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View Full Version : Husband Oxy addiction / Wife Miscarried


Proward
02-18-2005, 07:01 AM
Quick question. My wife and I have a very healthy, vibrant, smart, happy 31 month old son (2 1/2 years old). We are trying for another and my wife got pregnant back during the end of November. Well, we ended up having a miscarriage a couple of weeks into December.

My wife is healthy and teaches excercise. She is diet concious and eats properly. We know that we can have healthy children cause we have one.

I started using oxys during the summer of 2003. Very sporadically at first but, to summarize, I had a 20mg a day and 40mg to 60mg on weekend days oxy habit for 1 1/2 years. This past November / December, I started doing between 80mgs to 140mgs a day. I quit cold turkey on January 2. Since then, I have done them sporadically and infrequently, but I still do them from time to time.

My habit is small compared to many that I have read about but it is defenitely an addiction, none the less.

Could my use of Oxys have caused my healthy wife to have a miscarriage? Our Doctor said that it is just nature at work and miscarriages are fairly common in healthy couples. I have had several friends who have had miscarriages and then had healthy babies or had healthy babies and then had a miscarriage so it is way more common than I had thought.

I often think that my Oxy habit caused my wife to miscarry. I don't know but I would be devestated if I ever found out that it was the reason. I plan on talking to my doctor about it at my next appointment.

As for my own struggles with addicition, I take a few giant steps forward and a couple of steps back. My use is nothing like it was before the first of the year but I still use. I am fighting this addiction and getting better all the time. It is hard but worth it.

Any input you might have would be appreciated.

Thanks.

Phil

noobie
02-18-2005, 07:14 AM
Hey, I am 19 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend has a sever addiction to Oxy's. It wasn't your fault!!

valleygurl
02-18-2005, 07:18 AM
Phil, Rest assured i highly doubt your oxy use had anything to do with her miscarriage. As the dr has already said, it was just nature at work. I am in the medical profession and i worked for several years in a high risk Labor and Delivery facility. I have seen woman who were addicted and used cocaine throughout their whole pregnancy and carry their babies to term having them born healthy of course with the exception of the baby going into withdrawals shortly after birth. In these cases we are talking direct use, mom to fetus. In your case if you believe that your drug use may have caused the miscarriage it would have been from "per se" defective sperm..... highly unlikely. I wouldnt worry about it.
Everything happens for a reason, just trust in faith that all has worked out for the best, even though I imagine it was a very painful event to go through.
Keep your chin up, keep getting up and dusting yourself off and keep trying to get clean and drug free!!!! Good Luck!

ValleyGurl

Proward
02-18-2005, 07:59 AM
THANKS, Valleygurl! You don't know how much your response means to me. I needed to hear that. My wife and I are eager and ready to get started, creating our next bundle of joy. My wife said told me this morning:

"We should get started. When would be good for you ;) ?"

I said,

"Tonight. And we should probably do it several times a day until your belly starts to rise." :D

I am so ready to have another.

Thanks for your post again. It has made my weekend.

P

Toribelle
02-18-2005, 08:39 AM
Don't use it as an excuse to keep using - because you are right - you have a fairly small habit compared to a lot of us but it's just a step away from ruining your life just the same.

The truth is that some 50% of conceptions miscarry - most of the time the woman never even knows she conceives. It's very very common and the fact that you have one perfect baby does mean that the chances are very high of you having another one! Or many for that matter....

Tori

valleygurl
02-18-2005, 09:19 AM
Hey Phil, Dont mention it!!! I will make sure and think of you and your wife tonight! :D lol I wish the two of you all the best!

ValleyGurl

Proward
02-18-2005, 09:38 AM
I am sorry if I came across as using it as an excuse for still using. I am still using not because of any one thing but because I am addicted, truly addicted to drugs. Not just Oxys but any opiate I can get my hands on. I have also had a 15 year recreational and occassional addiction to crack and powder cocain and I have been drinking alcohol for 20 years.

I know what drug addiction can do and how it can ruin lives. I have seen it, been a part of it, lived it.

You're right. If I'm not careful, even the relatively small amounts of OCs I am using can have big and disastrous effects.

I have been in the game way long enough to know.

Thanks for the reply.

P

Toribelle
02-18-2005, 10:33 AM
Proward -

I hope I didn't come across as scolding - I wasn't. I'm on day 3 clean today so I'm not the best in articulation. I just meant to be careful. My true meaning behind my pots was to tell you that you shouldn't hold that responsibility on yourself - as a fellow addict I know we have plenty we really CAN balme on ourselves - we don't need to take on nature's will too! :)

I see your past has been full of lessons. I can relate only too well at feeling the need to take some kind of drug to cope. I've been a user technically since I was about 12. That's when I began to drink sometimes. Then on and on. People like us have never lived sober. Sure - we might have gone a few years here and there or not been "addicted" but we still ran to something to "party" or let loose. right? Then at some point I hurt myself and found my best friend - the opiate! All down hill from there.

I'm taking my baby steps on my first REAL try at sobriety. I know it's differrent this time because I'm doing things I only thought of before. I told someone in real life. Then this morning I told my husband that I was a drug addict and that I needed his help to stay away from anything that the "GOOD" doctor doesn't give me. Next who knows - maybe I'll even walk into a meeting.

I wish you the very very best Proward!
Tori

Proward
02-18-2005, 11:11 AM
And I wish you the very best, TorriBelle. Thanks for your kind posts. Those of us who have found these boards and use them need to stick together for support. It is a commonality which binds us together. Drugs, alcohol, whatever it is. I have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on my addictions. I have stolen from friends and family, I was getting coked up the night my brother's kid was born and he told me the only thing he really wanted was for me to be there with him when it happened (he is my twin brother). I was too busy sniffing that crap. I have done some really, really bad stuff while on drugs.

But, my son and my wife and my black lab and my family and my friends make the rough road a little easier and although I struggle (often on a day to day basis) to stay clean, I am strong and getting stronger all the time.

I wish you luck and encouragement and hope and power and strength. Fight the good fight.

Phil