View Full Version : I am so naive-son was still using!

05-02-2006, 01:37 PM
As you know my son went to a non-medical rehab Sunday and that yesterday he wanted to see a doctor for xanax, anxiety meds, I said no to paying the fee because he has a drug problem.

Well, today, tuesday, I get a call from a hospital because they are trying to admit him because he is suicidal. (He is detoxing!)

Rehab said my son never detoxed before he came to them (which he said he was clean for 7 days) and he was coming down off of something yesterday.

I believed him when he said he was withdrawing all last week.

I believed the person he was staying with all last week was lieing to me when they said he was on something and had to leave. My son allowed me to put down that person to make himself look better.

End result, I will keep in touch with the hospital so I can keep rehab informed of when my son is coming back but I will not call my son. My son can stay in rehab for the 6 weeks I plan on paying to keep him there and he WILL not hear from me.

He is a liar. I put down someone (the person he was staying with) for no good reason. I can't get over that.

05-02-2006, 02:03 PM
keep your son away from xanax. It's the last drug you want him taking.

05-02-2006, 03:23 PM
cram...i dont get the whole pic...he went to a nice rehab...had a anxiety attack which they know is dirrectly related to his opiate addiction...son/rehab..not sure wanted xanax....that would be a no-no ,especially if they are there to help him kick....they know better than to start him on any benzo's,except librium....now,today,hes showing up in a hospital...cant rehab handle his daily health issues?...how is he jumpung from rehab to a hospital....i dont understand...you cannot trust what your son is telling you at this time...he is/was supposedly in w/d's and now is...if he waqs off the methadone for 8 days,he could have been usin benzos...xanax,valium to mask the w/d effects or using opiates...pillls/pain meds to subside his w/d's...thwe way i look at it,he must have decieved the rehab...but that should have been suspected on there part...also...what do you mean by that you put doewn the folks he was staying at?.....chef

05-02-2006, 04:47 PM
so sorry cram it sounded like it was over,but hang on in all is not lost hes away from the influences and stands a good chance now,dont understand all the meds like chef does,but that guy gives good advice and i sure would like him on my team,keep calm cos us mums are so emotional because they are our babies and cuase us so much hurt and anger and im sure the guy you put down will understand,your son is behaving like every other addict,no worse,thinking of you sad mum

05-02-2006, 05:17 PM
Chef, guess I bounced all over the place.

Rehab place sent my son to hospital, he was threatening to hurt himself. What choice did they have. Xanax is my sons drug of choice, he wanted it. He knows how to harass until he gets his way, he never gives in.

Regarding the folks he was staying with...it was his sister. She told me he was on something and wanted him out. Out of loyalty to my son, she won't give me details. But my son convinced me he was detoxing all week and hadn't touched anything.

His sister has a sibling riverly with him, that he doesn't feel towards her. That is why I thought she was trying to make him look bad to me. I put her down to my son and shouldn't have. My son allowed me to do so, never sticking up for her. But who is the liar here? They both lie so well to me. And WHY isn't she telling me anything when it could save his life?

I called the hospital to see if my son was admitted, unknown to me they connected me to him.

He said the emergency room docotrs were surprised he was still standing because meth is the hardest thing to detox off of and he was still detoxing 8 days later. Of course THIS is coming from my son. But rehab said he was coming down off something, they should know shouldn't they? A special doctor was coming in to see him.

He was mad I wasn't sympathetic, I just can't be, I didn't even want to talk to him. He said his head isn't right. He will con them into medicating him but they have to know he was in rehab before getting there.

I hope this was more understandable. Sorry so long! I don't know what they are going to do with him or put him. I will wait to find out.

Once again I am confused and I am tired of being my age and confused!

anton botha
05-02-2006, 09:28 PM
read up about Ibogaine its is a drug that releaves the w/d and stops the cravings after one treatment.

05-03-2006, 07:29 AM
It got to the point with my son that I assumed everything he said was a lie. It's really the drugs that are convincing his brain to do this. Once he gets clean the lying will stop. I understand your anger towards him but all drug addicts lie. Until he is clean don't believe anything he says. It's the drugs talking. If he is suicidal the rehab place probably thought he was safer in a hospital. They will probably send him to a psyche ward which is where my son ended up at one time. I did make my son sign a form giving the doctors permission to talk to me because he was over 18 years old.

I know this is taking a lot out of you. There were times when I wished I wouldn't wake up in the morning. I didn't know if I could face another day. It's so hard to watch your child destroy himself.

05-03-2006, 10:49 AM
Well....my son has been xanax clean for 18 days. He was coming down off them and had hit rock bottom. My husband and I had cut him off completely. All he had was his addicted girlfriend. He got really scared and wanted to come home. We said OK. He broke down and told us everything. I took him to my doctor and they tapered him off xanax in 2 weeks. he did great! Still doing great. He had anxiety attacks too. They scared him so badly that when my huband was out of town, he slept with me. Everytime he felt the anxiety coming, I took his hands and began to pray. Immediately the attack left. He was amazed and continued to do this. He got his old job back that he loved. Passed a drug test!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! after 2 weeks!! He is feeling great. His attitude is unbelieveable. He has written off the girlfriend, after we found out she was going online and trying to open accounts in his name..using his SS number and all. He is prosecuting her.........she's still using xanax and selling them. she's a loser....but he would never listen to us. Now he sees the light, and he sees what God has done in his life. the apartment they moved into, was in his name, the manager called and said she wants him off the lease (girlfriend taking over lease) and we are going to sign papers to that effect Saturday. Little do they know, they are doing him a great favor..had he broke the lease it would have cost him $4000.........girlfriend still doesn't know he found out it was her using his idenity. We're not telling her until the police show up at HER apartment. My son has also started counseling, once a week, and loves it. So, don't give up hope, keep praying for your son...but don't give into him until he's ready to stop using. Had my son not come home and spilled his guts, we would not have helped him at all............and he knows that....I'll be praying for you and your son!!!!

05-03-2006, 11:24 AM
cram315 --I was just listening to some new music and thought of you. Have your son listen to or read the words to the new Pearl Jam song " come back". It will bring tears to your eyes how true the words are to your story and to many of ours. You can find the song on iTunes. hang in there --there will be brighter days.

05-04-2006, 01:11 PM
flintrock and meddguy, it's funny how easily it is to get all choked up when you read someone's post. Thank you for sharing and thinking of me.

Flintrock, 18 days is great. I feel your happiness! I hope to be where you are one day soon. I don't know your son but I am proud of him too, he is using his head.

Meddguy, thank you. I copied the words to the song and will forward them to my son, now I can't wait to hear it. Thank you for sending it too me.

Update: My son is going back to rehab today, he is done detoxing. The hospital is trying to get him on the right meds that will not further his drug problem. So far nothing has worked. They are trying buspar today. My son is glad they are putting him on a non-narcotic drug and "treating the real problem". Sounds like he learned a little something during his hospital stay.

He mistakingly thinks he will get the ok to leave rehab at the two week evaluation. I told him no. No way can get get the help he needed in two weeks. Since I am private paying for rehab can I make rehab keep him for six weeks, if I think he needs six weeks? He said he learned more at the hospital then at rehab but I had to explain he didn't partake in anything at rehab because he was still detoxing and having anxiety attacks. I told him if he left sooner than six weeks he would have no where to go to. Hopefully that will motivate him to start liking rehab.

So today was a good day. No drama. Thank you God! :bouncing:

05-04-2006, 05:58 PM
I just spoke to my son. He is still in the hospital. They have him on buspar, seraquil, vistaril and blood pressure medication. He has gained five pounds since being there.

He was crying. His moods are off the chart. He said he knows he messed up. He has been walking the halls trying to get excercise.

Again he said that he was detoxing off of methadone and that the nurse in the emergency room said she was surprised he was standing because that is the worse thing to kick. Worse than herion.

He is upset with his sister because he said he was not on anything while there, just going through bad withdrawals, sweating, etc.

He said he is really homesick. I am checking in with him again tomorrow night after group. Hopefully he will be released by Saturday to rehab. My anger has disappeared. Could my son be learning something? Could he be growing into a man that doesn't want to be on drugs? I hope so.

I don't know why they have him on all this meds.

05-04-2006, 07:47 PM
cram...like i said...they wont if they are good docs...put him on xanax...thats a huge problem in and of itself,plus he abuses it...ie.60 gone in 5 days...its a good trade off for other dope too....the buspar and seraquil are good meds...the seraquil will help him sleep....vistaril is good too..the blood med is for when you are in w/d's your pressure goes up increasing the w/d effects...they maybe have him on clonidine....i informed you methadone is a tough cooky...should not have had that on hoim...you know i used it and personally it causes more problems in long run,especially when it comes time yto wean off...im a ace in that catergory...could be true about the time at his sisters,but i question it...why would she boot him if it was just sweats/diahrea...had to be a behaviour issue there......good hes homesick cause it shows conscience,but he has to be watched daily in teh upcoming weeks...he is at a vunerable stage...relapse....ect...it takes time to be re-brainwashed..am sure hes starting to realize what reality is for him now...try to be supportave of him..it takes long small steps to acheive sobriety...miss ya...hope/pray all is well with the family...god bl;ess...chef

05-05-2006, 03:49 PM
Chef so glad you have had experience in all this. You are making it easier for me to understand and your support to be supportive is allowing me to see that I have to walk beside him so he doesn't walk alone.

On the phone last night, these meds were making him mumble. I am so afraid of the hospital over medicating him. I mean the pysch ward is filled with people who are vegitative. I want him to function in the real world. He said that clonidine didn't work, they tried it at the hospital.

I wasn't sure if I should stay on this addiction board or go off on a bipolar or depression board. But this is still an addiction problem, isn't it? I am not out of the woods yet...thanks for the heads up.

Are you saying over the next couple of weeks he will be craving drugs more than ever? When does that subside? I am hoping this rehab center re-wires his brain.

Do you think his addiction came from trying to self medicate because of underlying depression and mood disorders (bipolar)? Are bipolars and depression sufferers more prone to addictions?

How long have you been clean? Do you still have bad days....cravings? When does this whole meth thing get out of his system for good?

My son hasn't had feelings in a long time, his crying told me he is breaking down. For a long time his sentences were littered with the F word, now his sentences are littered with the mom word, somewhere I became a human being again.

For anyone who has suffered from mood disorders or depression, were you self medicating yourself when you turned to drugs?

Thanks again God for another non drama day!

05-05-2006, 04:21 PM
cram, I very much medicated my post partem depression with lortab. When I took the lortab, I didn't cry any more, and I didn't want to cry in front of my kids any more. Now that the post partem depression is lifting, I'm finding I don't feel the need to take the extra lortab anymore. There have been many studies done on depression and drug or alcohol addiction, and there most definitely is a link. I believe one study estimated that over 50% of those addicted to some sort of substance had an underlying depression problem. That doesn't excuse it, but it means he may need additional medication and counseling to help him deal with things instead of using drugs to deal with them. You're a great mom cram, hang in there!

05-06-2006, 11:53 AM
bridgetmark, thank you for your reply, I am going to look this link between moods and addictions on the internet and see what I can find.

Glad to read your post partum is lifting, they say crying is a form of release but when you have no control over it, like what you went through, it's consuming. Congrats on your new baby!

I just heard from my son, he is back at rehab and is wants to come home at the two week mark, he thinks he is cured and said how can I leave his mentally unstable son there. He wants me to make arrangements to send him to an out of state relatives house. The two week mark is in 8 days. Otherwise he said he will be "missing".

How do I get it through his thick skull that he isn't ready to leave?