View Full Version : Crack Addiction Takes Over College Educated, Career Oriented, Spiritual Woman's Life

09-30-2012, 01:52 PM
This is an attempt to purge some of the depression that I have taken on due to my husband's crack addiction.

When we started dating, he was not using. I didn't know that he used at all until about 4 months into our relationship. I stuck it out. I worked with him. I was there through 8 months of absolute torture. Late nights, fights, lights on, lights off, money stolen, possessions pawned, no sleep, no stop. Left. Came back. Left. Came back.

He finally almost died in a car accident. He was out of work and at the mercy of my income for about 5 months. He goes back to work. He is sober. He is happy. We buy things. We are happy. We are married. He comes home one day and he is high. And he is broke. And he gets high again. And he lies. And he lies. Lies. Lies.

I am a college educated, career oriented, and very spiritual person. I don't use anything. No alcohol. No drugs. Yet, here I am. I am living the life of an addict, and I use nothing. I am intertwined with a man who has nothing because he has been using crack for a decade. I don't know if I am seeking consolation. I am seeking to escape the escape artist. But there is love and there is marriage. I am lost.

09-30-2012, 06:35 PM
If it was you leaving you shouldn't have come back to him, and if it was him leaving you shouldn't have let him back in. I know it doesn't seem so simple because of who he is to you and what you have together, but if he's already gotten sober once and you truly lived the whole ordeal of what an addict goes through with him then i hope that somebody along the way gave you some supportive advice like if you keep tolerating the use even if it is just materially and not personally then your only enabling the behavior and he'll never have a reason to stop because he'll always have you and your money. This sounds harsh also but it is the truth, in the state he's in with his crack addiction the drug is more important to him as an addicted man than your love and marriage which seems to be the only thing keeping you in the situation. Im sorry this is happening to you and i hope your husband realizes that he's ruining both of your lives and chooses to get and stay clean. Set guidelines for him that your going to stick to and have an ultimatum which in my personal opinion is a divorce. Your marriage might never work out again but you never know if leaving him will save his life and yours. Good luck

11-30-2012, 04:27 PM
Hello yogagurl,

Crack addiction is not to be taken lightly,at all.

Addicts of this drug will,lie,cheat,steal and sell everything;down to the their last shred of dignity,for the drug.

That is how insidious this drug has the potential to be.

If he doesn't get help,you need to save yourself from this sinking ship.

If you are still up to it,please know that we're here for you;you're not alone.

Please feel fee to post; you're always welcome.


11-30-2012, 07:53 PM
Hello yogagurl,

I can feel the pain in your words, and I am so sorry for all the pain you have endured. With everything you have behind you as experience, you must look ahead and use that information to make your next decisions.

There is no shame in taking the knowledge you have and using it to create you new life. I am sure this man did not want to create all this pain in your life, but he has a serious disesase that you cannot control.

You need to step back now and remove him from your daily life. As long as you are by his side, you will be available to be used by him to further his addiction, and that is not helping him or you. It is his illness that is hurting you, and you cannot allow that. It will hopefully encourage him into treatment faster.

Our best to you..