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View Full Version : It's back again, but worse than ever and more frequent


HampshireChappy
06-07-2014, 11:09 AM
Hello all,

I don't know why but my mind has recently become out of my own control, this problem I had before has come back worse than ever and I don't know why, but the fear that is going through me right now is unexplainable, I have never feared anything as much as what I have been going through and I am going to the doctors again in the hope of doing something serious about it. What I am talking about is here in my old thread:

http://www.healthboards.com/boards/mental-health/877915-i-feel-like-im-experiencing-hell.html#post4879031

To sum up, when my sugar levels drop I can sometimes feel mentally trapped and like some sort of evil force is taking over me and putting me through hell, I don't know why I think this, I don't know what causes me to think this and worst of all I'm left thinking if this is really going to happen to me permanently one day and I am being tortured for eternity. I'm 34 years old this year and yet I feel more frightened than a child scared of the dark, I am truly terrified, I've made my mistakes in life and regret them, I am sorry for the bad things I have done before, but no one in the world no matter how evil a thing they have done deserves eternal punishment, but this is what my mind fears.

It's got so bad now I am constantly thinking about if this whole thing is real or just sugar level related, but my sugars have always gone low and never been a problem before, why is this happening since 2011? Whilst I've lost family members in my life since then, and that has been devastating, other things in my life have improved, i.e. finances, activities, spending time with my children, my general health and diet, etc. Yet my mind says otherwise, all it takes is a song to come on the radio and mention the word 'hell' in the song and my mind panics and presumes this means I'm destined for it and that the song is being played on my behalf, please tell me I'm being really stupid and this simply can't be the case!

I just want these horrid mind traps to be gone and just leave me alone. I'm generally a happy person, I get decent enough sleep (although could be better) and as above I eat very healthy with all the nutrients I need. Wednesday cannot come quickly enough (docs appointment), but in the mean time please can anyone comment if they've had similar thoughts/lack of mind control, just reading others comments may help ease my fear a little.

:(

Flowerpower681
06-25-2014, 05:06 PM
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I myself have OCD and know the true terrors it has with the the disorder. What I am getting at in your post is that this world you are living in is ''hell' and everyone is acting to make you feel better? I have had similar obsessions that everyone is acting and as hard as it was to overcome, I did.
The only thing that will relieve the stress from this anxiety is to realize some things you can never know for 100% but it is very unlikely you are and will go to hell.
OCD likes to cling on to ideas that cannot be answered therefor you will try answering them 24/7 and make you miserable. you can easily stop the cycle, every time a scary thought enters your head just say ''I know this is just anxiety and I cannot control what thoughts enter my head but I can control if they affect me or not.''
As far as going to the doctors, be completely honest with your doctor. You can even print out this post you posted and let him/her read it. Do NOT leave anything out because it might be ''weird'' or ''embarassing''. You are not crazy, nor in hell, Believe me, I have had the same obsessions and I got help and got my life on track!