View Full Version : Brother's Alcoholism is making Family's life living hell!

07-28-2008, 07:28 AM
My summer has been wrought with drama at every turn. I've been off for two months, and have had not one day of peace. I normally use this time for rest, and rejuvantion to ready myself for a new semester. I teach a very specialized two year college program where I am the only instructor in an Interpreter Training Program for folks who want to become Sign Language Interpreters!

My brother has robbed me and my family of any sort of a peaceful summer. He is dying of chirosis of the liver, and though we have offered him the sun and the moon in terms of treatment, in patient, out patient, half-way houses, you name it, he's refused every thing we've offered.

Last thursday my mom and I had to have him arrested because he has been harrassing her, really more like terrorizing her. He won't leave her alone, and even though I told him we were getting a restraining order the day before, he showed up the next day, broke her screen door to her porch, and tried to get into her home. She's scared to death. My mom had to make him move out of her house last nov. due to his "bizarre" behavior, such as peeing all over the house, breaking stuff, etc. My mom will be 81 later this month. I am tired of him terrorizing her. She deserves to live her remaining years in peace. I told the cops that IF he got into her house, he WOULD kill her. Maybe not physically, but would be the CAUSE of her death. She has uncontrolled high blood pressure, and she would either stroke out, OR she would fall in trying to get away from him. She is on a walker. She is also on coumiden (sp) which is a blood thinner, and if she fell and cut herself she would bleed out very quickly. She has been on coumiden since her hip replacement in 2004, and they can't get her protime (PT) right. She had two knee replacements last year, and still goes for the PT tests every two weeks to try to get the blood clotting factor right. They can't figure out why it hasn't regulated yet.

My family is beside ourselves. We've decided we're not going to "love him to death" as the show Intervention says. He's homeless now, as he was evicted from his last apartment for non-payment of rent. He tells people he is waiting to go back to work off shore, yet he's not had that job since March. He's been sleeping in Mom's back yard, using her yard as a toilet, etc.

We finally went to the police, and they basically said that unless he posed a "physical threat" to one of the family members, "their hands were tied". Well then the next day was when he tried to bust up into her house. They arrested him for trespassing.

We seriously don't know if he has a "bottom". We've lost one brother to the disease. He didn't have a bottom either.

It has affected our family negatively in so many ways. I am SO :mad: angry that I just can't see straight. I'm emotionally bankrupt. My only daughter is getting married this coming Saturday, and I've hardly been able to enjoy helping her plan her wedding.

I'm a Chronic Pain patient, having had two back surgeries, and my pain has increased terribly. I've been in the bed most of the summer. I have chronic migraines, and they are out of control too. They are normally triggered by bad weather, but the stress of my brother's alcoholism has made my migraines out of control on a daily basis.

I'm ******, and so, so emotionally wrought. I've been to a psychiatriast last Thurs. I've now been diagnosed with Major depression and anxiety that they are treating.

Just in the middle of this post, I had to leave to go to my mother's house to have my brother re-arrested. He tried to break into my mother's house again. I don't get him, when will he get it?? I don't actually think he will. It breaks my heart to see my mother scared, crying and in fear of her life. It's just not fair for him to do that to her. At least she will have some peace for another few days until he goes to court on Wednesday.

Bet my BP is up again!! *sigh*

What a saga!!

Hope everyone else is doing well in their battles against addiction.

God Bless!

~!~ Becky ~!~

07-28-2008, 12:03 PM
Becky, my best friend just went through this with her BIL. No one knew it when it started, but he was also dying of cirrhosis of the liver (age 46). No one had ever thought of him as an alcoholic - he was just a fun guy! And owned a million dollar company, yada yada. But his family knew the private "hell" of his life and in turn, theirs.

He also went crazy, did bizarre things including threatening to kill his wife and kids (and said this in front of the young ones!). The family finally had to get him committed to 3 days in a psych ward because he WAS a danger to the family. At that time, it was discovered just how sick he was and the elevated levels from his dying liver was creating all this bizarre and scary behavior. He truly and literally was not himself, but he was capable of doing harm to himself and others.

After a nightmare several months, he ended up dying. Once the brain starts getting affected, if medical intervention is not started soon enough (and then it may not even work) there usually isn't long to go. In his case, once they started the major medical intervention, he would get better for a few days, then get horrible for a few days. It was a terrible roller coaster but in the end, his liver just was too damaged. When he was "better", he would either claim to not remember the horrible behavior OR would apologize for it. No knew what to do or think. Did he remember or not?

I am so sorry for this. Can your family try to have him committed? Check with your state. In my friends case, it took 2 family members to claim mental imcompetence and the police would pick someone up and lock them in the psych ward for up to 72 hours. It was the first and only 72 hours of peace the family experienced for many months.

I'm so sorry your family is having to suffer through this.

07-28-2008, 02:07 PM
Thanks for your reply!

We are presently working on commitment, but the process in this state take about 3 months to complete!! Right now we have at least till Wed with him in jail for my mom to have some peace of mind. Same thing last Thurs - Sat... he was in jail and it was (sad to say) bliss!

Thanks again for your kind words.

~!~ Becky ~!~