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brother has Aspergers?

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Old 01-04-2012, 09:09 PM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Canada
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rickzombo HB User
brother has Aspergers?

I’ve suspected for a couple years that my brother who is 32 might have Asperger’s. He’s always been a little “different” growing up, but he seems to be exhibiting more observable character traits since he’s been an adult. These include…

  • Seemingly obsessed with certain subjects (computers, technology, harmful things put in our food and water, etc. Fluoride, Aspartame) and often derails one-on-one and group conversations by bringing up and narrowly focusing on unrelated topics.
  • Very intelligent in regards to his narrow topics of interest.
  • Very few friends. The friends he has have known him since he was very young and have a well established understanding of what makes him tick.
  • Seems to communicate better with older people and children rather than with people his own age.
  • Fairly thin skinned, takes things the wrong way, thinks he’s consistently being ganged up on.
  • Has trouble maintaining a conversation on anything not in his range of interest, or shows no interest in engaging in a conversation if it’s not to his liking.
  • Loves his pets (cats) and is very protective of them.
  • lacks empathy.
  • Can come across as insensitive
  • Rarely asks personal questions (ex. How was your weekend?, how’s your job going?, etc.)
  • Usually seems quite grumpy and antisocial, but occasionally can shift to being quite talkative, energetic and personable.
  • Usually thinks logically, but seems unable to see the whole picture during conversations and arguments. Becomes fixated on one point.
  • Very little interest in art, clothing, fashion, sports, etc. Seems to view these things as illogical pursuits, and voices his displeasure about these topics quite often.
  • Still lives with parents.
  • Has trouble maintaining a job for a long period of time, for various reasons.
  • Socially awkward.
  • Rarely shows emotion.
  • Has an intense stare.
  • Has always been poorly coordinated at sports and shown almost no interest in it.

That’s all I can think of right now. My questions are, Does it sound like my brother has Aspergers? If so, how should I go about bringing it up to him?


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Old 01-07-2012, 12:51 PM   #2
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Re: brother has Aspergers?

It sounds like he is on the autistic spectrum somewhere . He would need to go to a professional and be diagnosed in order to know for sure. I do not know what a diagnoses would do for him ? If it would only hurt him then i don't think it is necessary, he has been getting along life ok this far, so what purpose of a diagnoses would their be? A label is not going to change him. Unless he wants answers as to why he is the way he is, i really do not see a a reason why he would want to find out. Since he is as old as he is , it would be his choice to decide to get tested.

Old 03-03-2012, 09:58 AM   #3
Sgt Tackleberry
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: New York City, New York
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Re: brother has Aspergers?

That sounds a lot like my own 38 yr old brother.

He absolutely never asks personal questions.

He only seems to talk about things that interest him.

It is difficult to "joke" around with him because he tends to take things literally.

He is very logical.

He never engages the conversation unless it is a personal story about himself. He is often stone cold silent for extended periods of time at family gatherings - such as for the entire day.

He doesn't show much emotion.

Has never expressed gratitude, love or sense of affection for anyone. For example, my wife just gave birth to our baby, and he has never once asked about his niece, asked to hold her when he is around her etc. He just ignores her existence. But it is not as if he is mean spirited, more like a blank slate.

He has a few narrow interests, which are really the only ways to engage him in conversation.

He has never had a girlfriend, or even if he did, he would never tell anyone about it.

He seems to talk to himself under his breath quite often.

He will never voluntarily try to get himself diagnosed, because he doesn't see that there is anything wrong. Likewise, it would be impossible to even just try talking to him about these issues because he will simply shut down, and essentially just tell you to shut up.

I assume that he has aspbergers, although he doesn't necessarily show the classic signs of it. He just seems totally self-absorbed and unable to relate to people on a deeper more personal and emotional level.

Last edited by Sgt Tackleberry; 03-03-2012 at 09:59 AM.

Old 03-03-2012, 03:06 PM   #4
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1
iliw HB User
Re: brother has Aspergers?

I think you're being oversensitive. You're both adults, so you have no obligation to regulate his behaviour.

Even if he seems weird, maybe you yourself need to develop a thicker skin, since you seem to be expecting him to act to accommodate your own needs. How is not liking sports bad? I personally don't see it as an illogical pursuit, but it's seems bad on your part to question his tastes/conception.

Have you ever spoken to him regarding his behaviour? I think sometimes we need to learn how to manage around others and meet them halfway. As a tangential point, if somebody is argumentative by nature, then don't oppose them or provoke them into arguments.

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