View Full Version : I hate the idea of getting older- how do I cope?

11-08-2010, 08:46 PM
I'm 35, and just in the past year, I've noticed all these little changes that I think might be associated with aging. I've always seen myself as young, healthly, and energetic and now I feel like I have to adjust to a new self-image.

First, I'm getting more and more gray hairs. I've actually started getting a couple of gray hairs in my late 20's but now its more noticeable and it makes me very self-conscious. I feel like I'm too young to have gray hair. So I end up dying it every few weeks.

I'm about 20 pounds heavier since a year ago. I think some of this weight gain might be due to the fact that I didn't always make the most healthy diet choices but I still find it hard to believe I would have gained that much weight. I wonder if some of the weight gain is in fact due to getting older. I have lost a few pounds in the last couple months but I wonder if its ever going to be possible to get back to my old weight.

I feel like my memory isn't as good. Sometimes I think it takes me just a little longer to retrieve certain bits of information. I've noticed that I'll try to commit a name or a fact to memory and then a few minutes later I've forgotten this. This is has been happening more than it used to. I've told people about this and they just think its all in my imagination and that I'm just stressed out or tired but I really wonder if its another aging thing?

Physically I just don't feel as fit. My joints seem to crack easier. I feel my knees tightning up as I walk. I just feel less flexible- especially in my leg and knee joints. Even bending down to pick up something is more effort than it was. I do walk around a lot and get alot of exercise but I feel like I get tired easier and sooner.

I've noticed small differences in my face. There are sideways lines starting to form just below my eyes. There are also small changes in my face that are hard to describe and aren't yet apparent unless I look closely in the mirror but I can see they are there. The area between my thumb and index finger also looks more wrinkled.

I think about all these little changes and it worries me alot. I feel like, its only going to go downhill from here and that frightens me. I get depressed about it now and then to the point where I have literally cried over it.

Worse yet, I'm single and have never been married. Most females my age are already married and have kids. The odd thing is I never really seriously considered marriage and kids until just the past year. I've always been rather introverted and independent and not the sort of person who needed a significant other to be happy. But now I see people around my age with kids and I feel so envious of them. I'd love to have kids but I strongly feel I should marry first and I'm not even dating anyone right now. I'm already 35 and my biological clock is running out. Even at 30, pregnancy is more likely to be difficult. Oh, how I'd love to turn back the clock another ten years. Also, I'm terrified of growing old alone. By having kids, likely I'd have living familiy members that could take care of me.

And finally, I feel like I've done nothing significant with my life. My career history has been a series of short term jobs and part-time work. I haven't been in a job situation where I can really advance in my career and do something significant.

Sorry about the long rant. I'm just really down on this aging thing right now.

11-12-2010, 07:10 PM
I hate to tell you this but it gets worse. Forget about cosmetics. I used to be able to read the serial number on a gnats ***, now I can't see the gnat. I used to have a perfect memory, now what was it Oh yea I told the doctor I thought I had Alzheimer's. He said it's normal not to be able to remember everything.
I am becoming a hypochondriac in my old age of 46.
I can certainly sympathize with your frustration and anxiety but it's better than the alternative.

11-13-2010, 11:24 AM

Six months from now, I will be almost twice your age. And I'm single! So what? You don't need to be married to be happy and enjoy life.

My advice: Just concentrate on being the best person you can be. Take satisfaction in whatever it is that you enjoy, like reading. And you likely will find many new activities to enjoy along the way.

One thing you can do right now is concentrate on improving your health.

11-25-2010, 05:49 AM
I have never went to doctors before and just hit the big 50 and feel I am falling apart too. I am now staying at doctor's offices for various ailments. My hair has been gray and my memory is gone! My younger coworkers just joke with me about it and I accept it. We are getting older and wiser!!

11-30-2010, 08:48 PM
I would suggest you to date and find someone who loves you for who you are rather that how you look. Once that love comes in your life, things will start turning out better and positive. You'll not get time from his love to worry over these things and most importantly, you'll be cared and understood. You can also have kids then or can adopt with your mutual understanding. It just gets better and beautiful when someone loves you and cares for you otherwise it's a fact that we all grow older. I only want you to grow older with satisfaction and smiles.
Take Care

bag raiders
12-16-2010, 08:06 PM
I feel exactly like u do! I'm 37 and fear aging! I noticed grey hair two months after turning 35 and hv noticed more since but its not that noticeable. I also feel that m too young to b going grey! My peroids are becoming irregular. This year I've become gluten intolerant. I haven't gained weight as I exercise. I have started working out with weights recently and I'm hoping it will make me muscular n less prone to osteoporosis. I worry about getting cancer etc. I had a bone density scan done and m not osteoporotic so m happy about that. I've also got wrinkling in my fingers which i noticed a few mnths ago. I'm also childless and single. I don't care if I don't have kids my fear is that I won't be able to lose the weight I gain whilst pregnant. Being slim makes me feel attractive. I'm trying to get into the habit of eating less food as u need less as u get older. Some weeks m good at eating less and other weeks m not! Every day I picture myself grey and old. M slightly long sighted and worry about not being able to read small print. I hope I don't need glasses till beyong 45. Sometimes I accept grey hair and feel that I won't colour my hair cos if i don't accept grey then how m gonna cope with other aging issues. But then there are other times I feel that I will dye cos I want to b able to wear fashionable clothes that young women wear. But then if I wore younger womens clothes I'll b mutton dressed like lamb and that's another fear I have!

Positive Cynic
12-17-2010, 02:43 PM
Hello my friend,
I know that you are beautiful, just has God made you. Our society makes too much about outside and not what is inside. It is sad but is true. Your age does not matter. Age happens. I look at pictures of myself in my 20's and yes I was slim, but I was stupider than I am now (ha ha). Wisdom is better than good looking every time. Every person understands that in their own time. Look for wise friends and they will find you. You will be happier when that happens.

God Bless You,

01-19-2011, 02:46 PM
I am going through the same exact thing,im 35 and my life is identical to yours.i have cried many times cause i feel like i have lost my youth.but the facts are everyone gets older no matter how much u hate it,so accept it,and let it go.be your own personal best.do things that make you feel good about yourself,workout really hard and watch the fat melt away.you will look younger if u workout and eat right.get your teeth zoomed if they need whitened.if u feel like u have no real accomplishments then volunteer somewhere,life isnt about how much money u make or how young u look,its about helping others whenever u can and making a difference in the lives of others.adopt an animal from a shelter,volunteer anywhere u feel u want to help.stop obcessing about what u dont have,and b grateful for the life u have and the possibilities are endless.

01-19-2011, 02:48 PM
When a woman is in her twenties, she needs a pretty face.

When a woman is in her thirties, she needs a good figure.

When a woman is in her forties, she needs a good personality.

When a woman is in her fifties, she needs a lot of money!!!:jester:

01-20-2011, 12:42 PM
1 thing that me and my wife did was to identify more with what is going on in our growing older. We was curious to what was happening from within. God does work in mysterious ways. We started focusing on research that is related to our cells and what happens to them since our skin is thee largest cell organs. And we found are dying off the older we get, and we was wondering why? People there is a very key component that some may have not heard of "Glutathione" has anyone of you hear about this, because you will be surprise like we were that it's not talked about being so important in anti-aging within to outer appearance.

02-12-2011, 11:52 PM

Even if we cannot escape the years going by, we can age gracefully. I feel that joint pains, pigmentation and disease are the effect of toxins in our body.

I found that doing a whole body cleanse - colon, parasite, kidney and finally the liver flush can cleanse our system and get rid or at least reduce the signs of old age.

I am addicted to cleansing as it has helped me to have a healthy and fit body, as I continue to age...gracefully.;)

mottled dove
02-15-2011, 01:06 PM
"the mirror has changed my shape, tomorrow used to be so kind and so far away
now it's clear when I touch my face, the unmistakable feel of youth slipping away
yeah" - Van Hunt

I'll be 30 at the end of the 3rd quarter. It takes consecutive stressless days off from work, good rest, and a nice sunny day for me to feel like I haven't completely lost my edge. Maybe I'd be taking all of this a lot better if I'd actually found love by now. Even when I look my best (or years ago when I looked even better, that **** seems impossible). Color me discouraged.

So, hmm, let's see!

receded hair line, front starting to go bald
The rest of the hair on my head grows enough to conceal this. I hope THAT will last a few decades. ;)

wrinkles under the eyes

the loose skin around the mouth
I don't know what's worse, the eye wrinkles or this. I think at this time, I'd wish this away first.

teeth deterioration
I can still smile and not feel embarassed because the teeth that would be visible if I weren't missing them would be at the far ends of my mouth (both sides). Still, and maybe I'm wrong here, I feel like this has impacted my speech. I think lisps leave my lips from time to time, and that sometimes I eject particles of salava when I speak.

popping knees and elbows
just lounging last night with my legs stretched out, I could bend the joint slightly, as if approaching a standard sitting position) and CRACK! After a few moments have passed, my knees have recharged for another popping. Great.

facial hair totally unwanted
I'm at a stage now where I can't figure out what works best for me. Do I want the mustache but zero side burns and beard? Maybe I want a little on the chin with nothing else? Maybe I want nothing but an imperfect shave where there's just a little but of darkness (hair) around lower jaw? And I'm about to fire Braun.

lines on forehead
yeah... a hat REALLY does my look good at this point. I took some pictures of myself just last month and I love them. I look good and young. But I had on a hat. The problem with hats is that I want my hair and it gets to a point where hats won't fit. For the summer, I'm thinking I'll be big on visors.

Why do I want to live to see 50 again?
Don't worry. I'd never do "that". :)