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View Full Version : Husband has a gambling addiction.


Jess75
06-07-2005, 03:45 PM
Hi,
My husband know that I lurk these boards and lately, he has been frequently going to this casino near by and since he won $5000, and continued to win here and there after that, he became hooked. He lost all of his winnings,and more in addition to that. I know there are meetings like gamblers anonymous but before he left for work tonight he said, "Will you post something about my gambling addiction to see what people say?" I told him that everyone is probably going to say to get help and go to meetings but he still wants me to do it anyways. It's kinda ruining our relationship and financial status and any advice or stories about how you or a loved one or friend got out of it, please let me know. Thanks
I hope gambling is "allowed" on this board. :confused: THank you

klm9851
06-30-2005, 06:58 PM
Sounds like we have the same problem. Mine too is an internet gambler - just last night he lost $1000.00. Trouble is where there is one addiction another one is usually lurking. Mine has 4 - drinking, gambling, pot and porn. Get your husband help before it's too late especially if he is willing. My husband won $56,000.00 once - paid off bills and turned around and within months all the credit cards were maxed again. Once this happenes they turn into qorse monsters than before. They gamble more and at higher amounts each time chasing that big win again - which of course will in all likelyhood will never happen. Good Luck

Nervous Nellie
07-01-2005, 07:08 AM
Jessicca,

Gambling is certainly an addiction. I used to date a gambler and thank goodness I got out of it once I found out. The casinos rely on this compulsion to make their own money. This guy I used to date had free meals, hotel, etc...unfortunately he wasn't a millionaire to begin with, so his funds quickly ran out. The casinos will treat someone like a king or queen, until their money runs out...

If your husband wants facts and figures to support that no one ever got rich by gambling, then he can find those stats. Only the rich can afford to play the high stakes, and as "klm" mentioned, her husband won a huge sum which may have caused him to think he was on a lucky streak. Well, we all know how that can happen, especially to a person with an existing addictive personality. Does your own husband have other addictions as well?

I guess things like playing the stock market are similar forms of gambling, but most folks don't put all their financial eggs into one basket, so to speak. The market crash in '29 sure did cause a lot of suicides.

Personally, I LOVE to gamble! Whenever I go on a trip and play the casinos I allow myself a certain amount of "fun money" which I am prepared to lose. Therefore, I get the thrill of the gambling, but within a safe parameter. Sort of like going on a roller coaster ride in the amusement park...it's thrilling, but generally safe.

Once your husband crosses that line where more money than he actually has, is being placed into this gamble, then he has a problem, definitely! It's sort of like shopaholics who can't stop shopping...heck, I even know people who are addicted to the Shopping Network!

The thrill of it all is so enticing, but ODDS ARE most definitely, that luck runs out and most people (like my ex-boyfriend) can't walk away after they've won. Allotting oneself say, a couple of hundred dollars a month for gambling/entertainment is one thing...borrowing from Peter to pay Paul is quite another. It sounds as if that's what your husband is doing. It sounds as if he will never be able to walk away.

As I said, I LOVE gambling! Last time I played the slots, I won about $700 bucks...gave half of it to the friend I was with (that was the deal) and used the rest to purchase something I really wanted. But the only reason that I still had that $700 bucks at the end of the day...is because I walked away. :)

Please encourage your husband to recognize that if he's putting you guys into financial debt because of his gambling, then he does have a problem in that he won't be able to walk away when he's ahead.

I hesitate to wish you luck LOL...because that is what gambling is based on, but I truly do hope he can get a handle on this.

Nell
:)

P.S. In no way am I suggesting this as a substitute, but there are also lots of free contests on the internet where no purchase is required. If the thrill of luck and winning is the main reason your husband does this, he may want to consider that as a safer outlet to satisfy the thrill? Granted winning a BBQ isn't as great as pure cash, but at least you have no risk of losing what you already have. Just make sure you don't give permission to the sponsors to be on their mailing lists, make sure they are recognized and valued entities, or you will be bombarded with junk mail! LOL I like to enter contests sponsored by my local TV stations for example, or by well-known companies whose reputations are beyond refute.

Jess75
07-04-2005, 11:02 AM
Hi guys,
Thank you so much for the replys. Well, he banned himself from every casino in West Virginia(which is close to us and that's where he was going)and I thought it was all over for a few weeks. Well, last week or so he went to Atlantic CIty(won $1600) and lost only a little since he had that money to gamble. So then I thought it was all over because I didn't think that he wanted to take a bus very often because of the 8 hour drive. Well, yesterday he found a place in Ohio which is 2 hrs away and gambled $2500 dollars!!! At least he doesn't gamble the bill money(yet) but he gambles ALL of his spending money. He was very upset all day yesterday and he is really draining my energy. Hopefully this stops, and unfortunately, he doesn't want to go to meetings. All I can do is hope and pray. Thank you for the responses!
Jess

smartgal
08-16-2005, 12:27 PM
I have a problem as well. I cannot just gamble away 20 dollars and go home. I keep thinking I can win back my money if I just play the right machine. Stupid, I know. Obviously they haven't build two new casinos because they've lost money. I ended up getting rid of my credit cards and just cut up my debit card. I'm going to have to write checks for everything, even then, I'm going to leave my checkbook at home when I go anywhere around a casino, just in case. Using a debit card is way too easy. In my state, there are casinos all over thanks to the Native American tribes.

It's going to be a struggle. But if anyone has other tips on how to avoid temptation or at least make it extremely difficult for yourself, please let me know.

GatsbyLuvr1920
08-16-2005, 02:04 PM
My (biological) father also has a gambling addiction and probably is an alcoholic, but he won't admit that he needs help- I believe he also has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which fuels his pride and the feeling that he's "special." When my mother and I were still with him, we were always in debt and buying lavish things we didn't need. He'd go out every night to business dinners, wining and dining clients with Dom Perignon and filet mignon. Then we noticed that he was taking a lot of "business" trips to Vegas and getting cash advances. Well, a couple years after we got rid of him, we find out that he filed for bankruptcy in order to get out of paying all of his credit card and gambling debts. Funny how he still got to keep his expensive condo, high-paying job, and flashy car, though... Hmmm... Then last year we got several calls from collection agencies. It seems that he bought a 2000 Ford Explorer that needed to be repossessed, and he told them that my mother had it! Before this, we learned from another phone call that he wasn't paying for a $20,000 grand piano that he bought. (I find this hilarious, by the way, because he doesn't even know how to play a piano! Really shows how bad the addiction is, doesn't it?) Why didn't he sell this useless item during the bankruptcy? That would have given him 20 grand to live on... I think that gambling addictions are one of the worst because it's very secretive. Obviously, after heavy drug or alcohol use, physical symptoms begin to show, or the person may start acting strangely. With gambling, however, the person's whole life is a facade- trying to keep up the image that they're successful while they don't have two dimes to run together...
-GatsbyLuvr1920-

smartgal
08-17-2005, 10:46 AM
That's the funny thing about gambling. The idea of getting rich appeals to me, but then again, if I was rich, I would probably just gamble more. Recent studies indicate that it may be due to a brain chemical and a reward system in the brain that responds to gambling (particularly winning, and particularly the machines). I believe that gambling is an illness, not just an addiction.

GatsbyLuvr1920
08-18-2005, 01:50 PM
I agree. I think that all addiction's are due to some chemical imbalance. True, if you don't start, then you can't become addicted, but I believe that people who are predisposed to addiction simply can't stay away...
-GatsbyLuvr1920-