View Full Version : A ? for MsMinn

01-10-2007, 07:15 AM
Hi Minn- been reading your story and I am So happy for you that you are doing so well. This is a personal question, I realize, and if you don't want to respond, I understand.

I read your thread about giving up alcohol and you said you realized that your drinking was causing your anxiety and you had actually been using the alcohol to try to calm the anxiety. My question is -how did you come to the realization that the alcohol was hurting not helping the anxiety? How did you make it through more than a few days without drinking?

Like I said, I know that the question is very personal. Christmas Day was the two month anniversary of my brother's death from alcohol, and I always suspected he was drinking to deal with anxiety. I have been absolutely torturing myself (again) recently about whether or not I could have done more to help him. I guess I am kind of hoping that you will say that you did it all on your own, and it was a miracle :) so I don't have to face that I may have let my brother down, but I do want to know the truth if you want to share it.

I am getting councelling from my priest, and he is wonderful man, and a great support, but he doesn't have any experience with addiction, so while he is a wealth of help on finding a way to spiritual peace, he can't give me "real" answers like someone who has lived through what my brother lived through.

Thanks for your time either way.
Congratulations on how well you are doing! Keep it up. Marirose

01-10-2007, 11:37 AM
Hi Marirose,
I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother. I too have a brother who is in the later stages of alcoholism. I tried to help him once too, by giving him a place to live for what was supposed to be 2 weeks and wound up being 4 months. This did help him to get a new start and a job and apartment, but it did not help him give up alcohol. He still drinks and has completely isolated himself from our family, including his 3 children. It's so sad.
Anyway...in my case. I have had depression issues and been in counseling for 2 years for that and my alcohol problem. Along the way I picked up the lovely ultram habit. So, I guess you could say I built in some "checks" for myself if I start to go downhill. I really respect/like my counselor so I truly want to stay on track. Heck, I like myself too, if I allow it..lol. Also, that has helped me as well, plus some F2F women's recovery groups that I went to a year ago and am attending again.
I guess what I'm saying is that yes, I came to this because I truly wanted it. *I* built up these safely nets myself. My sister is there to listen, but I made all these choices myself. Only the alcoholic can decide for him/herself.
You really might think about going to Alanon meetings. My sister is going to go to some to help herself deal with what I'm going thru.

Oh and how did I make it thru the first few days? I have no idea...you know, it was almost a miracle. I think it was because I finally TRULY accepted that I needed to quit, for good. It brought a sense of relief to not have to struggle against the decision anymore.

Hope this helps and thanks for the kind words,

01-10-2007, 03:57 PM
Hi Minn- thanks for the honest post...I am so glad you are doing well. I am sorry for the loss of your brother as a sober person to your family...that is a terrible situation to live with. I hope he will someday find the same good place that you have worked so hard for for yourself.

I am reading a lot of Alanon info. on the net - I am due in March with my seventh son, and we adopted my brother's two children right before his death, plus we live in the "boondocks", so it will take some truckin' to get to a town big enough to have Alanon meetings. That will probably have to wait until this baby is able to spend the evening alone with daddy! In the meantime,though, I have Alanon OnLine and all you good people here - which is a very much appreciated resource.

Take care and keep up with all your hard work- you sound like you are doing great and lovin' life - love your self too - like you said, what the heck? You're worth it! :) Best wishes, Marirose