View Full Version : my mom just committed suicide

01-09-2013, 11:38 PM
I an a 21 year old female and I just found out my mom committed suicide. I really don't know how to deal with my emotions right now. I don't want to tel Rt any my friends. Telling strangers over the internet might not be the healthiest easy to cope but I don't have any one to talk to.

01-10-2013, 01:17 AM
Welcome, and please accept my deepest sympathies. I understand why you are not yet ready to talk about this with anyone, but there are people here who are happy to offer you the support and understanding you need most.

This must be a terrible shock, and it is perfectly natural not to know just what to think, or what to do. I have just gotten through the first year following both my parents deaths, 30 days apart. While they were not suicide, they were completely unexpected, especially both at once.

Do you have any siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins that you are close to? I found that members of my family that I had never felt very close to came forward at the time of need and I was very grateful for those kind souls. There were also friends of my mom and dad that came forward, friends and neighbors too. Time will tell who those people are for you.

Who told you of her passing? Did you two live near each other, and will you be making her final plans? Although I had a sister, she chose to disappear when I needed her most, and I did all the planning and services myself. I never saw her again.

Please excuse me for the questions, when I imaging your head is already swimming with confusion and pain. I only mention these things because I could possibly help you with the upcoming events that will come.

My first bit of encouragement is to take the best care of yourself that you can. You need to eat well, rest well and keep hydrated and calm. Is there anyone who could be with you right now?

How is your health and emotions holding up? Please let me know how you are feeling when you can. WE are here to help you, and I will follow along to see what we can do to help you in the coming hours and days. I think your decision to seek some comfort and support is very good for you, while we are strangers now, we wont be as time goes on.

My prayers to you and you mother.

01-10-2013, 03:51 AM
My heart goes out to you in the midst of such a tragedy. I agree with all in the previous post. I too suffered the shock of a suicide a few years ago (my father-in-law). Even though we understood why he did it, it didn't take the pain, shock, anger and sense of loss away. Right now, you need to just let yourself react in whatever way seems natural. It really helps to have the comfort of someone with you personally. Someone who can be loving, supportive and help take care of you and the things that will need to be done. If you can think of one person to be with you right now, that would help. It is devastating to go through the loss of a parent, especially self induced. Getting through the next several days should be a family affair, if you have other family members to gather together. You will be getting guidance from the authorities, who will have the necessary people contact you. Is your father in the picture? Please feel free to post again with questions or just to vent. You will find good people here on the boards.

01-10-2013, 04:39 AM
I am very sorry to hear, :(. My deepest thoughts and sympathy goes out to you, and would like to thank all of you who have supported previously in the posts. I hope you go through an easy time as possible, please if you need to talk or anything what so ever. Just message me. god rest her soul, and ay god stay with you in this time, and I will keep you in my prayers xoxo ;((

01-10-2013, 03:57 PM
I am so, so sorry. ((HUGS))

01-10-2013, 07:48 PM
Thank you everyone. I never knew how much a strangers kindness could mean. My mom was a single mom and I can't believe this....no signs no indication. I have my elderly grandma but I still don't think I want to tell my friends..I want something normal in my life.

01-10-2013, 08:05 PM
While we do not know each other, many of us here are also dealing with great loss in our lives. We find that putting our feelings and thoughts down helps us, and others. Know that you are not alone in your grief, and others do care. Anyone who cares about you would want to know, so you do not have to hold this inside. Keeping this to yourself will not keep things normal. Follow your instincts and make that call, this is a time to seek help. Bless you.

Stupid feet
01-10-2013, 08:11 PM
I am so sorry for your loss. Please try and be strong. I don't think you said how old you are. I feel so bad for you, sweetheart!

01-10-2013, 08:44 PM
I am 21. I just feel like I'm going to be messed up for the rest of my life. I know I would get support from friends but I don't want stigma and different treatment forever. I don't know what to do with myself now I can't sleep can't eat. I miss my mom so much I wish I was a better daughter

01-10-2013, 08:55 PM
Whatever reason your mother had we won't know, but you cannot place any blame on yourself. I am so so so sorry to hear what you are going through. I cannot fathom the pain you are going through. You must deal with it now and move on the best you can. Preserve the good times and live your life the way your mother would have wanted.

Sending you all my love.

01-10-2013, 11:03 PM
Thanks again everyone. I'm just very unstable right now

01-11-2013, 12:06 AM
I am so sorry... this is so terrible to hear. Although we do not know each other I send my deepest sympathies to you. I truly empathize with your situation. Experiencing a loved one committing suicide is a tragic and horrible time in life nobody should have to go through.

I wouldn't feel bad about reaching out here. It sounds like you need guidance on where to go from here.

As others have suggested, please surround yourself with the love and support you deserve - and hopefully have. Reaching out to other relatives (even if you haven't seen them in a while), close friends, and close family members will really save you. Meditating and using religion as a passage through this rocky time could help you also, if you believe in such a thing. When my loved one passed on from suicide talking to God got me through. So did counseling. You have many options to help you now - please don't feel alone. At the very least you have this community to express your thoughts and feelings and time of crisis.

01-14-2013, 01:17 PM
There is no stigma involved in grief. This is a universal part of all of our lives at some time or other. The source of the grief is not the issue, it is about you.

Becoming a survivor is being your own personal hero. There is no right or wrong way to loose someone you love and need. Her need to commit suicide does not reflect on you, only that you will need all the more love and support to get YOU through it.

We are so happy that you have found this place at least to express your feelings, as we will always provide understanding and compassion. We are all here because the of the wonderful feeling that comes from being there for you. I imagine those who love you most would want the chance to provide you with that shoulder to cry on, that opportunity to show you what you mean to them....They will not treat you differently, or think differently of you. Once you go through tremendous loss, you will find how many around you have done so as well at some point.

I am one year into the loss of both my parents tragically. There has been nothing easy about it, but time does heal. I am surviving, and my children are thriving, so I give myself the permission to cry when I need to, to seek help when I need it, and to see beauty and joy in my life around me.

You will blossom again.
My very best to you...

01-18-2013, 12:41 PM
I am so sorry that you lost your mom in that way. Whether you tell your friends or not, you will be treated differently because there's no way you can maintain the same composure you had before. They will know something is wrong and if you don't tell them, they may assume it is something they did. You could be worse off if you don't trust them enough to share.

You get what you put out so knowing that, you should be able to talk about this as much as you feel comfortable with and know that YOU will control how others treat you by the way you are yourself.

01-29-2013, 07:50 PM
Thanks again everyone. I'm just very unstable right now

Dear neverknowwhy, It has been a few weeks since your mothers death and my heart goes out to you. I am concerned about you and wondered if you are doing ok.

08-07-2013, 05:19 PM
It has been a long time since she posted, but I, too, wonder how she is doing. And if you are reading this, know you are not alone. I have also lost my mother this way. I created an account to message you but I do not think it is possible. I wish there was some place we could talk.