View Full Version : Is my boyfriend drinking too much?

02-11-2011, 11:17 AM
I have been dating my boyfriend for almost two and a half years. We are doing a somewhat long distance relationship and only see one another two or three nights out of the week. We started off our relationship going out on dates where drinking was always involved. I didn't think either one of us had a problem because it was almost always a weekend night and believed both of us were mainly drinking on the weekend, which I believed to be pretty normal. I started becoming aware that he would drink during the week as well, where as I did not. I have had issues with alcoholism in my family and am a bit sensitive to the whole drinking concept so I have been unsure whether or not he has an actual problem or whether I am simply over reacting. He started drinking each night (2-4 beers each week night and 4+ on the weekends) and I began voicing my concerns about a year and a half into the relationship. I told him that I didn't want to be with someone where it seemed like all of our plans kind of centered around doing things where he could drink. I have totally slowed down my drinking and when we go out with his friends or mine I will only have one or two drinks whereas he will have up to 6 sometimes... Since I chatted with him he has cut down his drinking to where he's not drinking every night. He may take up to three nights in a row some weeks off from drinking but there are also weeks where he drinks almost every night still... I know I cannot change his desire to drink and am unsure if he really even has a problem? Should I try talking with him again? He says he wants to be with me forever and we've even looked at engagement rings together but he doesn't seem to be making a significant change in his drinking...

02-11-2011, 11:31 AM
and he probably won't make a change, ESPECIALLY if you accept an engagement ring from him......your only chance is to take a stand now and if he doesn't live up to your expectations, start planning the rest of your life without him in it.

02-11-2011, 01:02 PM
If he really loves you I'd say definitely try talking to him, ask him if he really thinks he has a problem or not, sometimes thats really difficult but if you make him aware of your concern and how it bothers you he should take your feelings into consideration and have an open honest conversation about it. In my experience, I lied to the people I loved and placed alcohol before everything. It sounds horrible but it's the nasty truth with the disease alcoholism. Best of luck and God bless, ever need to chat feel free to message me.