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carolann3123
05-14-2007, 11:10 AM
Hi,
This is my first post and I need to know something. My mom had a ugly raised sore on her arm. It bled terribly. My brother took her to the ER and after six long hours they said she needed to see a dermatologist. It took a week get in to see the dermatologist. The growth was removed and the biopsy was melanoma. She is in an assisted living home and has dementia. The dermatologist recommended she see an oncologist. My question is, what, if anything, can we expect at this stage in her life? Will it take her life within months, will she need pain meds, should she be in a hospice?

I am in shock. I thought she would die in her sleep, but to cope with this at the end of her life is awful.
Thank you,
Carolann3123

Ladypepper
05-15-2007, 11:33 AM
What stage is her melanoma? Her prognosis and treatment options depend on her stage. I am sorry that she is having to deal with this at this time in her life.

westllen
05-15-2007, 05:51 PM
I am so sorry this has happened to your Mom at this stage of her life. Did they tell you what stage it is? Does she have a good primary doctor you can talk?

Alot lays here on the level. I will be praying it is easily addressed.

Keep us posted.

carolann3123
05-16-2007, 01:46 PM
Thank you so much for your concern regarding my mom. She has an appointment next Monday with the surgeon to remove more of the affected skin on her arm. After that, she will be referred to an onocologist. At this point that's all I know. Her Primary Care doctor isn't the best. My brother and I know that we don't want her to be subjected to treatment that would cause her discomfort. It's the uncertainty of not knowing how much longer she has and we don't want her to suffer.

Thanks again,
Carolann3123

carolann3123
05-22-2007, 10:40 AM
My Mom had surgery yesterday to remove more of the melanoma on her arm. The surgeon said, if she were my mom, I wouldn't seek any further treatment. My brother and I decided to take his advise. Given her mental and physical state at this time in her life, the trama would be too much. The only thing that concerns me is what to expect. Will she have pain?

Thank you,
Carolann3123

Ladypepper
05-22-2007, 11:41 AM
Well again without knowing how advanced her melanoma is - it is hard to tell. Did the doctor tell you her stage??

If she is a stage II and has no treatment other than the excision, she may not have any problems or complications for YEARS! Stage II means there are no mets.

If she is a stage III then there is some localized mets and it will probably spread more quickly. Whereas stage IV she probably will not last very long without treatment. But there are always exceptions!!!

As far as suffering and pain - hopefully she will go peacefully. Everyone is different. And it also depends on where her mets would go. This sounds horrible to say but maybe she will just die of her advanced age and not have to deal with melanoma at all.

If you know her stage you will have a better idea of what you are dealing with. I am sorry that you and she are having to deal with this.

carolann3123
05-27-2007, 10:58 AM
Thank you for your answer and concern. My brother and I are just taking it one day at a time. She is not in pain now. Most of the time she doesn't know what is going on around her. We are lucky if she knows who we are. It is so hard to see her like this.

Thanks again,
Carolann3123

westllen
05-28-2007, 04:59 AM
Glad to hear she isn't in pain. I wouldn't do any treatments either at this stage of her life. Keep her comfortable. I can only imagine how hard this is on you. Many prayers.

Ladypepper
05-28-2007, 10:36 AM
I am sorry to hear of her condition - but glad to know that she is not in pain. It is probably harder on you than it is on her right now, but you guys have made the right decision. I hope she continues to be pain free. ((hugs))

carolann3123
05-28-2007, 11:27 AM
Mom's arm is swollen today. It's the same arm she had the surgery. What does this mean? Does she need to see the Doctor?

Please help,
Carolann3123

Ladypepper
05-28-2007, 01:01 PM
Did she have a SNB? I don't recall that mentioned but if she did, it is sometimes normal. With a node biopsy, it messes with the lymphatic system and it cannot drain as needed and it will cause swelling.

In any case, I would put a call into the doctor to see what they think. It would not hurt to have it checked to make sure there isn't an infection.