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View Full Version : Boyfriend does Cocaine - how can I help him to stop?


confusedandsad
12-30-2005, 04:33 AM
My b/f does cocaine - he says for fun - but wants to quit. Is there anything I can do to help? What should he expect from quitting? Are there any withdrawal symptoms?

Also, in general, how does coke make you feel? Why do people do it? And, what is lacking that makes you need to do it?

Thanks

angelsway
12-30-2005, 06:15 AM
I sympathize with you sweetie... I myself was addicted to coke for a while and at first I did it because it was fun. There's this euphoric high I got with the first couple of lines but after that it sucks. You're just putting more and more into your system chasing that first high and not getting it but you feel like you need to do something. Coming down off of coke is tough if you don't have anything (alcohol or another drug) to come down with but I know for me it wasn't a physical addiction at all, it was all mental and I was using it to escape my life. My reality sucked but it was ok all messed up. A lot of detox's won't take people addicted to coke because your body doesn't withdraw physically like with some pills or heroin. Also if he says he's doing it for fun but wants to quit, it can't be that much fun anymore... We don't want to stop things that aren't a problem. I don't think there necessarily needs to be anything lacking in someone's life to want to try coke but once you experience that high, the mental obsession is so hard to control. At least for me it was. I'm not sure about any meds he could take to substitute and kind of wean himself off but I would definitely suggest for him to go to an NA or AA meeting. You'll find people who were/are addicted to coke in both places and they'll probably be able to help him. I've been sober in recovery for almost two years because of my AA group. It'll be good for him anyway to be around people who understand exactly what he's going through who will be able to give him suggestions on what to do.. I've seen AA save so many lives, it's nothing short of a miracle:) Keep posting sweetie, you don't have to go through this alone:) angela

confusedandsad
12-30-2005, 12:20 PM
I sympathize with you sweetie... I myself was addicted to coke for a while and at first I did it because it was fun. There's this euphoric high I got with the first couple of lines but after that it sucks. You're just putting more and more into your system chasing that first high and not getting it but you feel like you need to do something. Coming down off of coke is tough if you don't have anything (alcohol or another drug) to come down with but I know for me it wasn't a physical addiction at all, it was all mental and I was using it to escape my life. My reality sucked but it was ok all messed up. A lot of detox's won't take people addicted to coke because your body doesn't withdraw physically like with some pills or heroin. Also if he says he's doing it for fun but wants to quit, it can't be that much fun anymore... We don't want to stop things that aren't a problem. I don't think there necessarily needs to be anything lacking in someone's life to want to try coke but once you experience that high, the mental obsession is so hard to control. At least for me it was. I'm not sure about any meds he could take to substitute and kind of wean himself off but I would definitely suggest for him to go to an NA or AA meeting. You'll find people who were/are addicted to coke in both places and they'll probably be able to help him. I've been sober in recovery for almost two years because of my AA group. It'll be good for him anyway to be around people who understand exactly what he's going through who will be able to give him suggestions on what to do.. I've seen AA save so many lives, it's nothing short of a miracle:) Keep posting sweetie, you don't have to go through this alone:) angela

Thank you so much for responding - I really appreciate it.

My b/f is a really good guy and I think he's at an impasse in life - trying to figure out whats good and bad in his life. I don't do any kind of drugs and he is desperately in love with me and feels such guilt and shame from his coke usuage, like he's letting me down or disappointing me - so he wants to phase it out of his life. I told him to do it for himself, not for me but he said that I'm just the catalyst he needed to quit anyway. He works in an industry where its prevalent and readily available so it might prove difficult to avoid it when all his colleagues and friends are doing it

I try to be as supportive as I can and remind him that I love him regardless and that if he quits he should do it for himself.

kitcat26
12-31-2005, 07:35 AM
i was once addicted to speed.....i tried the coke but didnt like it because you spend more money trying to stay high.....but i do know that i was experimenting and it became a fun thing and then i noticed i was dropping weight fast and that became more appealing for me......i have been clean from that since two months before i got preg with my now two and a half yr old daughter....see the man i was with at the time came between my husband and me...but i let him due to the drugs.......long story but i woke up one day after realizing how the drugs were really affecting our life and relationship.....one i stopped i realized i was only with this guy for the drugs......well making a long story short i am back with my husband who is the father of our two yr old............what i have noticed is i do think about it more so now do to gaining my weight back with my pregnancy......but i do not have access to the drug and you cant just ask anyone so i end up forgetting and moving on.....
the only thing i can suggest is you support him and when i say this i mean you first tell him that if he truely wants to quit then he must first begin finding a new job.....help him with this....help him look and make sure he is doing this.......if he can find a new job he can begin the sober road to success.......but he has to go where he has no access and you must make sure he doesnt go meet anyone from his old job.........tell him you will support him....listen to him......try and keep him occupied......take a road trip together.....do things to keep away from the old habbits.....try new things....give him something else you both can do together like going to the gym and make that your new habit.......
right now im battling with pain meds and although some say they can help remember this affects us all diff and could make things worse...are you willing to risk that.....a new drug addiction???? my pregnancy was enough for me to quit but im sure that is because i had tried for five yrs to get pregnant.......everything does happen for a reason......just be patient and be supportive that is the main thing.....if my hubby wasnt there for me i wouldnt be able to get thru it then and now.......best of luck to you and your boyfriend........it wont be easy...but it will happen with support and time....please keep in touch :angel:

ahickey1
12-13-2007, 01:45 PM
Kitcat is right. I battled coke for 5 years. You HAVE TO cut everyone thats doing out of your life. I lost many friends some say weren't really friends. They weren't that important, my life was. Your boyfriend needs to realize before he quits he can never see those people again. As long as someone that is doing it is around he won't be able to stop. Those people are considered triggers. I tried to go back and talk to old friends and you know what was the first thing we talked about, yeap, coke. The next thing you know your hands are sweating. Good luck.