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  • I did NOT spoil him!

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    Old 10-04-2012, 11:22 PM   #1
    mery's Avatar
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    I did NOT spoil him!

    Hi new here. From the time my 8 year old son was an infant, I knew something was not normal. After he was born, he refused a bottle no matter how hungry he was. I had to stop working because he was starving himself. We thought he was just being stubborn. When it came time for baby-food, again he refused until I finally had to (gently) force it into his mouth. This I had to do every time I introduced a new food. Again we thought he was stubborn. When it came time to get him off the breast, he completely resisted, in fact the more I tried to ween him the worse he got. Stubborn! This continued with every milestone. As he got older it got worse. Everything had to be "just so". He would only eat certain foods. Everyone said I spoiled him. His cloths had to be just right. I pick his shoes out by putting my hands inside them and if I feel the slightest bump, I can't get them as he will not where them. In fact I(by his request) would just end up getting him the very same shoes, but bigger, every year. He just does not like change of any kind, but I was spoiling him. I have to put his socks on inside out and I have to cut the sides or else he will feel them and that just won't work. So all his socks have holes in them, but he is just picky and spoiled(that what everyone said anyway). At school he has NO friends and perfectly happy with it. He does not like going places. Not even birthday parties! Even of he knows the kid having a party. Even his own cousins! When we go to my nephews b-day parties he refuses to participate. In fact he does not like to go anywhere if there is people around. He will not allow anyone,including his Dad,siblings,or Grandparents, to do anything for him. It has to be me. But I was spoiling him! Not being tough enough! I was being a bad parent! nevermind i have 3 other kids! Yes one was ADHD yet he is a well rounded, happy,healthy, independent teen. The other 2 are completely normal. Yet I was being a bad parent. Everyone said I should force him to do this and that. Yet I knew it was more then that. I knew I did not spoil him that bad. Then someone brought ASD to my attention. I did some research and came across Asperger's syndrome and for the first time it all started to make since! It fit him. We are now in the process of getting a diagnosis. We have seen a pedi. Neurologist and we are about to get an MRI and generic testing to rule out "organic" causes. At first he was put on Vyvanse but it caused his slight tic to become very bad. He is now on intuniv and that has helped his impulsiveness a lot. Now we just wait until we get test results back and get him in to see someone to make an official diagnosis so we can get him the help WE need in order for him to learn how to deal with social interaction and skills so he can lead a normal productive, successful life.

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    Old 11-30-2012, 11:17 PM   #2
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    Re: I did NOT spoil him!

    Your right you did not spoil him. I love how you made that so clear. I, also have a son with aspergers, he's 13. My son has been a joy to raise. But not without incident. He can't stand certain smells or foods. Only a few he will eat. He love his family, his pets. He is very wary of strangers. So smart, loves to talk. At family dinners at grandma and grandpa's with his sister, favorite cousin and his girlfriend who we all love, he sits in the living room because it just overwhelms him to be in the dining room. He has so many quirks but he is so interesting. You have been blessed and I can tell that you know it. Its not always easy but its never dull! Best wishes to you and yours.

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    Old 07-15-2013, 05:10 PM   #3
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    Re: I did NOT spoil him!

    I have tourette syndrome and as a child I had extreme sensory issues Luke your son. I would only wear one type of jeans with an elastic waist and my mom went out and bought all she could find in varying sizes in case I grew out of a pair and she could not find any more. My shows had to be so tight they cut off my circulation and if they were not tight enough I would have meltdowns. You are definitely not spoiling your son. You are making it so he can function. I still have a few sensory irritants bug for the most part I grew out of the extreme ones and I hope your son will too.

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    Old 07-21-2013, 05:09 PM   #4
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    Re: I did NOT spoil him!

    No, you didn't spoil him. His AS is not your fault. I am sure he can be a successful adult someday.

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    Old 05-07-2014, 03:13 AM   #5
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    Re: I did NOT spoil him!

    My husband says that I have spoilt my son. I also disagree, if I had spoilt him we would have the 2hr meltdowns when I said no to him. It would probably be easier for me to give in a lot of the time, but I want to raise my children to survive in a world where things don't go to plan. Our sensory problems haven't been as extreme as yours. My son wouldn't drink expressed breast milk from a bottle, only formula, he new the difference at month old. In the hospital when he was born, he pretty much demanded to be permanently attached to my breast for 24hrs. The midwives took him away from me as they said I needed sleep (traumatic birth, emergency c-section) but after less than an hour they brought him back as the just couldn't console him. In the end the put sides up on my bed with pillows on each side and he fell asleep using me as a human dummy. I also had another day once back at home when he didn't sleep for 20hrs, he just looked at me! My parents came and tried him in the car, in the pram and it was at the 29hr point he fell asleep in the pram.
    We have had periods of cutting labels out of things, he won't wear "scratchy and itchy" things. He doesn't like t shirts with any cartoons or graphics on. He will only wear a certain style boxer shorts. I have taken him out just the other day with no shoes on as he refused to wear them as he didn't like how they felt. Oh flip, I know I'm on a tangent now but it feels nice to freely describe him, I don't do this with people I know, a lot of people don't even know x

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    Old 05-29-2017, 04:29 PM   #6
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    Re: I did NOT spoil him!

    I was always seen as the 'spoiled child'. Later in life (late twenties), I determined all of my odd quirks meet the same DX. Luckily my mother was very understanding of all my needs as a child even though there was no acceptable name for them at the time. Life without a DX was challenging and confusing why I was so different. I could only imagine what it would be like, if I was not allowed to be who I was at home.

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    Old 05-30-2017, 01:20 PM   #7
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    Re: I did NOT spoil him!

    You are doing just GREAT, Mama! Your son is blessed to have you.
    You did NOT spoil him!!!

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