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Asperger's Syndrome Message Board

Sex and the single woman with AS

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Old 02-05-2014, 08:52 AM   #1
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Madeofglass HB User
Sex and the single woman with AS


I'm so confused when it comes to both relationships and sexuality. As you can imagine, getting a relationship when you have both aspergers and add can be a challenge- it definitely is in my case.

So, I've been single most of my life- never had a relationship last for more than six months. I just get super stressed out and just want out. And fast. I'm 25 years old and a female.

So what do I do? I masturbate- I have tried online dating a bunch of times but I can just never seem to connect with anyone... and the guys who truly interest me usually live sorta far away and I have no money to travel and no energy either.

I have high morals and believe in God- but for some reason living like this just doesn't seem FAIR. Why am I left out when everyone else is out there having fun? Do I not deserve to be touched? Should I just continue searching till the end of the world?

What if I can't even find a good partner who'd understand my condition(s)?

So long story short. Should I go and get a casual relationship? One night stands? I'm terrified of ending up with some sorta STD or getting pregnant... What do other single women with Aspergers do? Do they not have sex? Do they even crave to be touched?

I have had one one night stand- well, basically I just went to bed on the first date and we never saw each other again. it was the best sexual experience of my life- I just can't handle the stress of being tied to someone and I'm pretty sure it's due to my Aspergers...

Of course I dream about falling in love.... I've never experienced it but in the mean time... should I just be depressed and feel less of a woman? My right hand is really getting tired and I don't want to buy vibrators... lol... I just don't like the idea of someone accidentally finding them (plus, I have no money to buy them anyway).

Help me. Please. Anyone. Especially other girls/women.

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Old 09-19-2014, 08:59 AM   #2
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Mars
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justjess4019 HB User
Re: Sex and the single woman with AS


Thank you for posting what you did.
I also find it highly difficult to maintain a relationship. WAY too much energy needed to be put forth and don't feel that it's important enough to risk any emotions.
I used to try out many different types of people of that level but realized that i leave them because i'm exhausted from thinking how pointless it all is.
I went through my one night stand stage as well and would be lying if i said i didn't enjoy it. I am gay and preferred emotionless sex with straight (sometimes married) women.
After years of various women, i've learned to set goals instead..they seem to occupy my sexual tendencies.
If you must find you other half, why not find a hobby and someone that shares the same interest?

Just because people say it's "normal" to have friends, get married and have kids doesn't mean it's normal for you..or any of us.
Go with whatever flow you please, just know you're not alone

-a perfectly content with being single kind of woman

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Old 12-20-2014, 07:15 PM   #3
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karlee1010 HB Userkarlee1010 HB Userkarlee1010 HB Userkarlee1010 HB Userkarlee1010 HB Userkarlee1010 HB Userkarlee1010 HB User
Re: Sex and the single woman with AS

Hi. Welcome to Healthboards. I can really relate to your post. Morals are very important to me also, and I just know I'd never really be content with myself to have one night stands, even if that is "the norm" in this world. It's not for me. Now, I came to this board because my friend's baby was just diagnosed, and I want to learn about Autism, and Asperger's. I'm responding to you because I completely relate to you. You may have Asperger's, but, what you want for yourself is awesome. Good for you. I'm proud of you and want to support you in it. I think if you "lower" those standards for someone else, you'll end up just not feeling good about yourself for it. To be honest with you, YOU are not the one in the wrong for having these high moral standards, the people who think that nothings wrong with one night stands are. (if you ask me. Haha) Of course, many may not agree with me here. Another thing is that you and i can be lonely ladies on many nights, which is no fun. But, it's something we won't have to regret one day, that's the good part. Thank you for sharing this.

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Old 05-29-2017, 04:32 PM   #4
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Canton
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amandax53 HB User
Re: Sex and the single woman with AS

I routinely lower my standards for the same person. As probably as unhealthy as that might be. The way I see it, it offers the best of both worlds. I have no interest in a regular commitment, but I despise meeting new people. I need familiarity without it being an everyday thing.

Certainly not an easy aspect of AS

Last edited by amandax53; 05-29-2017 at 04:33 PM.

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