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Aspergers- Are you parents out there??

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Old 02-14-2009, 02:36 PM   #1
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c21cg HB User
Question Aspergers- Are you parents out there??

Hello all....

After 5 years of struggling with teachers, caretakers, and private school administrators we enrolled the 8 yr old into public school. He has been put in honors classes, and removed. Is on the straight A honor roll but has trouble making and keeping friends. He has cried for the last 5 years at the smallest and I mean smallest provacation. He cannot sleep without a light on, anxiety - and has separation anxiety at home but not at school. He cannot run, didnt ride a bike until he was 8. Cant ride a skate board, hates jello and says he is "itchy" all the time.

He is gentle,loving, kind, argumentive, eats anything and every thing, wants friends but gets disappointed easily...... he is our

Had I had the resources even 2 years ago that I have today I would have come to the realization that he is NOT ADDHD but has Asperger Syndrome.

Instead of the NERD he calls himself, the more gentle name is "little professor"

He cries when he is not first or doesnt win, he is bullied and picked on at school becuase he does not understand the normal sequence of events that are supposed to happen.

He talks all the time, talks out of turn, always correcting the teacher or other kids or even us, but he is ususally right in what he is saying. He is highly intelligent, loves mazes and puzzles, but cant complete the dreaded TAKS test in the time allowed and has been threatened with being help BACK in 3rd grade if he doesnt finish the test....

Are any of you out there with these same symptoms?

He is a true gift to us an we love him !!!!! And he knows it !!!

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Old 02-14-2009, 05:46 PM   #2
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Liamsmom HB User
Re: Aspergers- Are you parents out there??

He sounds really similar to my son who'll be 7 in 2 weeks. Does your son have an IEP for school? My son was bullied by the older school kids who were supoose to help the younger ones find their class in the morning in the auditorium. My son just thought that was the way things were until I finally found out and made his really big Dad take him to school while I pointed at the two kids who bullied him they never looked at him again. My sons school is pretty accomodating and try pretty hard to work with me so we can all make his day as mellow as it can be but he still cries and clings to me at times, and he sits with an adult at lunch time in the lunchroom. But each year he seems to be able to tolerate things better and better, He receives therapies in school and I think the break from the academic helps he also. He also gets frustrated by the lack of friendships but he also doesn't try too hard and the school rule of no talking seems to be a stumbling block as he hinks he can't talk to ANYONE EVER eventhough I've explained to him that he can in certain situations.

You should have your son re-evaluated by a developmental pediatrician, and get a full eval done by the board of ed as they're responsible to do it.

Good luck I know it's hard and you keep thinking if only they all knew him the way I do they'd all be busting down the doors to be his friend.

Old 02-15-2009, 03:33 PM   #3
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Re: Aspergers- Are you parents out there??

I agree that he does need an IEP. This will help you get the most you can for your child with the school. Extra test time, homework time, and Aid.

My son is 17 and has AS. Just when I finally got it all right with the school he was in, it was time to move on to a different school. He has been mainstreamed since 1st grade.

There are many ups and downs. You have to be your childs advocate. I have to be honest. When it came to my IEP and knowing what was best for my child I never took NO for an answer on any accomodations I wanted on the IEP.

My son still has trouble maintaining friendships. It is hard to see my other kids who are 15 and 18 go out all the time and my son home unless I push him to call someone to make plans.

Best Wishes

Last edited by luckystar; 02-15-2009 at 03:34 PM.

Old 02-16-2009, 07:51 AM   #4
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jamiew1988 HB User
Re: Aspergers- Are you parents out there??


Right, I am an 20 year old adult with Aspergers.

One thing I would say with an autistic children who are having trouble socially, my may want to work on helping them meet other autistic/aspergers children, particularly like minded autistic/aspergers children with similar ability levels (i.e. don't try and introduce an intelligent aspergers/HFA child to someone with low functioning classic autism). It also may be worth seeing if theres any older people with Aspergers who would be want to be their friend, as that way they can learn new social skills better.

I personally, know quite a few different people with Aspergers, I do find it makes my life easier.


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Old 02-24-2009, 02:51 PM   #5
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Re: Aspergers- Are you parents out there??

I have a 37 YO son with asperger's. When he was young, aspies were just becoming known, so he sort of slipped through the cracks. We had all sorts of interventions going on, but eventually he graduated from high school. With persistence as his parents, we were finally able to receive a definitive diagnosis of asperger's when he was 30 YO. When I got in my car to drive home from the diagnostic consultation, I cried my heart out. 30 years of wondering why he had so much trouble was finally labeled.

I empathize with parents going through similar groanings. But aspies are quite capable of making it in today's world. My son is absolute proof of that, and he is an admirable human being. He is much loved and appreciated. You are in a place where there is recognition and specific intervention. You are blest!


Old 02-24-2009, 09:26 PM   #6
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Re: Aspergers- Are you parents out there??

My son Michael is 21 yrs. old and was diagnosed with AS in sixth grade and has been community college for 2.5 yrs. I believe he has enough credits to get his associates and go to a University to get his bachelor's in English. He is also a childhood cancer survivor and I homeschooled him from the ages of 6 through 10. His first year of school was 6th grade. So he really didn't receive the resources that he needed. He did have an IEP and a very understanding school psycologist that basically was his "go to" person during school. That really helped! If he had a problem he knew he could always go to her office and she would help. If you can get someone set up like that at school it would be helpful.

As for the social aspects, he has no friends. He talks to the other students in school but can never carry it outside of school. He did have one friend when he was younger (someone he grew up with) but once they got older the other boy really accelerated with his social life (girls, drinking etc) and Michael had no interest in either of those so they grew apart.

We are currently seeing a counselor to try and help with his transition to University and it seems to helping a little. He has problems sleeping and his grades went down the last semester so I knew he was having issues. He is on zoloft (has been since his bone marrow transplant after his cancer relapsed) it does help. I really feel in my heart of hearts he will get "there" it just going to take him longer. He is very intelligent and can be very funny but if he doesn't want to do something or be with someone he makes it clear.
He doesn't like to drive and I probably over compensate for his issues but I feel that he has been through enough already.

Our kids are great kids, they are unique, they are bright and loving. We are blessed to have them in our lives. Let's celebrate their differences and know that we have been chosen to show our kids the less chosen path....but the path that is more fulfilling.

My best to all of you other Aspie Mom's ....keep your chin up!

Old 05-03-2010, 02:30 PM   #7
jade jackson
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Re: Aspergers- Are you parents out there??

thank you so much for your comments...they have helped me a great deal as i too have a beautiful "little professor" with aspergers

Old 05-03-2010, 02:55 PM   #8
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Re: Aspergers- Are you parents out there??

And here I am with an almost 13 yo GIRL with Asperger's. I have known (I'm an OT) since she was 2 that she was on the spectrum but she was officially diagnosed last August when she went for a SPECT scan.

My daughter is in regular classes, A honor roll and has a lot of wonderful talents. She, too, struggles with the TAKS, but has so far passed it every time---sometimes by as little as 2 points! She's only had one friend in her life and that is a girl whom she's known since they were in diapers. Unfortunately, that girl is moving across the country in July, so you can all guess what that means for my girl.

It is tough and I always worry about what may lie ahead as in addition, my dd has severe ADHD and a mood disorder. Not a great combo for making friends and influencing people. Sigh.....

It's nice to hear from other moms about their children. Someone once told me that parents of children on the spectrum truly SUFFER. I have to agree. On the flip side, any improvement or success is CHERISHED!

I wish you all well on your journeys.

Last edited by Brocallie; 05-03-2010 at 02:58 PM.

Old 05-03-2010, 05:12 PM   #9
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Re: Aspergers- Are you parents out there??

Hello everyone,

I too have a daughter with AS. She is only six. I have always though she was on the spectrum but was not positive until she went to kindergarten. I was a disastor. She did not fit in socially with the other students and was terrified by all the noise 30 kids in a class can make. She also has separtion issues and cries for no reason. I had to pull her out of school until an IEP can be set up. Her meeting is this week. I hope the school will be accomodating because if not they will have a fight on their hands.

Old 05-30-2010, 03:32 PM   #10
ivy m
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Re: Aspergers- Are you parents out there??

have a six year old daughtes she is also our angel sounds so similar still waiting for an offical diagnosis told to espect it to be aspergers but could take up to two and a haf years for offical diagnoses before she can get any help at school hard to come to terms with and understand feel guilty for not understanding just joined this site be good to share notes

Old 06-03-2010, 10:53 AM   #11
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Cathy01 HB User
Re: Aspergers- Are you parents out there??

My son didn't really have any friends until he met some other kids on the A.Spectrum. One from his grade school and one from Jr High. They just seem to get each other and tolerate the others quirks. See if there is a support group around and meet other Asp. parents so maybe the kids can get to know each other. Also, talk to the counselor at your school. While they can't tell you if others kids him your sons grade have A.S. maybe she can arrange a "social hour" for those kids and have some kind of activity either at school or somewhere...if yours is like mine anything regarding video games/interests will get them talking to each other about their favorite subject.

Old 06-05-2010, 07:29 PM   #12
Rebecca Hawkins
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Re: Aspergers- Are you parents out there??

our little guy sounds just like this! he is very sensitive and cries very easily. he talks continuously and often with adult like conversation. currently we're having problems with his inability to get to the bathroom on time. if he's had an accident he doesn't seem to know it and can go all day without telling anyone. we are frustrated with it and seem to have no answers but are continuing to look for a solution for him.

Old 11-09-2011, 05:51 AM   #13
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Re: Aspergers- Are you parents out there??

My son was just like that; it does get easier as he grows.

Can you find something he likes? My son watched me play chess and then I taught him to play. He then went to chess club and he met other children who were not always AS but cerebral in their activity. We found they understood our son a bit more and he enjoyed their company. He made friends with one boy and they got on well. He no longer spends time with him but they still like each other and catch up when then meet.

He loves swimming and is now a very good junior competitive swimmer. This has helped his social standing at his school because they know how hard he works. It has broken down some of the barriers and it stopped all of the bullying too. Mind you he did deal with the school bully who was shocked to find the "geeky weird boy" was as strong as an ox (swimming helps) and could physically lift him no bother. I don't condone violence but we tried the diplomatic approach and it was good to see the bully get his come uppance!!

See if you can find a sport he likes and encourage him from there.

Old 11-16-2011, 08:29 PM   #14
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beverley47 HB User
Re: Aspergers- Are you parents out there??

my daughter has autism yes they are very good at things but they get hooked on things like doctor who and trains as my daughter is she is very neat nothing can be wrong in her room move some thing and she knows she is now 41 years old but 13 to 14 in the mind just let them follower what he want to do but make sure also you take him out of his comfort world some times, my daughter does not like mixing with other disable people, but only others like herself yes they know each other by site please dont ask me how they just do and will mix will with other regardless of age and people on the same level as themselfs and at times that can be very hard to live with perfect, above all treat him as if he is normal and to him and others like him he is normal

Last edited by beverley47; 11-16-2011 at 08:35 PM. Reason: spelling

Old 11-21-2011, 08:44 AM   #15
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weekaz HB User
Re: Aspergers- Are you parents out there??

My son was 20 years old before he was diagnosed with AS. I fought with schools, health visitors and doctors for years before they finally realised I was correct and there was a "problem". He was diagnosed just over a year ago and since we have had the diagnosis he has become more outgoing, he has joined drama classes, done plays and comes to life on stage which he loves. Of course there are still problems but we take it each day as it comes and after going though all the years of wondering, I would say yes it does get easier.

My 12 year old grandson was diagnosed only weeks ago but he seems even more withdrawn than my son was. He is struggling right now with school.

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