View Full Version : My mother is sleeping WAY too much

08-18-2010, 02:35 PM
And I don't know what to do. My father just passed away less than 2 weeks ago and I know she is going through some situational depression and grief, but this was going on long before that. She goes to bed at 4 in the afternoon, sometimes sooner, and sleeps until 7 the next morning. I've tried to get her to find things that would occupy her time, or nap on the couch, watch TV, play games on the computer, but she has an excuse for each of my suggestions. I just don't know what to do anymore. I've spent the last 5 years watching my father get worse until he died and I don't have the energy to watch the same thing happen to my mom. I've talked to her doctor and she has prescribed anti-depressants but my mom will not take them. Do I just let her waste away in bed? In time we want to suggest that she move to an independent living facility, but right now it's too soon after my father's death....any other ideas? i've tried talking to her gently but she takes it as just "fussing" at her. Don't know what else to say or do?

09-04-2010, 04:33 AM
I have a family member who is doing the same thing and her husband died also. Sleeps all day and I know it's depression. She refuses to eat properly, thinks vitamins will be her cure all and then 1-2 days gets up and goes all day and whines about sleeping the other 4days???

I tell her she needs to eat better and she has a fit. Very smart woman but can't accept her age is slowing her up. She has been anemic before so it's a matter of a test to find out but she refuses.. Tells me it's amazing she got this far in life when I suggest something so I stopped suggesting. Now I let her call me instead of worrying when she doesn't answer the phone.
This is very stressful and no answers to her stubborness.

10-16-2010, 07:12 PM
I'm sorry, I know that you have a real fear...because your Dad just passed that you are going to have to endure more pain of watching your Mom....It has only been 2 weeks...and she was acting like this before because she knew this was coming...she knew he was going to die. 5 years is a long time to watch someone suffer, take care of them, support them and try to keep up with normal daily activities. It is going to take your Mom alot longer than 2 weeks to snap out of this. Your FEAR is telling you that she is always going to be like this...she WONT be....All you can do is worry about yourself and do things that make you well. If you keep suggesting things to her and she is refusing them..it is because she doesn't feel able to do those things yet...you are putting more pressure on her and yourself.....Try to do some good things for yourself...She will soon realize that she is spending too much time in bed...and she will start doing things, but it has to be in her time...everyone grieves differently. I do understand that you have been thru alot and you are petrified of going thru more stuff. But, realize that you can not control what happens...I don't like the word "control"..and I mean you can not orchistrate what will happen - only the big guy does....and your worry is going to make you depressed and sick. Hopefully, she will feel better soon and then you can breathe easier. Much sympathy to you for the loss of your Dad and your concern for your Mom. Make yourself happy as much as possible and maybe some of your happiness will rub off on Mom.

01-01-2011, 04:35 PM
The only way I can answer this is, have lots of patients with your Mom. Loss of a Husband or Wife is a very difficult change in life. Your Mom must have been with him a very long time, her Parter, her Companion, her friend, her lover, and shared together life.. Now she has lost one of her wings of life, trying to fly alone is difficult..

Her sleep may be the way she is healing her loss. Maybe when she is up and awake you can share together the good times and good memories of you Dad, maybe she will learn to hang on to these to puch her forward. 2 weeks, 2 months, or a yr, it takes everyone time to heal different.

I wish her well, and I wish and Pray for strength for you and your Mom:)