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View Full Version : My boyfriend is addicted to Heroin and Crack.


ash6567
01-17-2006, 05:25 PM
I met him 4 years ago back at college. It was love at first sight (not to sound too corny). He had everything, the looks the friends. He had it all. We got together and after college I ended up moving to where he lived. I always knew he dabbled into drugs but things just got out of hand, and now I'm just scared.

He started doing heroin about 6months ago, because oxycontins got too expensive. He would do it everyday and not sleep. He would steal money and bonds from his parents, then eventually he started to steal my ATM card while I was asleep. I tried to do all I could do help him. I guess I was stupid because I didn't want to lose him. I should of told his parents I should of done more.

Well, he started to slow down on the heroin because his parents found all of the needles, so he started smoking crack and not sleeping, and still stealing. His parents made him go to a doctor who gave him seboxin, which made him feel like he can smoke crack, shoot heroin, and never go through withdrawel because of the seboxin.

My boyfriend's parents flew him to Utah this morning to go to rehab. I was devastated that I could not help the one person I loved. When he comes back , his mom says they are moving. I feel like I let him down, and now I will not be able to be with the one I love. I know this is selfish of me, but I really don't know where to turn. I want him to get well and get his life back more than anything, but it hurts and i feel like I am losing him. I just wanted to talk to someone who understands what I am going through. To love an addict and not know how to help.

sad,mum
01-17-2006, 05:39 PM
you cant help sweetheart,only he can help himself so dont beat yourself up on this one,if its meant to be he will come back when he is clean,sad,mum

ash6567
01-17-2006, 05:42 PM
i feel like i have to do something, because i cant stop crying, I just feel like I could of done something. I can't describe how i feel right now, im just so lost, because when he would come to me shaking telling me how he needed money and it would be his last time, i gave it to him because i didnt want him to hurt.

i was so wrong

sad,mum
01-17-2006, 05:54 PM
please read my threads ash bc just like you love your boyfriend i love my daughter and only now is she showing me respect-bc i got tough-it is not your fault,stay stong,love yourself and most of all dont blame yourself,sad,mum

ash6567
01-17-2006, 06:06 PM
i understand what you are saying, it's just 2 long years of my heart breaking and watching my boyfriend kill himself. I thank god that he is finally in rehab but part of me is scared half to death for him to come home. I don't think I have it in me to see him relapse. I just don't know how to act when he gets back or how to prepare myself if he does do drugs again, do I leave him do I torture myself watching him hurt everyone around him as well as himself? im just scared and very sad, thanks for posting back

sad,mum
01-17-2006, 06:27 PM
well ash you have got to get on with your life,when the bf comes home he might be well amd strong and finished with drugs do you want to be a quivering wreck on the other hand he may go straight back to drugs and you might be well and strong enough to walk away,your choice,your life,but look after yourself girl youre worth it,

Constant
01-17-2006, 08:02 PM
The best help you can be to him is to walk away and take care of you. I would strongly suggest you get into a program for friends/lovers/spouses/etc of alcoholic/addicts. You too suffer from living with this for so long and your thinking is skewed.

You must help yourself.

dream life
01-18-2006, 06:45 AM
I am so sorry ash. I have also known someone who had sub and only used them until they had something so they wouldn't go through the w/d. That's not the way to use them.

I know how hard it is to loose someone you truely love and not know what the future holds for the two of you. I think it's probably best for him what his parents did, as painful as it is for you. He needs to get clean and he obviously wasn't going to do it without some help. I just hope that he is willing to take this help and straighten out his life!

Could you write to him? Let him know how proud your are of him for doing this & wish him the best.

Good luck, hon. :)

BACKFROMHELL
01-18-2006, 12:36 PM
ash, I know what you are going through to the T. Can I put it this way? Did you fall in love with the person he is right now? I doubt it. You probably kept wondering when the old him would just pop back up. You hold on to a thought or a memory of someone that most certainly not be coming back! Even if he gets clean and stays that way, he will have to change everything he is and knows to beat this thing. SO, what do you do in the mean time? Go check out local Al-anon meetings. They will at least help you understand him and what he has and will have to go through. I think that you are doing a nice thing for him by sticking around through all of this.. but I have to warn you, sometimes its not the best for you.. maybe you should think about that if he doesn't seem to want this as much as you think he does? Just telling it like it was for me! You should tell him you are proud of him and if you understand that it is going to be hard, then tell him that too! I hope you make it through to the other side, its so much better over here (ps. I was in a dual addiction relationship and when I got clean he did too..then he relapsed.. and relapsed.. and relapsed...so don't let my sour *** kill your joy!)
T.

ash6567
01-18-2006, 02:03 PM
God, it's only day 2, and I'm a mess. I just hope he's ok. All I do is worry what life is going to be like when he gets out. It's like I dedicated so much of my life to him and our relationship. I can't explain the feellings I have, I just feel very weird. I feel like I don't know anything, I feel lost I guess. I fear that we won't ever be the same, and your right, He turned into someone I didn't know. I just pray I get him back. It sucks too, becase I moved here for him, so I know no one here, so it's even more depressing being alone. I plan to go home every weekend to be with my friends and family in the mean time. I dunno, I don't even know what to say anymore

ash6567
01-18-2006, 02:03 PM
God, it's only day 2, and I'm a mess. I just hope he's ok. All I do is worry what life is going to be like when he gets out. It's like I dedicated so much of my life to him and our relationship. I can't explain the feellings I have, I just feel very weird. I feel like I don't know anything, I feel lost I guess. I fear that we won't ever be the same, and your right, He turned into someone I didn't know. I just pray I get him back. It sucks too, becase I moved here for him, so I know no one here, so it's even more depressing being alone. I plan to go home every weekend to be with my friends and family in the mean time. I dunno, I don't even know what to say anymore