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View Full Version : Waiting for results of possible Malignant Melanoma


netty2606
09-12-2007, 03:48 AM
Hi, I've been viewing this board for quite some time. Ladypepper - you're wonderful :)

My wonderful husband of only 30 has had a mole on his neck which is multicoloured, flat, not itchy, irregular in shape and about 5mm wide. I've been with him for 6 years and he's always had the mole there and as far as I can remember it's always looked the way it does - but I have never paid much attention to it - I feel so stupid now. I have looked back on photo's when he was a kid and the mole has always been there (although it looks normal in those pics).

It falls inlign with a St.Christopher chain he has always worn and I guess I just subconsciously thought it looked a bit different because it was getting irritated by the chain - Although i know changing moles should be checked - because he has so many of them (he probably has 100 on his chest and back alone) and because it's always looked like that to me - It just didn't even cross my mind to get it checked.

It's only because my friend said she covers up all her moles with sun block and that moles are the way in for skin cancer that I thought we'd best get it checked.

He went to the doctors end of July 07 who referred him within 2 weeks to a dermatologist. The derm looked at it and said yes it needs to come out and sent him on an urgent referral to get it removed. About a month after we went to the Dr's he finally had it removed (29th August) - we have had the letter to come in to the hospital to get the results - which is next Thursday 20th Sept.

To be honest I am terrified - we live such a perfect life - we got married just over a year ago, are trying for a baby and have just got our house up and running. My life was perfect - he's such an amazing caring and wonderful man - I couldn't cope without him - Now I feel like my world is crashing down around me.

Every day is a struggle to keep my head above the water and be strong for my dear hubby - but I'm finding it so hard.

I'm not sure if I'm asking for answers - I just need some kind words/experience of others who have been in the same situation. I'm absolutely convinced it's MM - I cannot find anyone on any MM threads who has had a multicoloured flat mole which wasn't MM - What is terrifying is that I don't know how long it's looked like that - could have been 6yrs!! He is in good health, but I know that doesn't count for much. I have also booked for him to get other moles checked and a pink bump he has on his head which hasn't gone away.

Sorry about the long post...can anyone help me?..

aimees71
09-12-2007, 08:35 PM
Dear Netty,

I'm really sorry you and your husband are going through this. It is very difficult and anxiety provoking on many levels. I don't really know what to say that would be of comfort...

Waiting is really hard. Keep yourselves busy so as not to dwell. Do what you need to do to get sleep. Getting run down on top of the anxiety is a killer. I did it and it makes everything (especially the fear) 10x worse. Do not let your mind run away. How we think is so very powerful and can help or hinder health. You never know; it could be nothing. Many of my moles that I've been super concerned about, the derm thinks are fine. And my melanoma looked fine but was not. Color is part of the ABCDEs, but it's not everything... so go easy and wait till you visit with the derm.

Finally, take heart that your love is strong, your husband seems to feel fine, and you have a strong relationship with a strong partner. You are in my thoughts, and please keep us updated.

netty2606
09-13-2007, 01:14 AM
Dear Netty,

I'm really sorry you and your husband are going through this. It is very difficult and anxiety provoking on many levels. I don't really know what to say that would be of comfort...

Waiting is really hard. Keep yourselves busy so as not to dwell. Do what you need to do to get sleep. Getting run down on top of the anxiety is a killer. I did it and it makes everything (especially the fear) 10x worse. Do not let your mind run away. How we think is so very powerful and can help or hinder health. You never know; it could be nothing. Many of my moles that I've been super concerned about, the derm thinks are fine. And my melanoma looked fine but was not. Color is part of the ABCDEs, but it's not everything... so go easy and wait till you visit with the derm.

Finally, take heart that your love is strong, your husband seems to feel fine, and you have a strong relationship with a strong partner. You are in my thoughts, and please keep us updated.

Aimee - Thank you for you kind words. I have okay days and I have bad days. I've been trying to finish the decorating in my kitchen and that's helped a bit as it's kept me busy - but I feel I have an unbearable weight on my shoulders which I just cannot shift. Sometimes I cannot help but let my mind run away into the worst case scenarios...I just can't believe how my life has gone from being perfect to being like this...

Most people at work seem to think I'm overeacting...but they don't know about it as much as I do and are ignorant of how bad it can be. My family are being supportive, but I have the feeling they think it's nothing too - Maybe they're just being like that for my sake to help me stay strong.

Your words are of a great comfort aimee - it's just nice to speak to people in the same situation or have been through what I'm going through at the moment. I'm counting down the days to the results appointment - It's just over a week now. I want to get it over and done with but at the same time I'm terrified of what we'll hear. He just doesn't deserve anything but good news.

Thanks again - hope you are okay - I've read your previous posts.

Will make sure I come back and advise of the results...good or bad.
xx

Ladypepper - How are you? Any words of wisdom that will help me get through this week?.... x

mcr285
09-13-2007, 01:14 PM
hi netty,
i know the wait is scary, and it can be especially hard when you don't feel like you have the support of your family and friends. my mom and dad went through the same thing the first time my dad had melanoma. nobody really understood why my parents were so worried and scared. please know that you have friends here who do understand and are praying for you and your husband! try to stay positive and please let us know what the doctor says! you're in my prayers.

sheri76
09-13-2007, 07:44 PM
I hope everything is OK with your husband. Waiting is the worst part. I had a mole similar to what you were describing and it was melanoma, but it wasn't malignant. I had surgery and it was done. I pray that this is the case for you. You and your husband are in my prayers.

netty2606
09-14-2007, 03:38 AM
Thankyou Sheri & Mcr for your kind words....Only 6 sleeps to go.

Took hubby to the Dr's this morning to get some other moles I'm worried about checked out & also a pink bump on his head and a white patch (which doesn't tan) on his arm.
I showed her the ones I was particularly concerned about and she think's they are all okay as fit in with the rest of the moles he has on his body - although I'm not so sure as most of his moles are reddish brown and a I pointed out one on his arm which is dark brown/black - he also has one like this on his heel and hip. They all seem symmetrical & don't itch though. After reading all the posts on this board it's difficult to know whether to trust the doc or not. She also said that the white patch is nothing to worry about & when I asked what if it's a white melanoma she said it would have had a pinky look to it...I just don't know what to believe - but I guess I have to take her word for it.

She did say that if the results turn out bad next week that he would be monitored a lot more closely and will have any that are even slightly suspicious removed. She said we could come back to her at any time if I had any more concerns - so she was nice like that. We did take him to the Mole Clinic recently too and a lady there did a top to toe of all his moles and say they are fine...so I guess I'll just have to believe them both. (Although she didn't see the white patch)

Has anyone else got experience of a white patch on their skin which doesn't tan? It's about the size of a 1p piece (about 1.5cm diametre) and is very light . He's had it for as long as he can remember. I've read about a skin condition which turns your skin white in patches all over your body - but this doesn't sound like it as it's very round and only on this one place.

Thanks again to everyone xx

mcr285
09-14-2007, 09:14 AM
sorry, no experiences with white patches.... but i do want to stress to you how much your husband needs proper treatment! if you are worried, or have a "bad feeling" about your husband's health, don't take the doctor's word for it, insist on an internal scan. my dad's CANCER doctor gave him the all clear, and only did a PET scan because my dad insisted. turned out my dad had stage iv melanoma!

that being said..... it was the second time my dad had melanoma. he had no suspicious moles at all when he was diagnosed with stage iv melanoma. he'd had a melanoma mole removed 7 years before that and they never did any internal scans on him since that mole.

i'm sorry. i am REALLY not trying to scare you or freak you out!!! you mentioned your husband is in good health and feels fine, and that generally means that IF his mole is melanoma, it most likely stops there and is treatable.

i was just alarmed when you said you'd take the doctor's word for it. if my dad had insisted earlier that there was something wrong, he might still be around today. doctors don't know everything, and the more i research, the more i am finding out just how much they do NOT know about melanoma!!!

mcr285
09-14-2007, 09:23 AM
they are fine...so I guess I'll just have to believe them both. (Although she didn't see the white patch)

Has anyone else got experience of a white patch on their skin which doesn't tan? It's about the size of a 1p piece (about 1.5cm diametre) and is very light . He's had it for as long as he can remember. I've read about a skin condition which turns your skin white in patches all over your body - but this doesn't sound like it as it's very round and only on this one place.

Thanks again to everyone xx

oh my gosh! i am such an idiot!

my daughter (almost 4 years old) has a white patch on her arm and has had it for as long as i can remember! i'm so dumb. don't know why i didn't think of that sooner.

she has a white patch of skin on her arm, it never changes color, her skin around the patch tans, but this spot stays the same. it's about an inch long and just over a quarter of an inch wide. i too have read about that skin condition, but she doesn't have any other patches on her body either. her spot isn't scaly, or itchy, or raised, it's just a white patch. i always assumed it was a weird birthmark or something.

none of her doctors could tell us anything about it either. i'd never heard of a white melanoma until i ran across it when researching for my dad, but ignored it since it didn't apply to him. guess i'll have to do some further research! let me know if you find out anything!

one more thing.....
what did the doc say about the pink bump on your husband's head? is it a mole-like bump, or is it like a cyst (clogged oil glands can do that - they tend to run in my family!)? just curious.

netty2606
09-17-2007, 02:19 AM
oh my gosh! i am such an idiot!

my daughter (almost 4 years old) has a white patch on her arm and has had it for as long as i can remember! i'm so dumb. don't know why i didn't think of that sooner.

she has a white patch of skin on her arm, it never changes color, her skin around the patch tans, but this spot stays the same. it's about an inch long and just over a quarter of an inch wide. i too have read about that skin condition, but she doesn't have any other patches on her body either. her spot isn't scaly, or itchy, or raised, it's just a white patch. i always assumed it was a weird birthmark or something.

none of her doctors could tell us anything about it either. i'd never heard of a white melanoma until i ran across it when researching for my dad, but ignored it since it didn't apply to him. guess i'll have to do some further research! let me know if you find out anything!

one more thing.....
what did the doc say about the pink bump on your husband's head? is it a mole-like bump, or is it like a cyst (clogged oil glands can do that - they tend to run in my family!)? just curious.


Hi MCR and Everyone else -

Well the EXCELLENT news is. (:D ).....We got a letter on Saturday saying my husbands mole has been tested and is innocent!!!!! We still have the appointment to go in on Thursday however but I called them today and they said it was just to check it had healed okay.

Relief isn't the word - I feel like I've got my life back and it also means that I am going to be very vigilent in checking both my moles and my husbands from now on.

We got the Doctor to check the little bump on his head and she said it's a mole which grows down or something & it's under the skin but says it's nothing to worry about.

As to the white patch - she said that was nothing to worry about too - I think it may be 'pityriasis versicolour' (look up on web) but I'm not sure. Am going to get Selsun to treat it and see if it disappears.

Lastly - the small black mole on his heal and the black one on his hip and arm I will closely monitor and if they change at all I will be straight down to the doctors. My hubby says he's had these moles for ages and because we've had two qualified people check them I think we will leave them be.


My best wishes are with everyone who has ever suffered from Melanoma - whether that's themselves or their family. I never want to go through this again and I plan to raise some money/do some charity events to highlight the dangers of sunbathing and the risks of Melanoma.

xxxxxxxxx

aimees71
09-18-2007, 08:56 PM
YEAH!!!!!:D :D :D Netty, that's wonderful news. I am so happy for you and for your husband. And thank you for your well-wishes and your being willing to be a voice for sun protection and cancer prevention.

I have a number of white patches that don't tan. Mine are quite small and on my arms and legs. It is my understanding that they are indeed sundamaged patches of skin that no longer have pigment. So, they can't tan. I don't think they are indicative of a skin condition, but I could be wrong. None of my doctors or derm has ever been worried about them.

Netty, I hope you never ever have to worry like this again. Enjoy life!

netty2606
09-19-2007, 08:00 AM
YEAH!!!!!:D :D :D Netty, that's wonderful news. I am so happy for you and for your husband. And thank you for your well-wishes and your being willing to be a voice for sun protection and cancer prevention.

I have a number of white patches that don't tan. Mine are quite small and on my arms and legs. It is my understanding that they are indeed sundamaged patches of skin that no longer have pigment. So, they can't tan. I don't think they are indicative of a skin condition, but I could be wrong. None of my doctors or derm has ever been worried about them.

Netty, I hope you never ever have to worry like this again. Enjoy life!

Thanks Aimee, I wish you all the best. Until the apppointment is over and done with tomorrow I can't fully relax, but hopefully thay haven't made a muddle & all is okay. I really feel for everyone who posts on here - and think it's wonderful that so many people reply to the crys of help on here... I realise how lucky we have been...and still don't quite believe it...it had all the signs of being a melanoma (except it didn't itch). If you haven't been diagnosed yet - no matter how convinced you are, it may not be a melanoma!! But PLEASE make sure you get it checked out!! xx

Lots of best wishes to everyone xxx

amiee79
10-11-2007, 07:26 AM
Hi Netty,

I am sort of in the same boat as you were...except I am in your husbands shoes. I have had a suspicious mole removed from the back of my knee (what a horrible place to have stitches). The mole was not like any of my other moles. It is a new mole about 1.5 years and it has a light color dot in the middle and a light brown halo around it. I had been ill for over a year as well....very fatigued and always seem to be sick (cold/flu). I just had my gall bladder (gall stones) removed and was diagnosed with Celiac disease last year. I also have an enlarged lymph node that has been there for over a year as well, but it is below my earlobe on my neck.

My family has a history of cancer...not so much melanoma. Only person I know that had melanoma was my grandmother's nephew. He sadly passed away the same time my mother did. She had cervical cancer.

Needless to say I am very worried as well. My fiance of 10 years has been through my mom's death with me and now my illness. I have had so many tests done in the last year or so with clean results it's frustrating to feel the way I do and not have any idea what's going on. I am so fatigued all the time. I am so lucky I can work from home.

I am getting the test results back on the 23rd of Oct, so I am hoping that it's good news, but then I have to go for a CT scan before that on the 17th for the lymph node and my kidney (oh because I also have kidney stones).

Glad to hear all is well with your hubby. Hopefully we will have the same results. :)