I've read where several people have suggested NA meetings. I have not looked into that yet, although I'm sure I should and will. If I can just get past these mental cravings I think I will be okay. I prayed to God when I stopped on Sunday that he could make me feel like crap as long as he wanted, but please don't let me suffer too long mentally. (I think that prayer helped) After reading some of your post, it sounds like you are doing so good and you're so happy. Congratulations! I look forward to chatting with you more. Have a good day.

Sammi

Creeky
01-30-2004, 09:19 AM
Hi Sammi,

Congradulations! I too quit cold turkey on the same day as you. I quit at 10:30 am Sunday morning. I was up to 10 10/325 Percocets a day and quickly losing control. It sounds like you are doing a lot better then I am physically, which makes me a little jealous. I guess I am on day 5, since I did take 3 pills on Sunday. Do you have any withdrawl symptoms today? I still have diarehea, can't eat, can't sleep, but I do feel better today then I have since Sunday.
I am having cravings, but I think about how I have suffered these past 5 days and tell myself I don't want to EVER go through this again, and it takes away my cravings. I also decided yesterday to cut off my resources to the percocets, so I wouldn't have anymore access to them. I came clean with my doctor! It was hard because now I know that I no longer can get them from my doctor, so now I have no choice.

It is nice to know that we quit on the same days! If you don't mind maybe we can help and support one another along the way.

I too am a stay at home mom and the pills helped me cope with my boredom of not having a life! I sure will miss my friend which was the percocets, because they are what helped me get through each day.

Lets keep in touch and get each other through this!

God bless,
~Creeky

upatnite58
01-30-2004, 10:47 AM
creeky..
you are very right about taking away your resources. when i stopped many moons ago, i too was a stay at home mom, living in germany with my hubby. we were transferred back to Canada and i knew i wouldn't be able to get the pills there without looking like a real drug seeker. hubby knew i took them for pain, but he had no idea how many or how badly i was hooked. i knew i HAD to stop. and i had the move back home to keep the boredom and cravings at bay. funny how all this stuff is coming back to me now that i hear your stories. anyway stay well all and stay strong..

Creeky
01-30-2004, 11:06 AM
Hi Upatnite58,

I think that was a important step for me to take to get rid of my resource, because I know myself and if I have access to them, all I will do is think about them. I never resorted to Online Pharmacies or doctor shopping, so I only had one resource to the pills, and that was my doctor and as of yesterday, that has stopped. There is no way that I can get the pills unless I resort to other ways, and to be honest with you, I am to weak and scared to do that.

If you don't mind me asking, what were you taking? How long have you been clean? How do you stay clean, and would you mind sharing your story with me?

~Creeky

sammi
01-30-2004, 11:55 AM
Creeky, I swear when I read your post to me that you were talking about myself. I too was up to 10 Norco's a day and was needing to increase being I was no longer getting the "high". I knew I had a major problem when I ordered from an online pharmacy about a month ago. I also know that if I go back on them I will be completely out of control. My husband called my Doctor on Monday to let him know what is going on and also the pharmacy.
Today I'm feeling REALLY shakey and just thinking a lot about if I can do this. It seems like the last two days I just mentally keep playing back in my head how good that "high" was and if I can really do this. I also have an appetite like crazy! Which luckily I can stand to gain a few pounds. Hopefully I'm not trading one addition for another. Ha! I was glad to see when I came aboard on Sunday that someone was starting the same day as I. I know it has really helped me to get out of the house as much as possible. Even though it's cold here (Texas) the sun has been out which seems to really help me. I think the hardest thing through this is the boredom and the occasional "down" feeling. But thank God I have not had much of that.
I'm really glad you told your Doctor about everything. Just hang in there and we WILL get through this together.
Sammi

John 808
01-30-2004, 12:40 PM
Sammi,

I just posted to you on the other thread "Quick Question," but after reading your thread was wondering if you told you husband everything and that is why he called you doctor and pharmacy? Just wanted to understand your story so I could share with you!

You are doing so good! Keep fighting....you can beat this!
Michelle

upatnite58
01-30-2004, 01:56 PM
hi sammi, creeky and michelle....to answer your questions, i was taking oxycodone 10/325..it was in german as i was living in europe at the time but it was 10mg oxycodone/ 325 mg aspirin (not APAP). i got up to between 10 and 15 a day, and how i didn't get an ulcer, i don't know. i now pay the price because i can't touch any kind of anti-inflammatory. makes me sick, and with my ever increasing back pain, i am at a loss. cannot take vioxx, celebrex either. makes me sick to my stomach. i stopped in 1988, when we returned to canada, as i knew i couldn't get them here as readily. plus i was damned scared. took them initially as a result of a car accident in 1984. so i used (ever increasingly) for 4 years(from the age of 26 to 30). quit when i knew we were coming home. looking back don't know how i got through it, was pretty sick for a couple of days...but i knew (or i was convinced) that i couldn't get them any more. i did have cravings, but i had no way to go back to my habit that i knew of so i just lived without them. after awhile the cravings just went away, i guess. haven't really thought about them in years until the doc mentioned them to me a while back as a solution to my severe back pain. have to admit it opened up a wound that i thought was long since healed. i know i can't go back there..period. but i know how it is for you guys, as i was there and i understand. i was lucky in that i had a very understanding husband (and still do), even though he didn't know the extent of the problem. please don't say that you're too weak to look elsewhere for pills, say you are too smart. whatever emotion keeps you clean, be it fear, shame, weakness..etc...it doesn't matter. staying clean does...strength to all of you, whichever method you choose to stay clean and may God ease the way...PS. never went to meetings because i was too much of a coward to go....

sammi
01-30-2004, 03:56 PM
Hi Michelle, Yes, my husband knows everything. I am the one who asked him to call the dr and pharmacy so there would be no chance in h*** of getting it quickly. I figured if I had to work on getting it, it may take a while and by that time maybe the craving will be gone. For the last month he would leave me four for the day but I would call him and make it sound like my back was just "killing" me so he would give in. He is the type of person that wants to make everyone happy and can not stand to see someone "suffering". Although when I finally decided that last Sunday was going to be it, he proceeded to tell me that he had already spoken to a rehab. and was going to have me admitted. I don't think I could do this without him. He has been calling anywhere from 8-10 times an HOUR just reasurring me that I can do it and he will take care of everything when he gets home. He wants me doing nothing as for as housework goes. And as soon as he gets home he's been taking the kids to his parents house for a few hours so I can have some "mommy" time. Although you all have been a GREAT deal of help, also.
Oh Michelle, I remember those days of the little one's being sick. I think that's around the time I increased my dosage. My two youngest one's are only 12 mths apart!
I think you should continue to get out as much as possible. My kids love riding in the car! And I know that's only because everyday I would load them up and take a few Norco's and put a movie on for them in the car and go riding around for an hour or two. Isn't that horrible? But I guess it has worked out for the best now.
Just hang in there yourself and keep telling yourself it can ONLY get better. Another thing I always worry about is tomorrow, even if I'm having a good day today, I always worry if tomorrow will be as good, and my husband keeps reminding me, don't worry about tomorrow, if you're having a good day today, ENJOY it. Sorry, I know I just keep rambling on. Hope your day is going better for you.

Sammi

John 808
01-30-2004, 05:00 PM
Hey,

Thanks for sharing with me- it helps so much to have a supportive spouse. My has been wonderful- even after going through this (lying to him and getting caught) about three times! Each time he forgave me and did everything he could to help, but this last time he did tell me if I went back to the pills again, he was going to have me admitted into re-hab! And I just couldn't fathom leaving my babies! So, I have no choice.

I took a few pain meds Tuesday, because I had two teeth with exposed nerves and had them repaired. Took more than I should have so I flushed the rest. Haven't told him about that, I guess since I flushed the rest, I "justified" it would be okay!

The lethargy is what gets me- what about you? The "blahs" as I call them, too! I just want to lay around and do nothing but with three under five that is impossible! I did go to Walmart this afternoon and then to the church gym and walked a mile and did the stair master while the kids played with the basketballs and I do feel so much better! Need to make a habit of that!

Well, you hang in there and keep in touch,
michelle

sammi
01-30-2004, 05:40 PM
Hey Michelle, glad to hear it did you some good to get out today. I definitely know what you mean about being lethargic. It really hits me in the early afternoon to mid evening time. This afternoon has been somewhat depressing for me. I guess normally on Friday's I was pretty high around this time. Thank God I have not had too much depression, but like right now I'm second guessing whether or not I will be able to do this. I think one problem here is I am normally in control of everything and guess what, Sammi can't control these mind games and feeling depressed here and there and I don't like not being able to take care of it immediately. And I really want to slap my husband right now because he keeps telling me how well I'm doing and I want him to feel just once what I'm feeling like right now. Make any sense? This has been by far the worst evening since last dose on Sunday.
Hopefully I haven't brought anyone else down with me talking about all of this. I hate myself for allowing this habit to go one for so long. I guess I deserve everything I'm feeling right now!

John 808
01-30-2004, 06:11 PM
I so know that feeling about your hubby- I know I just praised mine and don't want to turn around and bad mouth him but they just don't understand!

I remember on day three of cold-turkey (and by the way, I have recently done on cold-turkey on this new med subutex, so, that is what I am referring to) I was vomitting my guts out (sorry, know that's gross) and he was rubbing my hair saying, "It's going to be okay...everything is alright..." I know he was just trying to help, but I wanted to say, "Are you freaking blind...I have vomitted all day, can't stop crying, shaking all over and all you can say is that it is going to be okay!" :) Poor thing!

I had a 25 day Norco/Lortab habit and ended up on the subutex and have just come off of it within the last two or three weeks. But it is an long lasting opiate as well and I have had one heck of a time with it!

How many did you get up to? your highest?
Michelle

sammi
01-30-2004, 07:07 PM
I feel guilty for whinning about our supportive husband's when I know there are people out there that are going through this by themselves and with kids on top of that. There are several people on this board that I wish I had half the strength of.
I was up to 8-10 Norco a day. But it was getting to a point where I was taking 3-4 at a time and that wasn't doing anything so I thought I better quit before I overdose on trying to get a high. From what I've read, it seems like the higher the number of pills taken in a day, the worse the withdrawals are. How long were you on the Norco's for? That really sucks that you are still so sick after coming off the subutex.

John 808
01-30-2004, 07:22 PM
I was prescribed Darvocet after the birth of my first child for migraine heahaches and used it properly. Sixteen months later, I had my second child. He was premature and a very sick baby. When he came home he had colic and never, ever slept. I was so sleep deprived and hormones raging and a sixteen month old on top of it all, that I kept a headache. They bumped me up to hydro then and that's when I noticed I was "supermom" on it...and it was all downhill from there (that was in 1999). I got pregnant in 2001 and stopped using the hydro and went back to Darvocet throughout my pregnancy for the headaches and never really had a problem, but my dosage was still pretty low back then. After my third was born, I went right back to abusing the hydro because of the "supermom" affect. It wasn't until several months ago that tolerance just shot up...one week I was at my usual ten and the next I was at 20! I am only 5'4 and about 115 lbs....don't know why I am not dead, just so thankful to God that I am not!

Started the sub in November and stayed on it about a month before I stopped it and went on a 2-3 week hydro binge! :eek: Went back to the sub several days later and just stayed on it about two weeks and got off. After I did the cold-turkey from the sub, I had a terrible experience on day 5 I think and got back on the sub. I was just taking on every 3 or 4 days, but haven't had any in 6 days, so I hope I just can continue to go without!

Hope you could understand all that craziness!

Please hang in there...depression is one of the main reasons alot of people cave and go back to using so be strong and know that it is only temporary. Are you on an anti-depressant by chance? I am! I think it has helped alot this go round! I always caved because of the lethargy and depression, but maybe with this anti-depressant...I won't!

There is light at the end of this (LONG, LONG) tunnel! :) Hang on!
Michelle

sammi
01-30-2004, 07:23 PM
Sammi, Congrats on getting off those things by yourself, its hard. I too have 3 kids and a hefty Lortab addiction. I am a chronic relapser and have chosen Suboxone to help me. I know what you mean about the bordom, I stay at home with my kids as well and I think somehow the way the pills makes you feel, it numbs the fact that you are alone, in a house surrounded by kids. No real life. (for me anyways)

I'm no expert by any means and I have never been able to beat it so I don't feel I can give any advise, but I wanted to say congrats, good luck and welcome to the board.
Sam


Hi Sam, I wanted to say thanks for the encouraging words. It has really helped me out during these last few days knowing that I'm not the only one going through this. Although, I don't wish this upon anyone.
So are you still taking Lortab or are you only on the Suboxone? Also, sorry I'm just replying back to you, I promise I did not see your post until a few minutes ago. Hope you had a good day.
Sammi

sammi
01-30-2004, 07:28 PM
hi sammi, creeky and michelle....to answer your questions, i was taking oxycodone 10/325..it was in german as i was living in europe at the time but it was 10mg oxycodone/ 325 mg aspirin (not APAP). i got up to between 10 and 15 a day, and how i didn't get an ulcer, i don't know. i now pay the price because i can't touch any kind of anti-inflammatory. makes me sick, and with my ever increasing back pain, i am at a loss. cannot take vioxx, celebrex either. makes me sick to my stomach. i stopped in 1988, when we returned to canada, as i knew i couldn't get them here as readily. plus i was damned scared. took them initially as a result of a car accident in 1984. so i used (ever increasingly) for 4 years(from the age of 26 to 30). quit when i knew we were coming home. looking back don't know how i got through it, was pretty sick for a couple of days...but i knew (or i was convinced) that i couldn't get them any more. i did have cravings, but i had no way to go back to my habit that i knew of so i just lived without them. after awhile the cravings just went away, i guess. haven't really thought about them in years until the doc mentioned them to me a while back as a solution to my severe back pain. have to admit it opened up a wound that i thought was long since healed. i know i can't go back there..period. but i know how it is for you guys, as i was there and i understand. i was lucky in that i had a very understanding husband (and still do), even though he didn't know the extent of the problem. please don't say that you're too weak to look elsewhere for pills, say you are too smart. whatever emotion keeps you clean, be it fear, shame, weakness..etc...it doesn't matter. staying clean does...strength to all of you, whichever method you choose to stay clean and may God ease the way...PS. never went to meetings because i was too much of a coward to go....


Upatnite58, thanks for all the information. I'm glad to know that someday I will get back to "normal", for whatever that may be! My Doctor did give me some samples of Vioxx. Do you think I should try those? Are should I just continue taking Advil and maybe give it a month or two of being clean and then start it?
Again, thanks for all the information.
Sammi

upatnite58
01-30-2004, 09:55 PM
hi guys...can't say to dismiss the vioxx, it heped me before i got the nausea, and i only wish i could continue on it. i am now looking at neurontin...know that you will reach a point that sub or even methadone is a viable alternative...and the hydro or oxy is not acceptable...godspeed in your recovery...

sadsister
01-31-2004, 06:50 AM
Sammi-
Just hold on-you are gonna make it thru!I think you are past the worst of it..in terms of the physical..the cravings/boredom are a tough one-but try to stay busy-but also i find pampering myself helps alot too.
A nice warm bubble bath at night/candles/inscence/some nice treats to munch/reading/comfy stuff..nice underthings..girly stuff..have you considered meeting AA/NA?They also can be helpful.
Stay strong..Goddess bless!
Heather :angel:

sammi
01-31-2004, 07:31 AM
I was prescribed Darvocet after the birth of my first child for migraine heahaches and used it properly. Sixteen months later, I had my second child. He was premature and a very sick baby. When he came home he had colic and never, ever slept. I was so sleep deprived and hormones raging and a sixteen month old on top of it all, that I kept a headache. They bumped me up to hydro then and that's when I noticed I was "supermom" on it...and it was all downhill from there (that was in 1999). I got pregnant in 2001 and stopped using the hydro and went back to Darvocet throughout my pregnancy for the headaches and never really had a problem, but my dosage was still pretty low back then. After my third was born, I went right back to abusing the hydro because of the "supermom" affect. It wasn't until several months ago that tolerance just shot up...one week I was at my usual ten and the next I was at 20! I am only 5'4 and about 115 lbs....don't know why I am not dead, just so thankful to God that I am not!

Started the sub in November and stayed on it about a month before I stopped it and went on a 2-3 week hydro binge! :eek: Went back to the sub several days later and just stayed on it about two weeks and got off. After I did the cold-turkey from the sub, I had a terrible experience on day 5 I think and got back on the sub. I was just taking on every 3 or 4 days, but haven't had any in 6 days, so I hope I just can continue to go without!

Hope you could understand all that craziness!

Please hang in there...depression is one of the main reasons alot of people cave and go back to using so be strong and know that it is only temporary. Are you on an anti-depressant by chance? I am! I think it has helped alot this go round! I always caved because of the lethargy and depression, but maybe with this anti-depressant...I won't!

There is light at the end of this (LONG, LONG) tunnel! :) Hang on!
Michelle


Good Morning,
Hope all is going well for you today. It's amazing how good I feel physically and mentally in the mornings, and it's not like I'm getting a wonderful nights sleep! It's amazing you're still alive after taking so many pills! How many would you take at one time? That was always a concern for myself, because just like you, I'm only 5'1 and 105 lbs. Although since I have stopped taking them I swear I've gained some weight. I can NOT stop eating. My husband keeps telling me that I have starved my body for the last 2 and 1/2 years which is probably true since I would only eat right before I went to bed and I had to make myself eat. I had NO appetite while on the Norcos.
It sounds like you are doing so good yourself about staying clean. Please just hang in there! I'm not on anything for the depression because I keep telling myself that these little episodes of feeling down will HOPEFULLY fade quickly and I won't need any medication. I've never had a problem with depression in the past and I hope this will not be a long term issue!
I hope you have a really good day and just remember, if you get back on them, you're going to die! (At least that's what I keep telling myself)

sammi
01-31-2004, 07:40 AM
Hi Heather, Yes, I agree with the pampering thing. I'm gonna go and try to get a massage today. I have also found taking the long hot bubble baths comforting along with LOTS of food right now.
I have not yet been to any meetings. I've been thinking about going, and wondering if going is also part of this recovery. Do you think it's a necessity?
At what point did you feel "normal" again? Thanks for all the advice.

Sammi

yinksy
01-31-2004, 09:52 AM
Sammi
Yes - pampering is wonderful for the spiritual well-being. Loads of bubble baths, hair conditioning etc. And eating........ YES!
On a more serious note - yes - I would urge you to go along to a meeting. What have you to lose? And you have everything to gain. Understanding from people who feel exactly as you do, support and unconditional love. Think about it.
Y

sammi
01-31-2004, 06:14 PM
Yinksy, I guess you're right about going to NA. I really hadn't thought about it until I started reading on this board and saw how many recommend it. I might give it a try. I know my husband would not have a problem with me going, it's just I am so busy with three kids I don't know when I would find the time.
By the way, you have a great sense of humor even though I don't catch onto all of your jokes, but that could be because I have blonde hair and not to mention mentally I'm feeling somewhat "slow" these days.! Ha!

Thanks,
Sammi

John 808
01-31-2004, 07:07 PM
Hey Sammi,

Hope your day went well. My five year old had two birthday parties today...so my day with spent with five year old little girls! :)

I had to take some sub today! I was so lethargic and dragging....but atleast I made it 6 days instead of the usual 4....so, I'll just try to continue to space the time out.

Again, hope you made it through your day! Your lucky you don't have to deal with depression....that makes things all the more difficult!

Take care and talk with ya later,
michelle

rosietee
01-31-2004, 07:35 PM
Hi, Sammi, I have not been too active the last couple days, so I am catching up, but I have two kids 17 months apart and can relate to alot you are going through. I am tapering down and will be off by mid-March. I was taking in excess of 20-25 hydro 10/325's per day, probably more. You are so fortunate to have such a supportive husband. Mine was very angry when he found out (especially about all the money I spent on OP's) and when I want to go to a meeting, he doesn't seem very approving. I have only been to one so far. I wanted to go to one last night, but our girls are sick and since I have been gone taking classes, he didn't want me to go.

Michelle, I am so happy for you making it through 6 days. I can totally understand what you must have gone through with the dentist experience. When you actually have pain, it is like a double hurdle. That is so amazing that you had the strength to flush the rest. You are just getting stronger and stronger in your recovery.

I am taking less and less, though not as far as I am supposed to be. I know my brain's chemistry is all screwed up and it will take time after getting these drugs out of my system to feel normal, but it will happen. I took an hour seminar about addiction, which was very informative. Basically our minds are wired to crave these drugs. They talked about the difference between addiction and abuse. And I am definitely addicted. Also, it is progressive disease that will kill you if you don't seek recovery and if you go down your whole family goes down with you. I am in tears just writing this. Didn't mean to be so depressing.

You guys are my support and inspiration right now. Thanks so much.
rosie