View Full Version : what helps?

11-13-2009, 09:14 AM
I have this tremendous sadness about aging and anxiety about dying. What helps? How can I cope?? I am just stumped now because I have tried therapy, staying busy, meds, yoga, exercise but NOTHING helps. It is as if I am resistant to anything positive and helpful?!

Someone help me think differently about aging and dying, PLEASE?!

11-14-2009, 10:28 AM

You might be 40 years old or you might be 100. If you're around 40, it seems like it would be a waste of time to worry about dying because you likely have many many good years ahead of you. If you're around 100, maybe you have more reason to be sad. Although, many who reach 100 give credit to their love of life and optimism.

You've mentioned several things that you've tried and many of them don't excite me either. For example, rather than just "staying busy" you need to find something that you really love to do. For some it might be volunteering time to help others. If you concentrate on helping others, it will take your mind off of yourself.

Another thing to avoid, in my opinion, is medication. I see it as doing more harm than good. At best it's a temporary fix. I think you'd be better off to concentrate on eating a healthy diet. Mostly, you can do that by eliminating processed foods, like anything with added sugar or white flour. A good healthy diet of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, legumes, nuts & seeds, can have a positive effect on your mental health.

If you improve your health or stay in good health, you can look upon aging as an adventure. Each year you'll be one year older but you can feel the same, so age will just be a number.

11-15-2009, 10:26 PM
I think that Johnr41 has some great suggestions . I would just like to add that maybe you should start exploring your spiritual side. That can be different for everyone. You may want to try reading different texts and see if there is one that speaks to you. I would suggest going to a large bookstore and checking out the all the various books they have on the subject.
I myself am not afraid of aging or death. I am almost 58. I like being older and wiser. And having lost my mom ,my dad and my brother ,death does not scare me. I know we go on ,and I know it's wonderful.
I think the best thing that John said was to stop focusing on yourself and start volunteering for something that interests you. That could be at an animal rescue center,a homeless shelter ,a local botanical garden a food bank etc.
And maybe you could practice being positve by saying out loud one thing that you are grateful for that day. Also staying in the now. Everytime you start thinking about the future ,take a breath and bring yourself back to now,. Now is the only thing we have. We don't even know what the next hour will bring. So live in the "now" Don't worry about the future.
Good luck..being afraid of aging and death is a terrible burden to put on yourself since both are inevitable. Remember ,it's's not the destination ,it's the journey.