View Full Version : New baby on the way and I want to be a good parent

12-08-2004, 02:25 PM
I have been through counselling since I was 12 for one reason or another. I am expecting in May and it is my first child. I am lucky that I waited because I would have lost my child during my drug addiction. I want so badly to be a good parent and not have my child make the same mistakes I did. I am so excited and feel like I am so blessed to be having a child. Me and my husband are both recovering heroin addicts. We have been clean for three years. I feel ready for the first time in my life. I think about how stict I will be all the time and analyze all the time what I see others do that are mistakes. Do you think that a recovering drug addict that has undergone a million hours of counseling can be a healthy parent?

12-08-2004, 03:23 PM
Sure you can be a good parent. I think the more we experience in life, and hopefully learn from it, the more we can pass on. I remember when I was little and had a cousin that "had" to get married which was a big no no in those days. We all wondered why my Grandmother didn't really seem upset. When she passed away and we were going through her things, we found my Grandparents marriage certificate. Seems they didn't get married until several months after the date that they told everyone all those years!

12-08-2004, 03:36 PM
First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on the baby-on-the-way!!!! AND.....a HUGE congratulations on 3 yrs. of sobriety, that is so AWESOME!!! With that much desire to stay clean and sober, that much commitment, willpower, & determination..I have NO DOUBTS in my mind that you both can and will be TERRIFIC parents!!! I'm a Mother of 5 BEAUTIFUL, AWESOME, WONDERFUL children..... but sadly, my addiction to pain pills didn't begin until after the birth of baby #4 (I stopped after about 4 months of taking 10-15 pills a day, then got pregnant with baby #5....after a difficult birth, a horrible C-section, and lots of complications from my Crohn's disease...I became a full-fledged pain pill addict shortly after having my last baby). I finally have an appt. tomorrow with a Sub. doctor. I'm so excited about that, as I can finally get on with my life and be the parent I need and want to be to my children. Even taking the pills, I've been a complete "hands on" Mommy though...I'm at the kids' school on a daily basis volunteering in their classrooms, doing book fairs, etc...and my husband & I both coach the kids' soccer & T-ball teams. BUT...I know if I keep up this little "charade" of mine, all of that will crumble soon. I think you have so much life experience, so much knowledge and as you mentioned..tons of counceling~ all of these things will enable you to be a SUPER parent. I have no doubt about that! In fact, because of your past experiences, and the things you have learned from them...you will most likely be a BETTER, more intuitive, more involved parent than those that have never touched a drug in their lives. You have lived so much "life" already, and because of that..I truly believe that you will be so forever grateful for this wonderful blessing from God, and you will not take this child for granted...as so many people do these days. You know that you have been given a second chance in life by getting and STAYING clean, and now you are about to experience the most WONDERFUL thing on this earth...being a Mommy!!!! I wish you only the very, very best..and I hope you will stick around and get to know us all better (and allow us to do the same with you!). I would also love to hear all about your new baby, and how it all goes. But like I said time and time again...I have no doubts that you will make a super Momma!!! Best of luck and please keep us all updated!!!!!

Much love,

12-09-2004, 07:44 AM
Thanks you guys. I think I will make a great mom too. I just don't want to pass the mentall stuff on to my child. Good luck with the sub. I have heard good things about it but it was never around when I was junking.